VideoReport #495

Volume CDXCV- That Time It Never Stopped Snowing, Ever, And Everyone Stayed Home And Rented All The Movies And Stayed Safe And Warm: The Movie

For the Week of 2/10/15

Videoport will give you a free movie every, single day if you’re not careful. Whoops—see? We just gave you a free movie. Sorry.

Middle Aisle Monday! Take a free rental from the Science Fiction, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Popular Music, Mystery/Thriller, Animation, or Staff Picks sections with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for $7.99!

>>>Videoport customer Ryan M. suggests Southland Tales (in Incredibly Strange). Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Sarah southlandtales2dMichelle Gellar, and Sean William Scott (and Justin Timberlake, Wallace Shawn, Christopher Lambert, Amy Poehler, Cheri Oteri, Nora Dunn, John Larroquette, Bai Ling, Jon Lovitz, Wood Harris, Mandy Moore, Holmes Osborne, Zelda Rubinstein, Lou Taylor Pucci, Will Sasso, Miranda Richardson, and even Kevin Smith done up as an old, wheelchair bound scientist) star in this sprawling Los Angeles epic in which 2008 is still the future and World War III has kicked off with a twin nuclear strike on El Paso and Abilene, Texas. The whole world is in hysterics, censorship and security are at an all-time low, an alternate fuel source from the ocean dubbed “Fluid Karma” might be messing with the Earth’s rotation, soldiers come home from the war and quote Revelations, and an amnesiac celebrity with heavy political ties pens a science fiction script with his porn-star mistress that prophesizes the end of days. Also, it’s a comedy. This is me merely touching the surface of Richard Kelly’s sophomore feature Southland Tales, although I’m neither interested in spoiling any more of it nor confident in my ability to do so in the first place. It is perhaps the only way that Kelly could have possibly followed up Donnie Darko – that is, by expanding the scope of his artistic vision to the point where it threatens to lose itself in a sea of its own ambition. To many, this is precisely what it does, and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t absolutely loathe it the first time I saw it, which was a couple years ago. But I revisited it (a few times) recently and had a complete change of heart. It’s better viewed as a collage of sorts that reflects upon the crazy, ridiculous present world than a conventional narrative film, and while that may be a lot for certain viewers to adjust to in order to properly embrace the journey down the road not taken, it’s what makes it all so seductively bonkers to me. It’s frequently amusing – and to give the reader a taste of what I mean, I think a certain fake car commercial in which two vehicles engage in sexual intercourse is worth mentioning – and in spite of the near-consistent references to classic sci-fi literature and noir cinema, it doesn’t seem all that interested in whether it’s being taken seriously or not. In fact, Southland Tales doesn’t care much at all what you think of it on a whole; but not in a way that feels careless. I think it’s incredibly smart and visionary in spite of its silliness; there are tonal shifts that at first appear jarring but start to feel more naturalistic upon repeated visits to the Southland. It’s bitingly satirical throughout, although by the end it has blossomed into a tragedy in which the final moments consist of characters being emotionally honest to one-other, for once, in a world united in lies. I personally find that kind of beautiful. There’s something charming about a film that takes such pride in its own schizophrenic ambience, which is something that we just don’t see often enough in movies of the modern age. For that reason, I feel that Kelly’s film is worth getting lost in. I find it easier to roll with now that I’ve given it a few more chances to win me over, and one must simply remember to keep an open heart and an open mind. Oh, and don’t forget. Pimps. Don’t. Commit. Suicide.

Tough and Triassic Tuesday! Give yourself a free rental from the Action or Classics section with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for $7.99!

>>> Hey! You know how Netfl*x sucks? I know, right? Well, here’s the monthly list of movies this soulless corporate entity thinks you don’t need to see anymore and are therefore being sh*tcanned from their horrible, glitch internet service. Oh, and all of them are available at Videoport and will be forever, of course.

  • A View to a Kill
  • Airheads
  • Ali
  • Apocalypse Now
  • Apocalypse Now Redux
  • Arbitrage
  • Batman & Robin
  • Batman Forever
  • Batman Returns
  • B00005OCTIblackaddBlackadder: Seasons 1­-4
  • Cocoon: The Return
  • Dirty Rotten Scoundrels
  • Dredd
  • Fawlty Towers: Seasons 1­-2
  • For Your Eyes Only
  • From Russia with Love
  • Goldfinger
  • Jane Eyre
  • Live and Let Die
  • Mad Max
  • MASH
  • MI­5: Seasons 1­-10
  • Nacho Libre
  • Never Say Never Again
  • Panic Room
  • Red Dwarf
  • Revenge
  • School Daze
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie
  • The Juror
  • Wishmaster
  • Zodiac

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday! You’ve got a free rental coming from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for $7.99!  

>>> Thrifty Thursday! Rent one, get a free rental from any other section in the store! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for $7.99!                                        

>>>Emily S. Customer suggests Mad Men, “A Day’s Work,” S7 ep2. It’s Valentine’s Day, 1969, and the offices of SC&P are GetAttachmentabuzz with excitement and expectation… but “A Day’s Work” is less about romance and more about the tension (sociologists call it “role conflict”) that professional women face when their romantic lives become a matter of public consumption and entertainment, and even more about the indignities SC&P’s working women of color encounter with ignorant colleagues for whom racism is rarely a conscious thought, but a never-ending parade of rudeness, assumptions, and small hostilities. [Expect SPOILERS to follow.] Peggy (Elisabeth Moss) arrives at her office already primed for bitterness; on their shared elevator ride, her subordinates tease her about her spinsterhood. Gloomily ruminating on her own romantic life, she assumes the lavish bouquet of roses on her secretary’s desk are for her and not for Shirley (Sola Bamis), leading to a comedy of errors as funny and as mortifying as anything in the series’ history. But the most eloquent conversation in the episode is a simple hello between Shirley and Dawn (Teyonah Parris). Dawn is a buttoned-down conservative given to mild prints, long hems, blazers, and a succession of little collared dresses reminiscent of Peggy’s wardrobe during her early years at Sterling Cooper. Shirley is more fashion-forward and more casual, wearing her bright, short, colorful modern dresses with chunky jewelry that’s looking ahead to the ‘70s, and capping it all with a natural that contrasts with Dawn’s sleek relaxed ‘do. But apparently their co-workers don’t notice their differences, only their supposed similarity: crossing paths in the kitchen, Dawn greets Shirley with a meaningful “Hello, Dawn”; Shirley answers, “Hello, Shirley.” They follow up with a long, detailed exposition mixed with their emotional and practical realities, but that greeting is the most revealing exchange in the episode.

Free Kids Friday! One free rental from the Kids section, no other rental necessary! OR get any three non-new releases for a week for $7.99!          

>>> It’s a free kids movie! There are a lot to choose from! For free!                                                                                

Having a Wild Weekend! Rent two movies, and get a third one for free from any section! OR get any three non-new releases for a week for $7.99!                                              

>>> For Saturday, Videoport suggests taking a chance, people! The greatest thing about Videoport, is that we have all the best movies (and TV shows) you’ve never seen. (Sure, you’ve seen some, but we’ve got so many more.) Another great thing about Videoport is that you can have a free movie every single day you rent here. So here’s our idea—pick up something you’ve never seen before! Maybe something you’ve always meant to see. Maybe something with a cool cover you’ve never heard of. Maybe something you ask one of us about, or one we recommend to you. You’ll never run out of free movies, and we’ll never run out of things to recommend. Endless movies. All for you. Take a chance.

nurse-jackie-sixth-season.22958>>> For Sunday, Dennis suggests The Signal (in Sci-Fi/Fantasy). Yay! It’s a movie I can’t tell you anything about (because, as ever, people who spoil twists for people are garbage people). Here’s what I can say: 1. It’s in the sci-fi section, and Laurence Fishburne is on the cover wearing some sort of hazmat suit. 2. It starts out with a trio of brainy college types tracing down the computer signals of a mysterious hacker. 3. Then something happens I can’t tell you about, but it’s signaled with a shocking little moment that made me go, “WHAAA???!” 4. Laurence Fishburne is awesome, as ever, doing a sly, little spooky scientist thing. 5. The twist is both silly and cool and very entertaining. 6. If you want to pair it with something similar, id go with: Banshee Chapter, and then some other movies I can’t tell you about because, spoilers. 7. It’s worth a look.

New Releases this week at Videoport: Nurse Jackie—season 6 (Edie Falco is backrosewater-trailer-poster in this darkly comic series about the toughest nurse you’ve ever met—partly because she’s a huge druggie, but still), Rosewater (The Daily Show’s Jon Stewart directs his first movie, a fact-based drama about Iranian journalist Maziar Bahari, who was imprisoned and tortured by the Iranian government—after he did a satirical bit for The Daily Show. So really, it’s the least Stewart could do for the guy—starring Gael Garcia Bernal), Nightcrawler (Jake Gyllenhall slims down and creeps up to play the lead, a very creepy thief who starts filming crime scenes and selling the footage to the news. Gyllenhall—just to reiterate—super Nightcrawler_PayoffPostercreepy in this one), Kill The Messenger (The week’s second film about real-life government evil, but this time it’s about the US government! Jeremy Renner plays real life journalist Gary Webb, 2014-10-09-FIN09_KTM_1Sht_Trim1409248648who was driven nearly insane (and nearly to suicide) by the CIA after he exposed the illegal—and thoroughly evil—funding of the Nicaraguan Contras through, among other things, cocaine trafficking.), In Your Eyes (The great Joss Whedon [Buffy, Angel, The Avengers, Firefly, Cabin In The Woods, Dollhouse] wrote this mysterious romance about a young man and woman with an unexplained bond I can’t tell you 28404_275x407about because people who carelessly spoil the twists of movies are deeply wrong, and 2013_Kink-James-Francoevil, and should probably be locked up where their callous nonsense can’t hurt the rest of us. Anyway, it’s supposed to be very good.), Kink (James Franco produces this documentary about the surprisingly thoughtful and daring men and women behind the scenes of S&M website kink.com. Just in time for your 50 Shades Of Grey movie outing!), Poker Night (Twisted thriller about a young detective kidnapped by a serial killer who chains him up in a basement. 32d9bd181d51b1be26b4ded7c4dc8ebe975bc922.jpg__620x465_q85_crop_upscaleThe cop tries to save himself and a female hostage with the knowledge he’s gleaned Poker-Night-Greg-Francis-Movie-Posterfrom the weekly poker game he’s in with experienced cops like Ron Perlman, Titus Welliver, and Giancarlo Esposito.), Predestination (Ethan Hawke stars in this thoughtful, brain-twisting sci fi time travel thriller about a time cop sent back to the 1970s to prevent a bombing. It’s getting compared to movies like Looper—which is a good sign), Force Majeure (When an FORCE-MAJEURE-Movie-Posteravalanche strikes a ski resort in the French Alps, a Swedish family is changed forever when the father makes a tragic split-second decision), Alexander And The Terrible, alexander-and-the-terrible-horrible-no-good-very-bad-day-poster-1Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Based on that cute, little picture book you read to your kids in about 12 minutes, this family comedy pads out the very bad, no-good stuff with comic hijinx from Steve Carell and Jennifer Garner), Olive Kitteridge (The great Frances McDormand stars in this acclaimed HBO miniseries about a perpetually crabby and miserable Maine women over the decades. It’s based on a novel by Maine author Elizabeth Strout and costars the likes of Richard Jenkins, Bill Murray, and Peter Mullan), Laggies (From cool director Lynn Shelton [Humpday, Your Sister’s Sister] comes this olive-kitteridge-postercomedy about a young woman [Keria Knightley] who ends up moving in with the 16 year old girl [ever-interesting Chloe Grace Moretz] she meets laggies-poster1after fleeing her fiancé. Single dad Sam Rockwell wonders, understandably, why his teenage daughter is hanging out with a grown woman)

New Releases on Blu Ray this week at Videoport: Zero Theorem, Dracula Untold, Ouija

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