VideoReport #336

Volume CCCXXXVI- The Godzillahood of the Traveling Pants

For the Week of 1/24/12

Videoport gives you a free movie every day. How do we do it? You don’t know…you don’t wanna know…

Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)

>>>The Oscar nominations are out! Videoport suggests you check out these Oscar-nominated films/actors/directors (at least some of which are probably in the middle aisle!)

-For Best Picture, you can rent: Midnight in Paris (in Drama), The Help (in Drama), Tree of Life (in Drama), and Moneyball (surprise!- in Drama.)

-For Best Director, it’s just Woody Allen for Midnight in Paris and Terrence Malick for The Tree of Life so far.

-Best Actor: Demian Bechir (A Better Life- Drama), and Brad Pitt (Moneyball-Drama.)

This is the one you haven't heard of...

-Best Actress: only Viola Davis is on DVD at the moment (The Help- Drama)

-Supporting Actor: Jonah Hill (Moneyball), Nick Nolte (Warrior), and Christopher Plummer (Beginners.) All in Drama.

- Supporting Actress: Jessica Chastain (The Help), Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids), and Octavia Spencer (The Help.)

-Original Screenplay: Bridesmaids, Margin Call, Midnight in Paris.

-Adapted Screenplay: Moneyball, The Ides of March.

-Documentary: If a Tree Falls: A Story of the Earth Liberation Front.

Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)

>>> Andy suggests Design for Living(in the Criterion section). For such a stylish, urbane film, Design for Living sure is lurid (especially considering that it was made in 1933). It’s about the charming and

We're totally having sex...in the 30's!

genuinely sweet Gilda (Miriam Hopkins) who has affairs with two poor artists, playwright Tom (Frederic March) and painter George (Gary Cooper). And it’s clear that these are sexual affairs, by the way. Tom and George are lifelong friends and roommates and don’t want to throw it all away over a woman. But their love for Gilda is as serious as her love for both of them. Basically, everybody loves everybody. Gilda suggests, scandalously, that they all live together as a threesome, but there’s one catch: “No sex!” Surprisingly, this situation brings out the best in all of them. Gilda acts as the artists’ muse, inspiring the best work of their careers. But success creates new complications, as when Tom is lured away to London to oversee the production of his play, leaving George and Gilda alone… Design for Living was directed by Ernst Lubitsch and displays his famous “Lubitsch Touch.” I don’t know if the touch has been decisively defined, but I’d describe it as very theatrical and unsubtle, but also clever and witty. And so European. Lubitsch’s use of obvious visual metaphors can be very funny, like a wink and a nudge to the audience. But he usually stops just short of being obnoxiously smug or tastelessly vulgar. In Design for Living, the director gets away with a lot because his characters are so likable, and so enthusiastically performed by the cast. Gilda, especially, is a lovable character. As she swoons for Tom and George, she reveals herself to be as carnal an animal as either of them. But her sexuality is seen as honest and pure, not manipulative and destructive (as sexuality would often be judged when the Production Code kicked in). Gilda can be reckless, though, like when she seduces George by telling him that, while they have a gentleman’s agreement, “I am no gentleman.” That’s hot stuff (and not just for 1933).

>>>Emily S. Customer suggests All about Eve (in Classics.) Joseph L. Mankiewicz’s scathingly dry, ascerbically witty film about Broadway diva Margo Channing (Bette Davis in one of her most iconic roles) and her closest circle of friends (and of “friends”) reaches its turning point at her lover’s birthday party — appropriately enough, considering Margo’s preoccupation with her age, his age, and the gap between them. “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental. OR, get four non-new releases for a week for seven bucks!)

>>>Emily S. Customer suggests a comedy birthday episode triple feature! First, there’s Community S2 disc 3 ep “Critical Film Studies” It’s Abed’s birthday and the study group is throwing him a Pulp Fiction-themed surprise party — which should blow the mind of a pop-culture trope machine like Abed. (Annie: “He’s going to say ‘cool’ at least five times!”) But Abed has other plans: he asks Jeff to meet him alone at a white-linen restaurant for a grown-up dinner, complete with grown-up talk and a grown-up cardigan for Abed. This episode stands as an example of the thoughtful approach “Community” writers take to story construction and to the show’s many layers of allusion and reference: even if the more obscure elements elude the casual viewer, the story — and the jokes! — still flow and resonate.

Do NOT let this show die.

Next up, it’s Community S2 disc 2, ep “Mixology Certification” Happy expulsion-from-the-uterus day to Troy! Raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, Troy has never celebrated his birthday, and the frosted message on the study group’s celebratory cake makes a token attempt to respect that tradition. But when Troy realizes that it’s his 21st birthday, not his 20th, all bets are off: the gang heads out to a neighborhood dive, eager to usher Troy into manhood. And they do, though in a much more authentic and heartfelt way than anyone expected. This is an astonishingly touching and earnest story, and also side-splittingly funny — a rare combination anywhere, and especially on mainstream TV.

Then there’s “The Office,” S4 disc 2, ep “Survivor Man” Stung at being excluded from a corporate camping retreat, Michael sets out on his own to brave the Pennsylvania wilderness. Jim, left in charge of the office, decides to streamline the office’s many time-wasting birthday celebrations into one small party. Uh-oh.

>>>Dennis suggests you get to know newly-minted Best Actor nominee Jean Dujardin in OSS 117: Cario, Nest of Spies and OSS 117: Lost in Rio (in the Foreign Language section.) Sure, he won’t win, since he’s all foreign-y and stuff, but it’s great to see the lanky, goofy-smiled Frenchman get some serious publicity, especially since I was already a huge fan by virtue of his performance in these two Gallic James Bond spoofs. Playing a Bond-era secret agent, Dujardin brings every sexist, racist, fascist element implied in the Bond-ian worldview and turns it into comic gold. Impeccably-tailored in Connery-esque couture, OSS 117 breezes through each of these hilariously-dippy comic adventures, nimbly-skewering the paternalistic, psychotically, heedlessly-violent attitudes inherent in the secret agent genre, all the while taking time out for the occasional goofy flashback or live chick fight. And Dujardin is pitch-perfect, his sleek handsomeness tilted ever so slightly into the goofy range. He’s a very funny guy- and about to become much, much more famous, so get in on the ground floor…

Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)

>>> Emily S. Customer suggests Breaking Bad, S1 disc 1 (in Feature Drama.) The pilot introduces us to Walter White on his 50th birthday, a milestone in any life, and especially in a life so flatly ordinary and uninspired. Once a promising science prodigy, Walter now teaches high school chemistry to silently indifferent kids, works a demeaning second job to make ends (barely) meet, and finally goes home to a blandly run-down suburban home and a distracted nagging wife. It would take a jarring disaster indeed to knock Walter White out of his rut of quiet desperation — and a jarring disaster is exactly what he gets.

Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).

>>>Emily S. Customer suggests Sleeping Beauty. The King and Queen have had a baby girl! Joy! Celebration! Jubilation! Then the fairies all gather to bestow their birthday blessings upon the little bundle of joy: beauty, song, and — Whoa! Maleficent, outraged not to have received the royal invitation, curses the baby; on her sixteenth birthday, Princess Aurora will prick her finger and diiiiiiiiie. Yikes. Worst. Birthday party. EVER. One last fairy delivers her own gift, a softening of the curse: rather than dying, the girl will simply fall into a peaceful sleep. And so will the entire kingdom, only to be awakened if Aurora should receive true love’s kiss. So, let me get this straight, good fairy: you’re re-distributing this curse upon all the folks in the kingdom, bringing all their lives to a screeching halt, then banking the futures of an entire realm on the off-chance that, trapped there immobile behind a thicket of thorns, this completely passive, silent, eternally unconscious girl will meet a partner who loves her without hesitation and, indeed, without introduction? So, basically, their fate relies upon any random guy who’s into comatose chicks? Super. Great solution, good fairy.

Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)

>>>For Saturday, Emily S. Customer suggests Mad Men, S1 disc 1, ep “Marriage of Figaro” (in Feature Drama.) For the first few episodes, Don Draper looks like a slick and promising culture hero, a handsome and prodigiously talented rogue who breaks all the rules. Plenty of viewers found ways to excuse his excesses, almost recasting them as merits. He drinks too much? Well, sure he does, steeped as he is in the high-pressure liquid-lunch mindset of mid-century Madison Ave. He plays around? Well, yeah: he’s a man’s man and a ladies’ man; women can’t keep their hands off him. He discounts the concerns of women (both at home and in the office) and privileges the experiences of men? Well, sure, it was a different time and blah blah blah. But in the third episode, Matt Weiner starts to chip away at the smoke-and-whiskey glamor of Don Draper, showing us what happens when that perfectly Brylcreemed coif gets a little rumpled. It’s Sally Draper’s birthday, a landmark that she’ll remember all her life, and Don is about to show us — and her — just how trustworthy and reliable he is.

>>>For Sunday, Emily S. Customer suggests Friday Night Lights(in Feature Drama.) Fffffft, a show about football? No.. Listen, to describe myself as “not interested in football” is not so much an

Clear eyes...full hearts...can't lose.

understatement as it is a funny little joke. Man, do I not give a hot goddamn about football, especially (as an erstwhile gothy Texas teen) staggeringly popular Texas high school football. I don’t know the fundamentals of the game or the roles of the various players. I do not care about football. And I am loving this show. That’s because “Friday Night Lights” is about football the way that “The Wire” is about electronic surveillance or the way “Mad Men” is about midcentury advertising: the best dramas use the subject as a lens through which to examine a community and a cast of complex characters. “Friday Night Lights” is delivering those characters and how: the high school students already dealing with all the attendant pressures of impending adulthood, plus the immeasurable strain of being the sole source of entertainment and pride for a zealously supportive community; the adults who support or strain them.

New Releases this week at Videoport: Real Steel (ROBOT SMASH!! I mean, in this touching, inspirational sports drama, Hugh Jackman plays a washed-up boxer trying to win the futuristic sport of robot boxing, where he trains a robot boxer to ROBOT SMASH!!!!), 50/50 (Joseph Gordon-Leavitt turns to typically-boorish pal Seth Rogen when he’s diagnosed with cancer in this comedy/drama “canceromedy”), Paranormal Activity 3 (round three in this entry in the cost-effective “surveillance camera” horror genre; c’mon, you’ve come this far…), The Whistleblower (intense drama with Rachel Weisz, an Nebraska cop acting as a UN peacekeeper in Bosnia who goes public with a sex scandal against the wishes of pretty much everyone in charge; costarring Vanessa Redgrave and David Strathairn), Revenge of the Electric Car (Tim Robbins narrates this documentary sequel to Who Killed the Electric Car? detailing the return of those seeking to rethink how the American car industry operates. Hint: it involves electric cars…), ‘Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations’- Season Six, Part 2 (whether eating bull testicles or calling out Paul Deen for turning the Southern US into one giant lard-bucket, people love watching Bourdain’s grumpy gastronomy), Today’s Special (‘The Daily Show’‘s Aasif Mandvi writes and stars in this culinary comedy about an aspiring chef whose plans to study in Paris are derailed when he finds himself forced to take over his family downscale Indian restaurant in Queens), Yamla Pagla Deewana (check out Videoport’s Bollywood section for this colorful comedy/drama about a married Canadian who heads back tot he old country to reunite with his estranged father), Beginning of the Great Revival (on the heels of the Jackie Chan-directed 1911 [available in the Foreign section] comes another star-studded historical epic glorifying the birth of Communist China, shockingly-funded by Communist China; at least it stars certified cool guys like Chow Yun Fat, Andy Lau, and director John Woo…), Beware the Gonzo(high school comedy about an

I'm sure HST would be fine with a high school teen comedy using his name...or he would shoot everybody. Hard to say...

outcast, fired from the school newspaper, who decides to go all Hunter S. Thomson on his school), Essential Killing(visceral survival/political thriller about a captured Taliban [played as an Afghani by American psycho director/actor Vincent Gallo] who, held for torture at a secret American prison in

I think what they're telling that lady is, "No sudden movements..."

Poland, escapes and must fight his way through the Polish wilderness; directed by Polish legend Jerzy Skolimowski [Moonlighting]), Ice (new anime!), Queen of the Sun: What Are the Bees Telling Us? (documentary takes a hard look at the fact that all the bees are dying; I think they’d want to tell us that they’re all dying, and that we should help them- just a guess), Happy Happy (acclaimed Norwegian drama about a put-upon housewife whose life is revitalized when a seemingly-perfect couple moves in next door), The Lie (Joshua Leonard [The Blair Witch Project, Humpday] directs and stars in this indie comedy about a beleaguered husband whose lie, intended to just get his boss off his back, starts taking over his entire life.)

New Arrivals this week at Videoport: Between the Folds (like paper? Like folding things? Well then this documentary about a group of eccentric scientists and artists dedicated to origami is right up your street), Infinity (Matthew Broderick directs and stars in this biopic about the life of physicist, oddball, and one-time Bowdoin College professor Richard Feynman.)

New Arrivals on Blu-Ray this week at Videoport: Real Steel, 50/50.

VideoReport #335

Volume CCCXXXV- I Powerwalked With a Zombie

For the Week of 1/17/12

Videoport gives you a free movie every day. Oh, and free money (with our payment plans.) RIght, and free parking at any downtown garage. Oh, I forgot- we’ve also got the best selection of movies anywhere, employees who know everything about movies, and are locally-owned and independent. Man, I’m just gonna say it- Videoport’s got it going on…

Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)

The glammiest of the glam, indeed.

>>>Emily S. Customer suggests Velvet Goldmine (in the Incredibly Strange section.) Writer-director Todd Haynes (I’m Not There, Safe) intended Velvet Goldmine to tell the story of David Bowie’s rise to fame, but Bowie refused his approval — and songs — when he realized the script focused on a largely-fictionalized account of his sexual exploits and public persona rather than his musical career. Haynes made a virtue of necessity, rewriting and reframing the narrative. What could have been a mere bio-pic became instead a wider statement about the consuming nature of fame and power. Fittingly, it follows the structure of Orson Welles’ notoriously not-a-bio-pic Citizen Kane: reporter Arthur Stuart (Christian Bale) is tapped to investigate the disappearing act of former rock idol Brian Slade, the glammest of the glam, whose most outrageous stage act drove him into obscurity. As in Kane, the reporter tries to divine the icon’s history at second-hand, struggling to assemble the glib or sorrowful gossip of Slade’s scattered coterie into a coherent history. Unlike Kane, Velvet Goldmine ties the reporter’s personal narrative to the subject’s, expressing the slippery way we incorporate famous personas into our own histories, consuming the energy of those we admire or emulate, eroding their identities in favor of our own projections. Velvet Goldmineshows us the grime under a layer of glitter, the sordid soul-drain that fame can become. It could have been dreary or didactic, but instead the film is a giddy tissue of visual tales, richly laced with a soundtrack of glam-rock’s greatest hits, original and reworked (and notably minus any David Bowie).

Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)

>>> Andy suggests Nicholas Cage’s 2011 output: Drive Angry, Season of the Witch (both in the Action/Adventure section), and Trespass(in the Mystery/Thriller section). Poor Nic Cage. As most of

Cage.

us know, he’s fallen on hard personal and financial times. That’s really none of our business, except that we continue to watch the movies he makes, and it’s likely that if he was in a better financial situation, he would be choosier when it comes to his film projects. Sure, he had his artistic successes this past decade (Adaptation, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call: New Orleans), as well as several good entertainments (Lord of War,

Cage!

Kick-Ass), but those high points have been dwarfed by all that pure crap (Ghost Rider, Bangkok Dangerous, The Wicker Man, and more). Two thousand eleven was not Mr. Cage’s most distinguished year. Take Trespass for example. It must have looked good on paper: a home invasion thriller starring Cage and Nicole Kidman, and directed by old pro Joel Schumacher. Unfortunately, if anything distinguishes Trespass, it’s that it is the least suspenseful home invasion thriller I’ve ever seen. Schumacher seems completely out of touch with real people with real lives. The house being invaded is a production designer’s dream, not a lived-in home. And while Cage, Kidman, and the actors who play the thugs give it their all, someone forgot to write characters for them. Oh well. Season of the Witch and Drive Angryare easier to enjoy.

Caaaaaage!!!

They are bad movies, but at least they’re fun. Drive Angry is pure trash. It’s full of over the top violence and sex (in one scene, simultaneously), car chases, and sneering, snarling attitude. And if that’s not enough, it was originally in 3D, so there are lots of gimmicky effects. I enjoyed every minute of it. Season of the Witch isn’t as nasty and stylish as Drive Angry, but at least it doesn’t take itself as seriously as Trespass. It stars Cage and Ron Perlman as mercenary knights hired to transport an evil witch (or is she just a misunderstood girl?) from one town to another for some reason. The witch/girl is suspected of causing the Black Death, so she is kept in a cage during the journey. Better safe than sorry! This is just a modest genre film, better described as “not very good” than “bad.” Still, I enjoyed it more than Leaving Las Vegas. Let’s all wish Nic Cage a happy and productive 2012!

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental. OR, get four non-new releases for a week for seven bucks!)

>>>Former Videoporter Stockman suggests ‘Better Off Ted’ (in Comedy.) In general no matter how much I watch I hold the belief there is always one more elusive pearl of greatness that I’ve missed. So far I’m usually right! I imagine someday I will have wasted so many hours of my life watching movies and television that I will have watched everything good ever, probably a hundred times over.  That hundred times over part comes from the pockets between gem unearthing when you’re driven to re-watching something reliably good. That’s because those pockets of time can be brutal! There’s really only so much crap you can wade through before your desperate for quality, even quality you’ve seen many times before. Sometimes though you just aren’t up for watching one of your favorite standards and its during these times you turn to a recent uncovered gem! I’ve been turning a lot to re-watching episodes of Better Off Ted. This show is fast moving from recent ‘fun uncovered gem’ to ‘new standard’! The first time I watched this I thought it was very well done and very clever but nothing I would ever end up re-watching. How wrong I was and how pleased I am to be wrong, because this show gets better with every viewing (the Veridian Dynamics commercials alone are worth the watch)! It’s not necessarily one of those shows like an Arrested Development where re-watching can actually leads you to a brilliant joke you never noticed before. You just start to appreciate more and more the dry wit, the character development, and the truly stellar acting from a great cast including Arrested Development alum Portia De Rossi. The show definitely had the same tone as Arrested Development, so I would recommend it to anyone who was also a fan of that show (thus making you a fan of things that are awesome). It was also underappreciated and cancelled far too soon.

Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)

>>> Dennis suggests The Mindscape of Alan Moore (in Documentary Arts.) Comics nerds everywhere [like me, clearly] worship Alan Moore, creator of Watchmen, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, From Hell, V for Vendetta, and others. Also, his work in such mainstream comics as Swamp Thing and Batman (his graphic novel Batman: The Killing Joke is the definitive Joker story) elevated the art form into something like, well, art. So it was inevitable I’d check out this documentary about Moore’s life, raving fanboy that I am. After watching it, I gotta say- not what I was expecting; sure, he goes into some detail on the creation of his most famous comics creations, but the film is more about letting Moore expound, after some initial biographical details about his difficult childhood in poverty-stricken Northampton, England, on the themes and theories about not only comics, but also the likes of mysticism, technology, fame, and creativity itself. Once I reconciled myself to the fact that I wasn’t going to get all the nerdy details I wanted, I was pretty well mesmerized just listening to Moore talk. With his trademark long, curtain-y hair and beard, long and sinister-looking finger-rings, and brightly-glinting eyes peering out from the middle of it all, Moore could easily cut a ridiculous figure, a poser playing at being a mystic. But as you listen to him expound on life, the universe and everything, it’s clear that he’s the smartest guy in the room, no matter what room that might be; I’d love to get Moore, Stephen Fry, and maybe Noam Chomsky together on a chat show sometime- I’m fairly sure they’d solve at least one major societal problem by the end of it. With his odd northern accent (“everything” sounds like “everythink”), Moore sanely dissects a lot of different subjects and sounds eminently rational about even the most farfetched. I mean, I don’t personally have any time for Kabbalah, or the tarot, but I know absolutely that I’d have no chance in an argument with him. A little nerdy, a little psychedelic, and always fascinating.

Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).

>>>A free kids movie, with no other rental necessary?! Why, you’d have to be some sort of monster to complain about that!

Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)

>>>For Saturday, Dennis suggests ‘Veronica Mars’ (in Feature Drama.) Following up on my review last week (in which I conceded that this high school sleuth series was almost as good as Former Videoporter Stockman has been incessantly saying it was), I neglected to mention one thing that cemented by positive reaction. In one episode, spunky heroine Veronica has procured proof, as she is wont to do, of someone’s guilt (or innocence- it’s not really important) and she presents that evidence, in the form of a DVD, to the ever-wrong, unjustly-smug sheriff. Looking kind of like an even-smirkier Seth Meyers, Sheriff Lamb then takes the DVD out of its protective case…AND IMMEDIATELY PUTS HIS FINGERS ALL OVER THE SHINY SIDE!!! Has there ever been a more succinct and eloquent demonstration that a character is a complete and utter idiot, waste of space, and all-around a-hole? I don’t think there is. I mean, think about it- who but a reprehensible, dimwitted, and completely-inconsiderate jackass would take someone else’s precious DVD and smear their fingers all over the shiny side? Only a completely-minor character destined to be ridiculed, mocked, and eventually forgotten would ever mistreat someone else’s DVD like that, right? Man, Stockman was right- this is a good show….

>>>For Sunday, Dennis suggests revisiting ‘Six Feet Under’ (in Feature Drama.) I originally bailed on this undeniably-great HBO series midway through the last season; frankly, the entire Fisher family became just too unlikeable and it bummed me out. But the lovely Ms. Emily S. Customer and I just dove back in and on second viewing, even though the Nate-and-Brenda saga still got on my nerves, I gotta say I think it holds together better than I thought. And, if that last episode doesn’t rip your heart out [in a completely original way], then you’re a robot walking among us, and should be captured and studied.

The Videoport Guide to Renting the Golden Globe Winners

Look for:

-Best Comedy Series- “Modern Family” (in Comedy)

-Best Supporting Actress- Octavia Spencer for The Help (in Drama)

-Best Screenplay- Midnight in Paris (in Drama)

-Best Supporting Actor (TV)- Peter Dinklage for “Game of Thrones” (they’ve only put out the pilot episode so far, but it’s in Sci Fi/Fantasy)

-Best Actor (Miniseries)- Idris Elba for “Luther” (in Mystery/Thriller)

-Best Actress (Miniseries)- Kate Winslet for “Mildred Pierce” (in Feature Drama)

-Best Miniseries- “Downtown Abbey” (in Feature Drama)

-Best Supporting Actor- Christopher Plummer for Beginners (in Feature Drama)

New Releases this week at Videoport: The Ides of March (it’s time for George Clooney to start training his successor in the dreamiest movie star alive category, and what better way than by bringing in Ryan Gosling to star as the idealistic political aide to the Cloon’s seemingly-high-minded presidential candidate; look for Paul Giamatti, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and Geoffrey Wright in stellar (as usual) supporting roles), Abduction (that Twilight kid who always looks sort of sweetly-simple stars in this thriller about a young guy who discovers that he may have been…wait for it…ABDUCTED as a child. Oh, and he may be some sort of spy, too.), ‘Merlin’- season 3 (check the sci fi/fantasy section for the continuing adventures of the legendary magician as a young wizard, perhaps attending some sort of wizarding academy; look for Anthony Stewart Head from ‘Buffy’ in there, too), Redline (this Japanese animated flick about a futuristic, super-dangerous race, is getting good reviews from the anime nerds/enthusiasts), Courageous (from the same company that brought you the stealth-churchy fireman movie Fireproof comes another stealth-churchy drama, this time about cops fighting bad guys, their own faiths, and, presumably, a woman’s right to choose), Gantz II (Videoport’s Sam recommends this sequel, with more insane sci fi action involving Japanese people bristling with futuristic armor; always do what Sam says), Thurgood (Laurence Fishburne stars in this biopic about the pioneering lawyer and eventual Supreme Court justice Thurgood Marshall), ‘Delocated’- seasons 1&2 (another hilarious, borderline-insane comedy series from Adult Swim, this one about a family in the witness protection program; starring comedy all-stars like Eugene Mirman and Jerry Minor), Mysteries of Lisbon (critics are falling all over themselves praising this sprawling, 4 1/2 hour epic tale of intertwining lives in 19th century Europe), Dirty Girl (1980′s-set dramedy about the titular high school girl with a bad rep and a closeted boy she befriends in remedial class who set out on a road trip to escape the various prejudices besetting them in Norman, Oklahoma; costarring William H. Macy), Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (poor Nick Swardson’s attempt to launch his career as a comic leading man [instead of just a wacky supporting player in things like 'Reno:911' or 30 Minutes or Less] seems to have hit, shall we say, a little speed bump; this comedy about a wannabe porn star with a really small penis has received the worst reviews of any movie this year, including a nearly unprecedented 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.com. Ouch), Game of Thrones- Episode 1: Winter Is Coming (don’t get too excited- only the polit episode for this totally-awesome HBO sword and sorcery series is being released now; look for the rest in March), Toast (Helena Bonham Carter stars in this whimsical tale of the gastronomical coming-of-age of British culinary writer Nigel Slater), Life 2.0 (documentary about the often-obsessive escapism of the people who play the online simulation Second Life), Romeos (check Videoport’s Pride section for this love story about a young pre-op transgendered man and a gay man in Cologne, Germany.)

New Arrivals this week at Videoport: The Ugly Dachshund (Disney kept pairing Dean Jones up with every animal [or sometimes vehicle] they could think of- lions, cats, VW beetles, and here the titular weiner dog.)

New Arrivals on Blu-Ray this week at Videoport: Game of Thrones: Episode 1- Winter Is Coming, No Country for Old Men.

VideoReport #334

Volume CCCXXXIV- The Men Who Stare at Gamera

For the Week of 1/10/12

Videoport gives you a free movie every day, has the best selection anywhere, a helpful and knowledgeable staff, and is locally-owned and proud of it. Or, you know, you could wait a few days for some crappy DVD in the mail, or have one spit out of a vending machine like gum. You know, your choice…

Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)

Just because I haven't run a picture of the Buff in a while...

>>>Emily S. Customer suggests “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (in Horror.) Since your editor has [stepped up/caved in/wised up] and suggested the wry high-school mystery series “Veronica Mars” (see below), I’m going to follow suit and suggest two of my favorite high-school series. Like “Veronica Mars,” “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” takes full advantage of the broad casting and diverse problems that crop up in a community of high school kids, but unlike VM, “BtVS” manages to play on a sentiment close to the heart of many high-schoolers. Hey, kid, you’re right: high school actually is Hell. Or, y’know, built on a Hellmouth. Whichevs. It’s such a great central conceit: all the small passing dramas and tensions and humiliations seem so earth-shattering and mortally wounding to a teenager. In “BtVS,” those daily dramas are literally earth-shattering and literally mortally wounding… but they can be overcome with the support and understanding of your friends and maybe an adult mentor.

Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)

>>> Dennis suggests Monkey Business (in Classics), if only for Groucho’s line, “Oh, why can’t we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean… flee to my lodge in the hills.” You’d be surprised how often that line works…

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental OR get four non-new releases for a week for only 7 bucks!)

>>>Emily S. Customer suggests “Freaks & Geeks” (in Comedy.) ‘Freaks & Geeks’is a more realistic look

Recognize any of these kids? You pay a lot of money to watch their movies now.

at high school than either “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” or “Veronica Mars” — or any other high school show I’ve seen. Forget the Luke Perrys and Kristen Bells; there are no model-gorgeous or impossibly sophisticated teenagers here, just a believable cast of 1980s misfits and schlubs trying to fit themselves into the world somehow. Lindsay’s (Linda Cardellini) introduction is both simple and complex: she was a scholar, a Mathlete, an all-around goody-goody until a high-school-appropriate existential crisis knocked her off the straight-and-narrow college-prep track. She starts stepping outside the boundaries of her strait-laced life and looking for something more… even if that just means hanging out in the smoking area with the burnouts and the freaks. (And what a cast of future stars her new friends are: Jason Segel, James Franco, Seth Rogan.) The geeks are just as believable: Lindsay’s little brother (John Francis Daley, now on “Bones”) and his friends (Samm Levine and Martin Starr) really capture the small magic of youthful friendship, and also the daily heartbreaks of growing up. It’s a pitch-perfect show, angsty and hilarious, packed with completely believable coming-of-age drama, and with a soundtrack to match.

Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)

>>> Former Videoporter Stockman suggests The Station Agent(in Feature Drama.) I’m delighted that

Hello, Stockman...

Peter Dinklage is getting recognized for his noteworthy acting now that Game of Thrones is super hip. The Station Agent is where I first fell in love with the delightful Peter Dinklage. Who incidentally, I would like to ravish me, preferably in a field of wildflowers. That man has some serious charisma and I think I’m woman enough to handle it, preferably in a field of wildflowers. He plays a very stoic man in The Station Agent, which of course just makes me want him more because who doesn’t love being that special person to sneak past a stoic persons defenses!  In place of actually being that person, The Station Agent offers you the opportunity to at least watch that person, or people as the case may be. This movie is character driven and since the main three characters are all nuanced and awesome then all is as it should be to create an awesome movie! I find it refreshing to see a movie revolving around relationships where romance takes a back burner to friendship. The ace in the hole for this movie is the character Joe, who is as ridiculously endearing as a fluffy golden retriever puppy bringing you a squeaky toy. If the character were in Game of Thrones or something equally nerdy he would be described as “pure of heart” and could so something charming and endearing that only the pure of heart can do. It would save the day.

Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).

>>>It’s a free movie. You’ll watch it.

Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)

>>>For Saturday, Dennis suggests ‘Veronica Mars’(in Feature Drama.) Okay, okay- Former Videoporter Stockman’s relentless campaign of inter-stalking and long-distance badgering has, as ever, borne fruit.

The Buff and VM, double-handedly beating the crap out of the "dumb blonde" stereotype.

(Seriously, if she ever sets her sights on you, prepare to do her bidding.) So the lovely Ms. Emily S. Customer and I have, as ordered, started watching ‘Veronica Mars,’ the high-school-set detective series starring the tiny, spunky Kristen Bell as the tiniest, blond-est, spunkiest high-school sleuth since the legendary Buffy, slayer of vampires. And the verdict? Let’s go to the list:

1. Veronica is one of the few decent female role models on tv. (Oh wait, the show got cancelled, so not any more.) She’s smart, brave, funny, and Kristin Bell does a good job of making Veronica seem like something more than a male writer’s idea of an ideal girl.

2. I seriously can’t tell most of the supporting characters apart. Especially the blond, white ones- which is most of them. I think the writers clued into this fact, because after a while they all seem to start greeting each returning minor character by throwing in some introductory remarks: “Well, Cassidy/Jordan/Tiffany/Chad, I never thought you’d talk to me again after that time we made out/witnessed that murder/hooked up/I roofied you.” Slight exception to Jason Dohring who starts off as yet another Aryan-looking rich kid but who becomes more interesting (he has sort of a douche-y Edward Norton vibe.)

3. Kristin Bell really is good. On the surface, she, like Buffy‘s Sarah Michelle Gellar, is just another thin, pretty, blonde tv presence, but, like Gellar, Bell creates a multilayered character, and proves herself able to really knock it out of the park on occasion. Also like Gellar, I’m not particularly interested in following Bell into the movies (although she was pretty good in Forgetting Sarah Marshall), but Sam ensures me she’s really funny on Twitter, and she does have a new gig on tv alongside Don Cheadle, so those are good signs.

4. The mysteries are okay- certainly not as lazy as something like ‘Monk’ (which should be sent to remedial tv mystery camp), and Veronica is certainly a solid (and spunky) detective. Each season has an overarching big case, but that leaves plenty of time for more light-hearted ‘case of the week’ high school stuff. Sometimes the big picture seems to get lost, but it’s generally still a lot of fun.

5. The relationship between Veronica and her ex-cop detective dad Enrico Colantoni is one of the most warm and convincing father/daughter pairings ever on tv. They’re both good detectives, they compliment each others’ skills, and he’s not just there to get shown up- he’s a real dad.

6. Class Warfare! I can’t think of a ‘pop’ tv show that is more about class and justice inequality in America than this one. Veronica attends Neptune High, sun-drenched bastion of the wealthy progeny of a tony California town where literally every rich family is either evil or very susceptible to evil. The kids are all blond and smug and utterly contemptuous of the poor, the different, or, especially, the California school’s Mexican population. Veronica wends her way through this supercilious world of privilege, ferreting out one dirty, venal secret after another, and while once in a while a culprit might turn out to be not a rich douchebag, the show presents a world where the haves are mean, sneaky, contemptuous, and ruthless, and any hope of justice for the have nots rests on a particular pair of blonde, birdy shoulders.

7. The creators of the show went on to create ‘Party Down’ (which is one of the funniest shows you’ll ever see, by the way), and it’s fun to spot all the crossovers of talented people like Ken Marino, Jane Lynch, Colantoni, Steve Gutenberg, Ryan Hansen, Adam Scott, and Bell herself. Plus, VM drew in people from other cool tv universes, like ‘Freaks and Geeks’, ‘The State,’ ‘The Wire’ and the Buffyverse. All the cool kids wanted to come over and play.

8. Always do what Stockman says. Seriously.

>>>For Sunday, Various Videoporters chime in with some recommendations via our Facebook page “Videoport Jones!”

-Sam Z. says, “Both Zodiac and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo were about forty minutes too long. It only worked for Zodiac.” He also adds, “Here’s my four-word review of VideoPort: “Sadly unavailable in Philadelphia.” To which we reply, it’s your fault for moving, dude.”

-Kimmy W. chimes in with “Contagion is great! Salvation Boulevard is great movie too!” Look for Contagion in the Mystery/Thriller section. Look for Salvation Boulevard when it comes out, TBA.

New Releases this week at Videoport: Moneyball (like with The Social Network, you don’t have to care about the subject itself [baseball in this case] to really enjoy this drama about the way Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane revolutionized the way underfunded baseball teams

I know Steve Buscemi's the star of 'Boardwalk Empire,' but I just miss Omar...

evaluated players; Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill and Philip Seymour Hoffman all do great work), ‘Boardwalk Empire’- season 1 (Steve Buscemi stars in this HBO series about the natty crimelord of Atlantic City’s Prohibition-era shenanigans; costarring Michael Pitt, Kelly Macdonald, and ‘The Wire’s’ own Omar Little,

That is some serious grizzling...

Michael K. Williams), Killer Elite (screen tough guy triumvirate Robert DeNiro, Clive Owen and Jason Statham get all weaponed up for this action-packed tale of hired spies/assassins out for revenge and so forth), What’s Your Number? (Anna Faris decides Cosmo has something to teach her and revisits all of the 19 guys she’s slept with in this rom-com that Videoport’s Regan swears is slightly better than it looks; at some point, Ana Faris should try starring in movies that don’t have to be described that way…), The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption (let’s see if I can get this right…this is the second sequel to a spinoff from a sequel- is that right? Man…anyway, it’s got Ron Perlman and Billy Zane in it, so that’s…something…),‘An Idiot Abroad’-

Carl, and his tormentors.

season 1 (okay, first, rent the hilarious ‘The Ricky Gervais Show’ in the Comedy section. Done? Now check out this live action series about the travelogue adventures of Gervais’ podcast sidekick, the bewilderingly-uncurious Kark Pilkington; either this guy is completely bereft of all human joy and emotion or he’s engaging in a lifelong put-on that makes Andy Kaufman look like Carot Top), There Be Dragons (director Roland Joffe [The Killing Fields] attempts a comeback with this similarly-wrenching historical drama about a journalist delving into the deep, dark secrets of his father during the Spanish Civil War), Higher Ground (Vera Farmiga [The Departed] directs and stars in this drama about a woman whose spiritual crisis causes a stir in her tight-knit religious community), The Electric Daisy Carnival Experience (documentary about the most prestigious electronic music festival in the world), Saving Private Perez (delightfully-insane Mexican film about a ragtag gang of Mexican desperadoes banding together to free a drug lord’s brother form and Iraqi prison), 1911 (Jackie Chan starts acting his age, directing and starring in this historical epic about the overthrow of the last Chinese dynasty and the founding of modern China; I am told he does not kick very many people…), Protektor (from the Film Movement people [look for the Film Movement shelf in the staff picks section!] comes this WWII drama about a Czech radio worker who broadcasts Nazi propaganda in order to try and protect his Jewish wife…in a well thought-out plan…), Sinners and Saints (there’s a serial killer and a gang war tearing up New Orleans, and only the ridiculously-named Johnny Strong can save it, along with a truly weird gang of costars including Tom Berenger, Method Man, Jurgen Prochnow, the guy from the Boondock Saints, and that chick who played a Vulcan), Younger Next Year: The New Science of Aging (documentary about, well, you read the title…), ‘Through the Wormhole’- seasons 1&2 (Morgan Freeman’s mellifluous tones lead us gently into the world of theoretical physics in this science documentary series), Puncture (Captain America himself, Chris Evans, stars as a drug-addicted young lawyer trying to uncover some medical shenanigans whilst keeping it together in this true story), ‘Eureka’- season 4 (the sci fi series about a tiny town where the government stores all its mad scientists continues), Frontline: Lost in Detention (you know how our country detains people without probable cause in direct defience of all those pesky principles we supposedly hold dear? Yeah…)

New Arrivals this week at Videoport: Design for Living (the Criterion Collection gives the deluxe DVD treatment to this ahead-of-its-time 1933 film about an independent woman [Miriam Hopkins] who, unable to decide between Frederic March and Gary Cooper, invites them all to live together…in the same house!!! In 1933!!), Intruder in the Dust (based on the William Faulkner novel, this To Kill a Mockingbird-esque drama is about two teenaged boys and an elderly woman banding together to bring a black man’s wrongful conviction to light; look for it in Videoport’s Classics section), Creator (this largely-forgotten 80′s comedy about an eccentric professor out to bring his dead wife back to life is well worth your time for Peter O’Toole’s magnificent lead performance; look for a review in next week’s VideoReport to convince you), The Hellstrom Chronicle (like bugs? Well check out this 1971 documentary wherein a scientist explains how, if bugs ever got their act together, they could totally take over the world and eat us and stuff…), Marley & Me: The Puppy Years (all the cute dog stuff of Marley & Me- none of that pesky dog death!), Bratz Passion 4: Fashion Diamondz (will your child be taken away by the state of you rent this for him/her? Let’s find out…)

New Arrivals on Blu-Ray this week at Videoport: Apollo 18, Final Destination 5, Moneyball, Higher Ground, ‘Boardwalk Empire’- season 1, Killer Elite, Contagion, Scarface, The Guard, Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, Shark Night.

Andy’s Top 10 of 2011:

1. Insidious

2. The Social Network

3. Warrior

4. Louis C.K.: Hilarious

5. The Debt

6. Cave of Forgotten Dreams

7. Rabbit Hole

8. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

9. The Fighter

10. Red State

Regan Eldridge’s List of My Most Favoritest of 2011

-Barney’s Version. I laughed. I cried. Sam cried more.

-Dogtooth. Unforgettable.

-The Other Guys. If it came down to which movie I’ve seen most in 2011, it would be this one. 50% of you will hate it.

Regan’s Really Terrible S**t of 2011

-Due Date

-You Again

-Any Adam Sandler movie

Any Katherine Heigl movie

VideoReport #333

Volume CCCXXXIII- 2012: The Year the World Ends (According to Very, Very Gullible People)

For the Week of 1/3/11

Videoport says thanks to everyone who supported us in 2011. Now let’s kick 2012 in the butt! (In a movie-renting sense…)

Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)

>>>April suggests April suggests Clue (in Mystery/Thriller.) Because it’s fun. No, really. I swear to you that it’s an entertaining film. I mean it’s got Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, and Martin Mull, how could it not be fun? Sure it’s based on a board game. Okay. I know! People running around screaming and killing each other. None of the three possible endings make any sense. And why does it need three endings anyway? It’s a silly movie but I really love it. Was it the butler in the kitchen with the candlestick? I’m not bothered. “Well, it’s a matter of life after death. Now that he’s dead, I have a life.”

Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)

>>>Dennis suggests Once Upon a Time in the West(in Action/Adventure.) By this point in the life

A train station you could land a jet in.

of the ‘spaghetti Western’ genre, the idea of the American Old West had mutated into something utterly its own. Sure, the reality of the Old West were already magnified, distorted, and myth-ified by decades upon decades of American Westerns, but when the Italians got a hold of it, that place might as well have been on Mars. I’m not complaining- I imagine the real Old West (like most of all reality) would make for very dull movies unless it was suitably jazzed up with gunfights and saloon girls and such, and, through the eyes of lunatic directors in a country thousands of miles away who really only knew about the West from our already-goofy version of it , that place became delightfully-goofy. (Watch the documentary The Spaghetti West in Videoport’s Documentary Arts section to see how out there the genre became.) But no one ever made better use of this odd little genre than Sergio Leone, who introduced Clint Eastwood to the world (in A Fistful of Dollars, etc), but it’s in his later Once Upon a Time in the West, that Leone created the purest example of the mythological Spaghetti West. Just look at the opening scene, a bravura, wordless sequence of three impossibly-grizzled hitmen (including genre icons Woody Strode

Woody Strode, from the opening scene. (And just because Woody Strode is cool.)

and Jack Elam) impassively passing time waiting for a train to arrive; it’s an audacious, witty beginning, leading to the arrival of the legendary Charles Bronson (who may be the most-grizzled man in human history.) He’s a nearly-silent gunfighter in town to exact some mythic revenge against Henry Fonda’s mythically-evil criminal mastermind, and he teams up, reluctantly, with beardily-grizzled Jason Robards, a cynical older gunfighter. Claudia Cardinale is in there too, with her mythically-not-grizzled boobs seemingly the only soft objects in the gritty, pointy West. Streets are wind-swept and seemingly a football field wide. Closeups reveal grime-encrusted pores like dirty thimbles. It’s the apotheosis of the traditional movie Western- really, they should have just shut the genre down after this…

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental…OR…get 4 movies for 7 days for 7 bucks!)                                                                                                                                                     >>>Dennis suggests Gate of Flesh (in Foreign Language/the Criterion Collection.) Seijun Suzuki is the very model of a cult director. 1. Just look at his titles: Branded to Kill, Tokyo Drifter, Youth of the Beast, Pistol Opera, Tattooed Life, Detective Bureau 2-3: Go to Hell Bastards, Fighting Elegy, and of course, Gate of Flesh. They’re so lurid, your eye practically transforms them into pulp novels or comic books as you read them, but also so evocative that you can’t but pick them up. 2. As his titles suggest, Suzuki worked almost exclusively in ‘genre films’ which is a genteel term people use when they don’t want to admit that they like watching sleaze, violence, and, you know, titillating stuff like that. 3. He worked repeatedly with a stable of actors, most recognizably chipmunk-cheeked leading man Jo Shishido (whose catcher’s mitt-style face was, as Videoport’s Jackie and Andy schooled me recently, the result of his intentional attempt to surgically make himself seem more “western”, and makes me question his judgement and/or sanity.) 4. Like the best cult directors, Suzuki’s sex and violence-ful thrillers often act as stealth delivery devices for surprisingly-resonant themes; it’s like his titles-you’re lured in by the attention-grabbing promise of sleaze, and then you realize there music in them. Gate of Flesh is a perfect example of the Suzuki package. You don’t have to be Freud to connect the title to the film’s quartet of prostitute protagonists. Likewise, the action of the film, centering on the daily grind (so to speak) of four women banding together to stay alive in the lawless, wanton chaos of post-war Japan is shot with an eye towards making absolutely everything and everyone as earthy, and physically-animalistic as possible. The four women helpfully dress in the same day-glo-colored dresses as they ply their trade, and everyone is covered in a slick sheen (of makeup, of sweat, occasionally of blood) that

He stores his extra manliness in there.

you can practically see dripping off onto each other. As the quartet, squatting in the ruins of a bombed out house, screw, cheat, steal, and bully their way through each day’s ordeal of sex, and food, and danger, they seem to embody the spirit of hustling, amoral, post-war Japan, and the arrival of Shishedo, a piggish balck-marketeer, only serves to amp up the sex, violence, and betrayal. And sweat. Rarely seen without a mouthful of food, booze, or woman parts, Shishedo’s hunky (if chupmunk-y) drifter explains that, after the war, all he’s interested in is food and sex, appetites he indulges lustily, whether it’s with one (or more) of the ladies, or with a purloined cow (brutally and graphically slaughtered and consumed onscreen.) Practically the embodiment of earthy, uncomplicated want, Shishedo’s drifter throws the prostitutes’ solidarity all out of whack, turning them against each other and turning their formerly-united contempt of the world (and men) unnervingly against each other (I’m especially terrified by the little, heavy-set one, with the girly giggles and crazy eyes.) It’s a lurid little melodrama, sure, but it’s also gorgeously, and thoughtfully, shot, with Suzuki alternating weird little flights of fancy with the grime or reality. Plus, it’s very interesting, and sobering, to see how a Japanese director, shooting just 19 years after the end of WWII, portrays the American victors. Apart from the fact that the Japanese people, in the aftermath of crushing defeat, are shown a as desperate, degraded ruin of a civilization, the American occupiers are portrayed as much, much worse. Callously-indifferent (or even hostile) to the Japanese, American servicemen, in Gate of Flesh, are a casually-cruel army of exploiters, buying women (or raping them), and, in one especially, telling (and gag-inducing) scene, seasoning the vats of free stew they ship tot he ghetto with used rubbers. I was especially tickled by hearing the Americans’ dialogue sound exactly as dubbed and tossed-off sounding as “foreigners” often sound in American movies of the period. It’s all just a crude jabber of come-ons, expletives, and abuse, with the American flag flapping into frame every once in a while to remind us that , in the hands of a “cult director”, anger is pretty potent.

Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)                                                                                                                                                   >>>Emily S. Customer suggests Six Feet Under (in Feature Drama.) Your faithful editor and I been re-watching “Six Feet Under”from the beginning and it. is. SO GOOD, YOU GUYS. The show takes

Dexter and a guy who should have much more work.

place in and around Fisher & Sons Funeral Home, where the Fisher family works and lives; turns out it’s called a funeral home for a reason. Obviously, it grapples daily and deeply with loss and grief, but the lives of the Fishers, their colleagues, and friends weave a poignant, sad, hilarious tapestry of drama. And it’s so much fun to watch these powerhouse actors all mesh together. Check it out, y’all: Michael C. Hall (“Dexter”), Frances Conroy (who was nominated for four Emmys and won a Golden Globe and three SAG awards), Richard Jenkins (a classic “That Guy!” whom you’ll recognize immediately), Peter Krause (“Sports Night,” “Dirty Sexy Money”), Lauren Ambrose (“Torchwood”), Mathew St. Patrick (whose powerful, sensitive performance on SFU should get him more attention and roles than his IMDb page suggests), Freddy Rodriguez (Planet Terror, “Chaos”), and Rachel Griffiths (Muriel’s Wedding, “Brothers and Sisters”), and Jeremy Sisto (May, “Kidnapped”). Phew! And that’s just the main characters! Secondary characters and guest stars tend to be classic actors’-actors, including Ed Begley, Jr., Particia Clarkson, Ben Foster, Lili Taylor, Rainn Wilson, Kathy Bates, James Cromwell, Chris Messina, and Justin Theroux.

>>>April suggests ‘Wonders of the Universe’(in the Documentary section,) while Videoport

So, April loves me. Bob, not so much...

customer Bob H. suggests that you definitely do NOT watch ‘Wonders of the Universe’ (in the Documentary section.) April says: “I’m so excited that we have this! Presented by Professor Brian Cox who is the most handsome scientist on TV! Tell people to watch it!” Bob rebuts, “This documentary is so hideously unwatchable, it’s the visual equivalent of one of William Slavick’s “Letters to the editor.” I would rather sit in my basement listening to Kurt Cobain and polishing my shotgun after drinking a fifth of tequila than ever see more than six seconds of this video ever again. It should come with an IV drip of RedBull, and some adrenochrome. Like being tied to a chair and ticked with a brick by angry midgets bad.” So whom should you listen to? Well, I think the only rational response is to rent the series and make up your own mind. Which means, of course, that we get paid. I love film-geek fights…                                                                                                                                Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).                                                                                                                                                            >>>You get a free kids movie every Friday and you don’t have to rent anything else to get it. So we like kids, so what?    

Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)                                                                                                                                                                 >>>For Saturday, April suggests Harold and Maude (in Comedy) Because it’s time for you to watch it again. Or watch it for the first time. Sorry we keep name dropping John Waters but we’re just still super excited that we got to meet him and gee he’s a swell guy, but anyway, he mentioned gerontophilia (google’d it) which is the sexual attraction to the elderly and it made me think of this film. Ruth Gordon is one sexy old lady. Bud Cort being all emo before emo was a thing. Yeah, you really should rent it. “Harold, everyone has the right to make an ass out of themselves.”                                                      >>>For Sunday, Emily S. Customer suggests Greg the Bunny (in Comedy.) What is with the puppet marginalization on TV? Plenty of child-oriented programming embraces the philosophy of diversity and mutual tolerance, mingling cultures on “Sesame Street,” “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood,” and “The Muppet Show.” If only more adult shows upheld the same standards of of equality. Enter IFC original series “Greg the Bunny,” which — make no mistake! — is most definitely adult. “Greg the Bunny” follows the exploits of (take a guess?) Greg the Bunny, an actor and singer who stars on children’s program “Sweetknuckle Junction.” Greg and his fellow performers of Fabricated-American descent find themselves often find themselves at odds with their human colleagues (including Seth Green, Eugene Levy, and Sarah Silverman), and with good reason: the puppets Fabricated Americans are disenfranchised, alienated, and systematically discriminated against and condescended to by their meat-and-bone colleagues.

New Releases this week at Videoport: ‘Justified’- Season 2(Timothy Olyphant brings his

He will totally Justify you...

trademark growly voice and manly squint to this continuing tale of a modern-day cowboy sheriff in the coal mountain country of Kentucky), Contagion (Steven Soderbergh directs this edge-of-your-seat-type thriller about the outbreak of one of those serious, gonna kill everybody, diseases; celebrity snifflers include Matt Damon, Kate Winslet, Jude Law, and Gwyneth Paltrow), I Am (Tom Shadyac, director of the likes of Bruce Almighty, documents his decision to drop out of the Hollywood scene and search for spiritual enlightenment; does the guy responsible for Patch Adams have anything to teach you? Rent it and see…), I Don’t Know How She Does It (Sarah Jessica Parker plays a rich, white wife and mother whose attempts to balance her perfect family with her high-paying new job makes her a hero somehow…), The Guard(ever-cool guys Brendan Gleeson and

Two of the coolest acotrs in the world? I'm in...

Don Cheadle pair up in this Irish cop thriller about a gruff Galway cop and a no-nonsense FBI agent vs. drug-smugglers), Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (I don’t want to argue with producer Gullermo Del Toro, but I’d suggest that the title of this nifty horror remake is baaaad advice…), Mildred Pierce (Kate Winslet takes over from Joan Crawford as the titular self-sacrificing mom whose scrambling attempts to ensure her family’s illusion of wealth turn her sheltered daughter into a snobby monster; HBO miniseries was directed by Todd Haynes [I'm Not There, Velvet Goldmine, Poison, Safe]), Shark Night (at least when they remade Piranha, they had the good taste to raunch it up; this PG13 ‘horror’ flick about shark eating no one of any consequence begs the question, ‘why bother?’)

Videoporters’ The Best/Worst DVDs of 2011 (2nd edition)

Former Videoporter Dennis2/The Rage’s Best of 2011

10. Bridesmaids

9. Super 8

8. Tree of Life

7. Another Year

6. 13 Assassins

5. Get Low

4. Let Me In

3. Hanna

2. ‘Luther’- season 2

1. Incendies

Dennis2/The Rage’s Worst of 2011

The Adjustment Bureau

Unknown

Sharktopus

Battle: Los Angeles

Rubber

Somewhere

Skyline

Get free money at Videoport!

$20 paid on your Videoport account gets you $25 worth of rental credit! $30 gets you $40 worth! Free money!!! Yeah!!!

Write for the VideoReport!

Sens in your reviews to denmn@hotmail.com or our Facebook page “Videoport Jones!” Yeahhhh!!

VideoReport #332

Volume CCCXXXII- New Year’s Evil

For the Week of 12/27/11

Videoport thanks all of you out there in Videoport-land for supporting us (as opposed to some soulless internet concern or ridiculous vending machine) throughout 2011. We love ya’, and we’re going to continue to rock your world in 2012, cinematically-speaking.

Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)

>>> Emily S. Customer suggests ‘Futurama’ (in Animation.) It’s New Year’s Eve 1999 and schlubby Philip J. Fry is still at work delivering pizzas. Just after midnight, Fry stumbles onto a cryogenics lab — and into a cryogenic chamber! — and awakens in THE WORLD OF TOMORROW! The New York City of 3000 would be befuddling to even the brightest of contemporary minds, but Fry is pretty dimwitted to begin with, so the suicide booths, pneumatic transit, autonomous robots, and all the owls spin his head pretty hard. Fortunately, Fry tracks down a distant descendant to sponge off, because The Future is hard, y’all.

Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.) >>>Dennis suggests Ms. 45 (in Action Adventure.) You want grit? I’ll give you grit. This 1981 urban crime thriller was one of the first films of perennial out-of-the-mainstream New York auteur Abel Ferrara, who went on to entertain and unnerve an increasingly-small cult of fans of his violent, intense, and, yeah, gritty indie movies like The Funeral, The Blackout, King of New York, Bad Lieutenant, The Addiction, ‘R Xmas, New Rose Hotel and others you haven’t heard of. In this one, a mute, poor NYC seamstress has, let’s just say, a really bad day; raped by a creep in an alley, she stumbles home to her terrible apartment, only to find an a-hole robbing her; guess what he does then… Yeah. So, after dispatching her second-in-a-day attacker, our heroine (played with surprising intensity by Nastassja Kinski lookalike Zoe Lund), let’s just say, snaps and takes to the streets in an ever-escalating rampage of revenge against the scummiest men of New York City (which means they’re the scummiest men in the history of the world.) Sure it sounds like crass exploitation (and it sorta is), but in Ferrara’s hands, the movie takes on a weird depth; unlike the unabashedly-fascist contemporary vigilante thrillers like Dirty Harry, Walking Tall, or any of the Death Wishes, Ms. 45 attains a mysterious, and disturbing, intensity as the eerily-beautiful Lund (whose career equally-mysteriously petered out) drifts further and further into man-hating madness. The finale, set at a decadent costume party where Lund wreaks havoc as a sexy, pistol-packing nun, is something you’re not going to forget, either.

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental…OR…get 4 movies for 7 days for 7 bucks!)                                                                                                                                                        >>>Videoport customer Jog recommends, if I’m reading this correctly, that you do not watch Horrible Bosses (in Comedy), saying, “Horrible Bosses is a horrible movie.” I’m almost certain that’s what she’s getting at…

Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)            >>>Emily S. Customer suggests ‘The Office Christmas Special’ (in British Comedy.) The chummy warmth of the (deservedly beloved) U.S. remake fuzzied my memory of the (also deservedly beloved) original series. “The Office”(U.K.) is best described with the kinds of adjectives you’d normally associate with

No, David Brent! NO!

poisoned wine: acid, acrid, caustic, dry. Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant push past “cringe comedy” and straight into social-anxiety-disorder territory. Things I said aloud while watching “The Office Christmas Special”: “NO, David Brent, no!”; “Augh, my upper lip is sweating”; “It’s like being trapped in an elevator”; “Oh no, I’m sweating all over!”; “This is too hard! (That’s what she said.)” And that’s just the first half; for the second half, I was mostly just watching silently, my hands kneading a sofa cushion in mixed frustration, anxiety, and amusement. At one point I rose and kicked the sofa. NO, David Brent, NO!

Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).                                                                                                                                                    >>>Dennis suggests MUPPETS! Seriously, guys, with the new, Jason Segel-directed Muppet revival movie reminding everyone why we loved these puppet-y oddballs in the first place, why not check out seasons of ‘The Muppet Show,’ or any of the three original Muppet movies (The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, or The Muppets Take Manhattan.) You should probably avoid all other, post-Jim Henson aux-Muppet imposters. Although The Muppet Christmas Carol wasn’t too bad, and they actually found a way to make the insufferable Robin the frog reasonably sufferable.                                                    Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)                                                                                                                                >>>For Saturday, Dennis suggests The Black Power Mix Tape 1967-1975 (in Documentary.) This documentary begins with the disclaimer: “This films consists of footage shot by Swedish reporters 1967-1975. It does not presume to tell the whole story of the Black Power Movement, but to show how it was perceived by some Swedish filmmakers.” That unique perspective on this endlessly-fascinating (and endlessly-documented) era in American history lends the film’s examination of the flowering and tumultuous growth of the Black Power movement an added level of interest for viewers who think they’ve seen and heard it all. It’s, of course, embarrassing (but hardly surprising) that foreign journalists were able to provide a more insightful picture of the civil rights movement than the contemporary US media; “outsiders,” while necessarily prone to ask naive questions, are also less likely to overlook facts and ideas based on cultural prejudices. As contemporary scholar Robin Kelley explains in one of the film’s voice overs, the Swedish reporting, “is even more fascinating because there’s a sense of innocence…and a global perspective.” That outsider’s perspective is evident in the film as the collected interviews give more attention to activists whose legacies, when compared to those of Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, have faded somewhat. More militant and forthrightly-revolutionary leaders such as Stokely Carmichael, Angela Davis, and Eldridge Cleaver, whose agendas went beyond the initial (and more palatable to middle America) demonstrations of Dr. King into more radical and threatening calls for economic and political revolution, are given time to express their ideas by crews from Socialist Sweden. And it’s interesting to see how black interviewees seem more willing to open up to white journalists from outside their own country. For viewers skeptical of the entertainment value of message-driven documentaries, “The Black Power Mix Tape” provides a mixed bag. On the plus side, the film casts light on some oft-ignored events in the civil rights movement, such as the Attica prison riot, Cleaver being given sanctuary (and a Black Panther embassy) by newly-independent Algeria, and the still-defiant Angela Davis’ trial (literally for her life) against California governor Ronald Reagan. The titular “mix tape” idea is apt- the film traces the history of the Black Power movement through an overlapping sequence of interviews, voice-overs, filmed footage, and judicious use of period and original music from Questlove. Not a comprehensive history so much as an effectively-impressionistic patchwork which gradually creates a compelling portrait. On the minus side, the film loses focus as the years roll on, with more generic footage and a dearth of latter-day charismatic spokespeople perhaps explainable by the fact that, as the fight ground on, many of those leaders ended up dead or jailed, or, as the film contends, derailed by the scourge of drugs that essentially crippled a generation. As to a final message, “The Black Power Mix Tape” seems to hold hope that, by keeping alive the lessons and teachers of the past on films, a new generation will be inspired to fight for justice. Mentioning “the 1%” by name, activist Sonia Sanchez urges everyone to fight the good fight for social and economic justice, noting, “the reward is knowing that when you die, there’s a better world for your children. This is a lifetime job.”                                                >>>For Sunday, Emily S. Customer suggests ‘Peep Show’ (in British Comedy.) Following the too-mundane-to-call-adventurous adventures of Croyden flatmates Mark (David Mitchell) and Jeremy (Robert Webb), Peep Showis the longest-running Channel $ sitcom evvvvvvvver, which is kinda hard to

Oh man, they can hear what's in my head, can't they?

believe until you get a few episodes under your belt and realize how addictive it is to spend time with these two horrible wankers. The show employs plenty of POV shots and stream-of-consciousness narrating tracks to get us right inside their heads. Hearing the appalling interior monologues of these two averagely-repulsive people proves to be surprisingly appealing, which suggests to me that I might be averagely-repulsive and utterly appalling. If maybe it’s slowly dawning on you that you’re averagely-repulsive and utterly appalling too — well, um, sorry for that revelation, and also… enjoy!

New Releases this week at Videoport: ‘Archer’- season 2 (one of the best shows on tv, this rude, hilarious animated spy series about the douche-iest secret agent in the world [voiced by the brilliant Jon Benjamin] is back for more completely-inappropriate laughs), Apollo 18 (“One small step for man, one giant leap for OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?!??” should have been the tag line for this low-budget Blair Witchis

A three-toed reason...

space moon landing horror flick about that one NASA mission that nobody talks about…), ‘The Borgias’- season 1 (after ‘The Tudors‘ whetted everyone’s appetite for Brits in pantaloons being all evil and sexy, here comes Jeremy Irons as the legendarily-twisted head of the titular Italian political family; an alternative title: “Sex Pope!”), ‘Shameless’- season 1 (ever-engaging William H. Macy stars in this remake of the BBC series [available in the British Comedy section] about a gleefully-white-trashy family; costarring the equally-ever-reliable Joan Cusack), The Black Power Mix Tape (if you missed this unique documentary when it played at SPACE Gallery recently, then check out the Saturday review for the details), Pete Smalls Is Dead (director Alexandre Rockwell [In the Soup, 1/4 of Four Rooms] was once poised to be the next big indie director; he didn’t make it, but he’s called in some of his previous indie actor pals who did [like Peter Dinklage, Rosie Perez, Steve Buscemi, Seymour Cassel and others] to spice up his new film about a normal guy [Dinklage] embarking on an absurdly-convoluted adventure to get his kidnapped dog back), ‘The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret’ (hip comedy god David Cross created this cringe-comedy series about a hapless compulsive liar sent to London to peddle energy drinks; look for Cross’ ‘Arrested Development‘ pal Will Arnett, too), Love Crime (French language-resurgent Kristin Scott Thomas stars in this thriller about an executive who realizes that her young assistant’s (Ludivine Sagnier) ideas are well worth stealing), In the Name of the King 2: Two Worlds (professional ‘worst director in the world’ Uwe Boll has created a sequel to a movie everyone hated based on a fantasy video game series; I’m just gonna let those facts sink in to your brain…), Hostel 3 (sure, there’s some social satire flying around alongside the body parts in the Hostel films, but this second sequel coming out direct-to-DVD and not being directed by Eli Roth may not be the best of signs…), Brighton Rock(based on the Graham Greene novel, this thriller follows the disturbing tale of a violent thug whose marriage to a witness of one of his crimes is predictably upsetting; costarring

See? They're subtly implying it's like 'The Hangover." Do you get it?

Helen Mirren and John Hurt), A Good Old Fashioned Orgy (funny dudes Jason Sudekis and Tyler Labine star as a couple of regular guys trying to spice their lives up by organizing the titular sex-for-all featuring the likes of David Koechner, Nick Kroll, Leslie Bibb, Will Forte, Martin Starr, Alan Tudyk and other saucy comedy types…), Damnationland 2011 (the second annual compilation of Maine-made short horror films [organized by former Videoporter Allen Baldwin] comes to DVD to blow…your…mind…), Final Destination 5 (why mess with a successful formula? Blandly-pretty twenty-somethings cheat death in a freak accident, then get knocked off in increasingly-Mousetrap-style Rube-Goldbergian freak accidents,) Bunny & the Bull (Videoport’s April loves this British comedy about an agoraphobic guy who relives a European vacation through the souvenirs arranged in his apartment; see her ‘best of 2011′ list in this here newsletter!)

New Arrivals on Blu Ray this week at Videoport: Final Destination 5, Apollo 18 Mission Impossible, Mission Impossible 3.

Videoporters’ The Best/Worst DVDs of 2011 (1st edition)

April’s Best

-’The Ricky Gervais Show’- seasons 1&2. I own two of Karl Pilkington’s books. He’s amazing.

-The Fighter. Do I really have to say anything? It was good.

-I Love You, Philip Morris. Jim Carrey is good. Sweet. Funny.

-’Wonders of the Universe.” Cool documentary presented by the handsome professor Brian Cox (not the actor Brian Cox.)

-Rabbit Hole. Directed by that guy who did Hedwig and the Angry Inch.

-The Trip. Two names. Steve Coogan. Rob Brydon. Brilliant.

-Bunny & the Bull. This came out in 2009 but we didn’t get a copy ’til I donated mine to the store. That counts, right?

-Public Speaking. Fran Lebowitz is great.

Dennis’ Best (in order of 2011 release)

-The Social Network

-Louis CK: Hilarious

-The Freebie

-Dogtooth

-Get Low

-The Fighter

-Canvasman

-I Saw the Devil

-True Grit

-Marwencol

-Cedar Rapids

-Everything Must Go

-The Big Uneasy

-Amer

-Turkey Bowl

-Tabloid

-Bridesmaids

-Win Win

Dennis’ Best TV on DVD of 2011: The Ricky Gervais Show (seasons 1&2), The League (seasons 1&2), Mad Men (season 4), Community (season 2), The Office (season 7), Parks & Recreation (season 3), Children’s Hospital, 30 Rock (season 5), Portlandia (season 1.)

Dennis’ Worst of 2011

(of stuff I actually saw- I just don’t have time anymore to watch things I know will suck, generally, so these are mostly things I was really disappointed in…)

-My Soul to Take (Wes Craven never really had it, and now he’s lost it)

-You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (everybody loves Woody Allen again, but this 2011 release was the worst movie he’s ever made, with a final plot “twist” that would have been gently discouraged by a sophomore Creative Writing teacher)

-’Kids in the Hall- Death Comes to Town’ (love the Kids, but this reunion miniseries is just not memorable; sorry [said with a Canadian accent])

-Black Swan (yeah, I said it; Natalie Portman is the most overrated actress in the world [other candidates: Halle Berry, Charlize Theron])

-The Green Hornet (I still like Seth Rogen, but this misbegotten superhero movie catered to his worst instincts)

-Green Lantern (not a good year for superheroes of this hue)

-Hall Pass (the Farrelly brothers had it for about a year, but it’s long, long gone; could you have the characters explain the concept of a “hall pass” one more time, guys?)

-Unknown (love Liam Neeson, but silly premise, dumb twist, and January Jones might actually be a robot)

-Vanishing on 7th St. (director Brad Anderson made the excellent horror movie Session 9; it may have been a fluke)

-Bloodrayne 3: The Third Reich (it’s Uwe Boll- I just couldn’t help myself…)

-Paul (not a bad movie, really; but considering that Simon Pegg and Nick Frost made it, this stoner alien comedy was a massive disappointment; also, again it brought out the worst in Seth Rogen)

-Your Highness (this is a bad movie; usually reliable guys like James Franco, Danny McBride and director David Gordon Green put their heads together and came up with the laziest, lamest, limpest comedy of the year; and, oh yeah, Natalie Portman’s in it, too…)