Volume CCXXI- How I Met Your Mothra
For the Week of 11/10/09
Videoport thinks that fully 47% of you are wonderful. But you all may have a free movie every day. Because we at Videoport believe that everyone should have the same rights. To a free movie. And other things…
Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)
>>> Dennis suggests Graveyard Shift (in Horror). The lovely Mrs. Elsa S. Customer and I have been catching up on our crappy horror movies lately. Why do I mention that in connection with this Maine-set 80s Stephen King adaptation? Umm… This one has sort of a legendary reputation of wretchedness which had kept me away for a long time, which is weird, because I actively seek out bad horror movies in my free time. Well, we decided it was about time and there were some admittedly minor points of interest: the ever-welcome Brad Dourif* is on hand, hamming it up with customary glee as a psychotic Vietnam vet/ exterminator, it was actually (unlike most King adaptations) filmed in Maine (Bangor, Brewer, and Harmony, to be exact), and, well, that was it, really. The story of an ancient, run-down textile mill that is basically OSHA’s worst nightmare, dilapidated and swarming with rats! Rats!! They’re actually pretty cute, but there’s a big, rubbery, blubbery thing down in the bowels of the place that keeps killing off sweaty workers (which no one seems to notice, even though there are only about twenty people in the town). There’s an evil boss (Stephen Macht’s Maine accent is easily the most fascinating thing in the film), some completely-unmotivated character turns, and, um…yeah, it sucks, although perhaps slightly less (maybe 12%) than advertised, but still… yeah, it’s terrible.
*Editor’s note: Brad Dourif’s career is really strange. He started off like gangbusters, with an Oscar nomination for playing Billy Bibbitt in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and then, after exactly one high-profile lead (in John Huston’s fascinating, underrated Wise Blood- available in Videoport’s Criterion section), he has worked tirelessly, and almost exclusively, playing over-the-top weirdos, bug-eyed psychos, and, well, cuckoos in low-budget genre films. And, unlike some actors who fall to that sort of role because that’s the true level of their talent, Dourif is always great. Look at (mostly awful) movies like Exorcist III, Dune, Critters 4, Color of Night, Alien Resurrection, even the Chuckie movies, (and that episode of the ‘X Files’ he was in)- he never phones it in, is always in there, giving it all he’s got. And more often than not, he’s the best thing in the movie. (Even when he took a role in the biggest hit trilogy of all time, The Lord of the Rings, he was playing a squirmy weirdo… and knocking it out of the park.) His acclaim playing a slightly less-repellant guy than usual on ‘Deadwood’ hasn’t stopped him from accepting work in upcoming films titled things like Death and Cremation and Junkyard Dog. Great actor, deliberately odd career.
Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)
>>> Elsa S. Customer suggests The Terminator (in Action). The now-legendary 1984 sci-fi action flick that cemented the reputation of director-writer James Cameron and transformed a hunk of affectless Austrian meat into a bankable movie star, The Terminator is built on compellingly simple narrative tension. For heroine Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), it’s a nightmare scenario: you’re going about your everyday business, just trying to make ends meet and maybe go on a date, and suddenly you are pursued by a murderous entity (Arnold Schwarzenegger) whose only reason for existence is to destroy you. The film’s special effects reflect the low budget, and in this case, they just plain work. Let’s face it, even state-of-the-art effects from 1984 would look dated to our eyes; where Cameron relies upon low-tech, on-set effects, the film runs smoothly without jerking the viewer out of the film. (Admittedly, there are also attempts at high-tech effects here, and those look just as silly to a modern eye as you’d expect.) Much of the film’s dialogue, grown stale with repetition over the years, is refreshingly in context. Man, who knew “I’ll be back” could be so funny?
Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental.)
>>> Elsa S. Customer suggests State and Main (in Comedy). In a break from his usual heist-and-hostility routine, David Mamet brings us a movie about movies: temperamental talents, deeply hidden secrets, and the panic of production delays. The premise: the entire cast and crew of Hollywood production The Old Mill has been booted out of the small New England town where they’re filming. As the frantic director tries to hustle another town’s mayor into signing on as their new location, the clock is ticking away. And time is money, people. Writer-director David Mamet’s dialogue is pointed, clever, witty, and utterly despicable. With its quick, smart humor and characters running the range from “wretchedly angst-ridden” to “utterly vile,” State and Main feels like an Aaron Sorkin show set in Hell. William H. Macy plays director Walt Price with whiplash virtuosity, slipping effortlessly between unctuous gladhanding and vicious rants. Philip Seymour Hoffman turns in another masterful performance as the first-time screenwriter improvising like mad despite his almost total lack of confidence; Hoffman takes the sad-sack role and transcends it. Alec Baldwin delivers here one of his nastiest comic roles as the big-name movie star with a loathsome yen for underaged girls. And here’s a sneaky little in-joke: the small-town mayor (perfectly played by Charles Durning) is named George Bailey — a poke at Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life. As Mamet no doubt knows, Capra’s view of small-town life was far from the whitewashed sentimentality we celebrate in the film today. It’s a Wonderful Life gave us a glimpse of village life’s underbelly, and State and Main would like to pick up when Capra left off, plunging farther into the ghastly depths than Capra ever dreamed. With its vicious wit, its depravities, and its rapid-fire plot complications, State and Main is a screwball comedy of the darkest shade.
Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)
>>> Dennis suggests Patton Oswalt: My Weakness Is Strong (in Comedy). Reviewing a standup comedy special is usually pretty dull. I mean, apart from ‘boy this sure was funny’, there’s not a lot of places to go usually. So here are some random thought’s about this new one from hipster darling/hobbit Oswalt. He is very adept at mining laughs from seemingly absurd analogies which, upon immediate reflection, make a great deal of sense (comparing George W. Bush to sodomy demons, for example; you’ll just have to see it). He is remarkable at donning very specific comic personae; not that he’s an impressionist, he’s just very in control of his instrument/voice, and the comic effects he wants to elicit; (see his impression of himself as a fat[ter] guy and that of a startlingly well-drawn Southern bartender). He’s got some nice, Carlin-esque takes on ’serious’ issues (specifically religion in this one) where, like Carlin, he spins a very funny argument (in this case how religion came into being) which is hilarious, insightful, and makes enormous sense all at the same time. Oh, and this is really, really funny.
Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).
>>> Andy suggests Escape From the Planet of the Apes. If you’re looking for the excellent sci fi classic Planet of the Apes, you’ll find it in the Sci Fi/Fantasy section. You also find the pretty good first sequel Beneath the Planet of the Apes and Tim Burton’s dull remake in Sci Fi/ Fantasy. But when you’re done with those, I suggest you turn your attention to the Family section and check out the second, third, and fourth sequels for some fun, G-rated, if pretty violent, Apes action. The third film, Escape From the Planet of the Apes, is by far the best of these. The plot involves the apes from the first film traveling back in time to our ‘present day’ (1976) or so and trying not to mess up the future while sticking up for ape rights or something. It’s all in fun, in the same vein as Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. You can tell the producers were trying to save money by shooting on location instead of building futuristic sets. Budget problems don’t prevent Escape from being an entertaining sci fi adventure, but with the fourth (Conquest of the Planet of the Apes*) and fifth (Battle for the Planet of the Apes) films in the series, there is a noticeable step down in production value. (Still…free rental folks.)
*Editor’s note: Andy’s very right about the later films, but Conquest, which shows how the apes first rebelled against their human masters with zombie invasion-like single-mindedness really creeped me out as a kid. Creep out your kid today!
Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)
>>>For Saturday, Dennis suggests sending in your movie or TV reviews (or movie essays, best-of lists, etc) to us at the VideoReport! (So we can fill this review space with actual, you know, reviews and stuff.) Just drop them off at the store, send them to denmn@hotmail.com, or our Myspace page www.myspace.com/videoportjones or our Facebook page “Videoport Jones”! And, aw heck, while you’re on the intra-nets, why not stop in at our movie blog www.videoportjones.wordpress.com!
>>>For Sunday, Elsa S. Customer suggests Delicatessen (in Foreign Language). Vividly textured, richly ambiguous, and darkly comic, Delicatessen opens in a ramshackle tenement hazily located in a French town in some unspecified dystopian future. Food is scarce, yet the butcher shop occupying the building’s first floor never seems to feel the pinch too badly. I think you see where this is going… but the new tenant does not. His name is Louison (played by oddly charming rubber-faced actor Dominique Pinon), he’s a former circus performer, and he delights the neighborhood children with his clowning antics, which are cartoonishly impressive. Indeed, Delicatessen has a cartoonish quality that meshes weirdly but successfully with its grubby, dark setting and its gruesome premise. This is the first feature film of co-directors Marc Caro and Jean-Pierre Jeunet, who also co-directed the great City of Lost Children. Jeunet is now perhaps best known as the director of Amélie, and it’s easy to see Amélie as the indirect descendant of the grotesqueries of Delicatessen. Both films immerse themselves in a whimsically embroidered narrative built around the laborious quirks of its characters, and does so with an aplomb that magically weaves a potentially overwrought, incoherent mess into a beautifully balanced composition of humor, compassion, sorrow, and wonder.
New Releases this week at Videoport: UP (it’s the new Pixar animated film, about an old man who floats his home with a mess o’ balloons; if you watch it, it will thrill you, move you, and make you happy- so you should watch it), The Ugly Truth (Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl are a mismatched couple who may, or may not, overcome their differences and fall in love; I’m on pins and needles myself), The Merry Gentleman (Michael Keaton directs himself and No Country for Old Men’s Kelly Macdonald in this tale of a troubled young woman who falls in love with a troubled hit man, who may, by definition, be more troubled than she), Ink (dark, upsetting fairy tale film about the war between good and evil that takes place when we’re asleep; compared favorably to Dark City by more than one reviewer…), The Accidental Husband (a disgruntled firefighter, angry at the advice guru whom he believes caused his girlfriend to leave him, somehow (the details are a little unclear) convinces said guru that they were secretly married, even though she’s all engaged and stuff; convoluted comedy comes to us from director Griffin Dunne and stars Uma Thurman, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, and Colin Firth), Lake Tahoe (from the renting-like-hotcake Film Movement series comes this indie dramedy about a hapless teenager who turns to help from a wide variety of eccentric characters when he accidentally wrecks the family car), Hurt (creepy horror thriller about a single mom who moves into the salvage yard home owned by a crazy uncle, finds a seemingly-adorable orphaned child, and then…well, I’m not tellin’),
New Arrivals this week at Videoport: Pageant (fifty gay men battle for the right to be crowned Miss Gay America in this documentary), Bela Fleck: Throw Down Your Heart (documentary follows the titular musician as he makes a tour of Africa), The Thing (From Another World) (the Howard Hawks original alien from space classic finally gets a DVD release; trivia time: although Hawks’ longtime editor Christian Nyby is credited as the film’s director, it’s pretty widely accepted that Hawks himself actually directed the film but allowed pal Nyby to take the credit), Eddie Izzard: Live from Wembley (British comic [and now sought-after character actor] Izzard is as quick on his feet and free-from as Robin Williams, only Izzard is still funny and doesn’t make you want to just slap him as hard as you can so he’ll finally shut up), Where God Left His Shoes (John Leguizamo tries to tone down his undeniable innate creepiness in this heartwarming story of a homeless dad trying to get a job on Christmas Eve so his family will qualify for an apartment), The Achievers: The Story of Lebowski Fans (documentary reveals the story behind the birth of Lebowski-Fest, a growing gang of guys turning the Cohen Brothers’ The Big Lebowski into a cult film by dressing up as The Dude and drinking White Russians), The Chaser (sleazy-looking Korean thriller about a dirty cop-turned-pimp who discovers that his hookers are being killed off by a serial killer), The Bunker (Anthony Hopkins is Hitler! In this movie, of course…), My First DVD (new to Videoport’s kids section comes this program designed to introduce your little angel to the wonderful world of DVDs; lesson one: DON’T TOUCH THE SHINY SIDE OF A DVD EVER!!!!!; lesson two: DON’T LET A CHILD TOUCH A DVD, ESPECIALLY THE SHINY SIDE!!!! IT’S CALLED PARENTING!!!!!).
YOU WILL GO TO THIS!
Former Videoporter/local filmmaker/cool guy Allen Baldwin’s newest film Up Up Down Down will have its first test screening at the Nickelodeon theater (right around the corner) on Thursday, December 3rd at 7pm and 915pm! Come and see the latest film from Allen’s Strongpaw Productions (you can see his great first film Twelve Steps Outside in Videoport’s Feature Drama section)! C’mon!









Videoport Jones: “This autobiographical film, from a script by married screenwriters (and indie hipster darlings) Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida, had me worried going in. I really wanted to like it; I like Eggers’ writing and am rooting for costar John Krasinski to break out as a legitimate movie star (and not as just everybody’s favorite TV cool guy Jim Halpert), but, from the previews, I was concerned that it was going to be too indie-cute, while the fact that it was directed by the usually heavy-handed Sam Mendes (‘American Beauty,’ ‘Revolutionary Road’) seemed at odds with its seemingly-breezy aspirations. Well, judge a movie by its previews at your own peril- this is one of the most happy surprises of the year. As a pleasantly-aimless couple in their early thirties who discover that they’re preggers and go on a trip trying to decide where to relocate, Krasinski and former ‘SNL’ funny gal Maya Rudolph are the most touchingly-believable couple in a long while. Eggers and Vida created a couple without, some might say, any real problems (they have enough money, they have the freedom to move essentially anywhere they want, and family and friends who love them) and imbued their dilemma with a real sense of weight. They feel, and are, largely rootless, lacking the stable, mortgage-y lives of their parents and, happy enough, they nonetheless
VPJ: “In his high school neo-noir ‘Brick,’ director Rian Johnson proved himself a prankish stylist, wedding the hard-boiled detective genre to a teenaged milieu to audaciously-fun effect. In his new film, ‘The Brothers Bloom,’ he’s playing film style mash-up again, this time tackling the venerable conman genre with a quirky, Wes Anderson-like comic detachment. Well, it’s hard to successfully copy the delicately-whimsical tragicomic style of Anderson’s best films like ‘Bottle Rocket,’ ‘Rushmore,’ and ‘The Royal Tenenbaums’ (even Anderson himself has failed at doing so twice in a row now), and ‘The Brothers Bloom,’ while not a failure by any means, never takes off. Like a balloon with too much to carry, it sort of bounces along, struggling to be delightful. Undeniably-talented actors Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo play the titular conmen, orphaned brothers who’ve made their way through the world for decades thanks to the irresistible lure of Ruffalo’s elaborate fictions, and aided by the alluring bait of Brody’s seductively-sensitive playacting. They’re fun to watch as they scoot around the world in pursuit of the
next score, and things look promising when they set their sights on a zany, enthusiastic, klutzy heiress with more money than God (she keeps a stable of identical Ferrari’s in waiting) played by the lovely and spirited Rachel Weisz. The film also has a nice, deliberatley-ambiguous approach to time period in the decor and wardrobe. It’s just that, as the film goes along, the style starts to weigh the picture down in a way that it didn’t in ‘Brick.’ There’s a reason that ‘Dirty Rotten Scoundrels,’ ‘The Sting,’ and ‘The Lady Eve’ weren’t directed by Wes Anderson (or Rian Johnson, for that matter) – the con man flick and the quirky indie fairy tale don’t
match up well. About half way through, ‘The Brothers Bloom’ goes kinda flat. Still and all, a pleasant enough chance to watch these three always-interesting actors do their stuff.”
drives allow him to solve seemingly impossible cases; he notices tiny circumstantial details no one else sees. I’ll be honest: I had remembered the show as formulaic… and it is. But boy oh boy, that formula works. The show is predictably paced, with all its puzzle pieces recurring week after week, but it’s well-crafted and diverting. Shalhoub in particular is a pleasure to watch, bringing every ounce of his restrained talent to making Adrian Monk as endearing as he is irritating. The supporting cast work in concert to keep it peppy, John Turturro, Amy Sedaris, and Glenn Headley have recurring roles, and in the first two seasons alone, the guest stars include John Turturro, Betty Buckley, Rachel Dratch, Adam Arkin, Sarah Silverman, Gary Cole, Jane Lynch, Willie Nelson, and Shalboub’s wife, Brooke Adams. The show itself is a trifle, a lighthearted piece of mass-market entertainment, but all the performers are bringing their A-game. (One caveat: the jaw-droppingly bold product placements make me twitch, which actually adds a little meta-narrative sympathy with Monk’s own nervous tics. Somehow, I don’t think that’s what the producers had in mind.)

Rudolph star in this absoultely-charming comedy about an unmarried couple traveling around the country, looking for the perfect place to have their child), The Brothers Bloom (Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo are the titular conmen after loopy heiress Rachel Weisz’s millions in this oddball comic scam movie), The Girlfriend Experience (risk-happy director Steven Soderbergh teams up with porn star Sasha Grey to bring his tale of a high-priced call girl to life in this intriguing character study), Shrink (the title of this one perhaps describing the prospects of his leading man career, Kevin Spacey stars as the titular psychiatrist who’s self-medicating his grief with lots and lots o’weed), Mangement (the always-interesting Steve Zahn and the sometimes-above-average Jennifer Anniston pair up in this oddball romantic comedy), Lymelife (Alec Baldwin, Timothy Hutton, Cynthia Nixon, and a couple of Culkins examine family dysfunction, coming of age, and, well, Lyme disease in this indie drama), Monsters vs. Aliens (animated comedy about the titular creature smackdown features just about every funny person I personally love: Seth Rogen, Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, Hugh Laurie, Rainn Wilson, Ed Helms, Stephen Colbert, Paul Rudd, Jeffrey Tambor, and John Krasinski; damn- I may actually have to watch this thing), ‘How I Met Your Mother’- season 4 (Neil Patrick Harris, Allyson Hannigan, and Jason Segel, playing the sidekicks, make this sitcom more than worth watching; the two leads are…fine, as well), ‘Kings’- season 1 (Videoport brings you the first season of this oddball, alternate-reality series about an America ruled by royalty, starring ‘Deadwood’’s awesome Ian McShane), Princess (holy crap…this is a Danish, animated, hyper-violent thriller about a former missionary who goes on a psychotic rampage when his porn star sister dies, vowing to eradicate every scrap of porn she ever appeared in; enjoy!).




‘Che’ (released on DVD in two more easily-digestible halves) follows Ernesto ‘Che’ Guevara’s journey from political but respectable doctor in Batista-era Cuba, to guerilla fighter and revolutionary, to UN delegate for Castro’s new Cuban society, back to jungle revolutionary, trying to export the Cuban example to the rest of Latin America, and it is unfailingly gripping throughout, thanks equally to Soderbergh’s tightly-paced direction and, especially, Benicio del Toro’s never-less-than-magnetic lead performance.


horror thriller that keep us on our toes. Made by a couple of enthusiastic amateurs (one of whom, Dennis Muren, went on to win Oscars all over the place for his special effects work in films like E.T., the Star Wars movies, and Jurassic Park), Equinox is awful, sure, but it’s got energy, some truly neat Harryhausen-esque stop-motion monsters, and a whole ‘evil book that opens a portal to hell’ gimmick that I’m sure a young Sam Raimi must have been aware of when he made The Evil Dead. Plus the traditional Criterion heaping helping of special features (I especially appreciated the introduction by the late Forrest Ackerman), two full versions of the film, and an early performance by the future Herb Tarlek from ‘WKRP in Cincinnati’!
little psycho Amy Poehler stars in this very funny series from the creators of ‘The Office’), Dance Flick (the Wayans family trots out another spoof, this time of, well, dance movies), ‘Harper’s Island- season 1 (this short-lived Agatha Christie-style horror series promised to kill off pretty much everyone, on by one), ‘Important Things With Demetri Martin’- season 1 (standup/sketch show from the up-and-coming comedian and star of the recent Taking Woodstock), Sleep Dealer (ambitious sci fi about a near future where governments have become [even more] fascistic and three people try to connect through some sort of Matrix-y thingy), Dakota Skye (indie drama about a girl who can always detect when people lie and her relationship with a dude who, seemingly, never does), ‘Worst Week’- season 1 (sitcom about a couple getting acquainted with their respective in-laws), ‘No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency’- season 1(quaint HBO series about a spunky African lady named Precious who solves crimes in Botswana), Dark Streets (musical melodrama about the owner of a 1930s nightclub who gets in over his head, in various ways), Sin Nombre (gripping drama about a Honduran teenager trying to make it into the US), Filth and Wisdom (Madonna writes and directs her first feature film about London flatmates engaging in various unsavory acts to get by; probably worth a curiosity rent…), Fragments (after surviving a random shooting, a disparate group of people [including Forest Whitaker] start to hang out), The Human Condition (the Criterion Collection brings out this epic three-part WWII drama about a conscientious objector and his attempts to survive, and make sense of, war-torn Japan), ‘Supernatural’- season 4 (two hot guys continue to fight evil in the second ‘X-Files’-y series release this week), ‘Rescue Me’- season 5 (Dennis Leary is still a jerk, a drunk, and a fireman).