Volume CDLXV- Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Videoport Rental DVD (AKA: Stop Touching The Shiny Side)
For the Week of 7/15/14
(Click the pics for more reviews!)
Videoport gives you a free movie every single day. We just thought that was something you oughta know.
Middle Aisle Monday! Take a free rental from the Science Fiction, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Popular Music, Mystery/Thriller, Animation, or Staff Picks sections with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!
>>> Emily S. Customer suggests Sexy Beast (in Incredibly Strange.) Speaking of Jonathan Glazer (see Sunday’s review), his Sexy Beast (2000) is a fluid, vicious, vibrant nightmare of a thriller, a stylish, eerie riff on classic heist film tropes. London gangland handler Don Logan (Ben Kingsley) visits former safecracker Gal Dove (Ray Winstone) in the Spanish countryside to which he’s retired, urging Gal to take on — you got it — one last job. Why? Because Don wants it, and Don gets what he wants. Kingley’s performance earned him an Oscar nomination, and rightly so; he animates Logan with ferocious energy and menace, giving every inch of his body to this intense performance.
>>>Emily S. Customer suggests It (in Horror). Okay, okay: Stephen King adaptations tend toward the hammy and the cheesy — and a King miniseries is like a six-foot ham and cheese sub. But whatever the deficiencies of 1990’s It, there’s one huge plus: Tim Curry as Pennywise, dolled up in full killer clown costume and obviously having a ball. He reels and roars his way through the 3 hours, chewing the scenery with those razor-sharp teeth and rolling his raspy voice around with relish.
>>>Dennis suggests Minotaur (in Sci-Fi/Fantasy). Yes, I am suggesting that you watch this—if only to restore your hope that you can amount to something. The movie’s a horrible dum-dum mess of a thing, with a bunch of Brits and the ever-working Tony Todd (still improbably maintaining
some dignity in spite of a midriff-baring leather outfit and nose ring) running desultorily around a very cramped looking cavern set and occasionally being gored through the thorax by the GCI or puppety bull man of the title. (Some dude is hoisted up by some not-even-remotely hidden wires.) But, emoting his heart out in the midst of all this ill-lit nonsense is none other than Tom Hardy! Yes, Tom Hardy from Inception, The Dark Night Rises, Bronson, Warrior, and lots of other movies that don’t have anything resembling a poorly-designed mythological bull-person in them. So what, I hear you saying—every young actor has some gigs they’re not especially proud of. Shut up and listen, I say—this movie was made in 2006! Dude was 29 years old at that point! That’s only 8 years ago! See what you can accomplish in 8 short years! You could be one of the biggest stars in the world in 8 short years! Just star in Minotaur now and get it out of the way.
Tough and Triassic Tuesday! Give yourself a free rental from the Action or Classics section with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!
>>> Dennis suggests Ride Lonesome (in Classics.) I’ve always meant to catch up with the low budget western series team up from director Budd Boetticher and legendary rawhide hero Randolph Scott. So, no time better than the present, I’ve been checking them out on my lunch hours and I’ve gotta say I agree with film critic hero Danny Peary (Cult Movies)—these are super. I recommended The Tall T last week, so here’s my cheerleading for Ride Lonesome, where Scott plays another soft-spoken loner riding the Old West with a code of honor and a secret. This time, he plays the awesomely named Ben Brigade, taciturn bounty hunter who captures dipsh*t outlaw killer James Best (later The Dukes Of Hazzard’s Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane) and sets of across country to turn Best in for the reward. Along the way, he meets up with recently widowed Karen Steele, who’s kinda purty, and a pair of outlaws played by Bonanza’s Pernell Roberts and James Coburn (in his first film). Also, they pick up a tail in the form of evil Lee Van Cleef, who’s Best’s brother, and whom Brigade seems to be allowing to follow the party’s trail. In nearly all these Boetticher films, Scott is a moral man with a violent past, and each time he’s paired with his opposite number, a violent man who hasn’t chosen the moral path. Here, it’s Roberts, a man Brigade knows is of shaky character, but who respects Brigade—but does he respect him enough to do the right thing when the time comes? All of these Westerns make exquisite use of their meager budgets (they were actual ‘B’ pictures), with unique Western settings, crisp, interestingly composed shots, and the stalwart, eminently formidable Scott, in whose rangy, soft-spoken men of action the very soul of the Western resides always. Coming up next week: Boetticher/Scott film #3 Comanche Station.
Wacky and Worldly Wednesday! You’ve got a free rental coming from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!
>>> Emily S. Customer suggests brushing up your pronouns (Get all three for the Monday-Thursday three movies for a week for seven bucks deal). It (1990), recommended above for Tim Curry’s rollicking performance, features a group of childhood friends reunited to fight unspeakable interdimensional evil in the shape of a creepy clown, why not? Them (1954) stars James Whitmore as a New Mexico state trooper tracking the mysterious cause of a rash of weird deaths and disappearances. In Ils (2006) follows young teacher Clémentine (Olivia Bonamy) and Lucas (Michaël Cohen) just want to spend a quiet weekend at their isolated country home. Spoiler alert: they don’t.
Thrifty Thursday! Rent one, get a free rental from any other section in the store! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!
>>> Emily S. Customer suggests you pair up a new release with a freebie! Broadway legend Elaine Stritch, known for her brassy renditions of Sondheim and Coward and for her wry, dry wit, is the subject of a documentary newly released on DVD: Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me follows the octogenarian around New York as she rehearses her one-woman show, pads around her hotel room in her signature tights-and-dress-shirt, knocks back cocktails with show-biz cronies, and advises her director on the best place to put the camera. She’s mercurial, affecting, sharp, sweet, and often infuriating. Knock back this new release back like a good draught of bourbon, then revisit the formidable Stritch in her heyday by checking out Tales of the Unexpected episode “My Lady Love, My Dove.” Based on the Roald Dahl short story of the same name, this episode features Stritch at her swaggering, rasp-throated roughest, embodying a host of Dahl’s fears of powerful women with giddy, conniving viciousness.
Free Kids Friday! One free rental from the Kids section, no other rental necessary!
>>> It’s a free movie and it’s for kids. Save your grinchy grinching for someone who’s not giving a free movie to a kid.
Having a Wild Weekend! Rent two movies, and get a third one for free from any section!
>>>For Saturday, Former Videoporter Stockman suggests About Time (in Feature Drama.) In Richard Curtis I trust. The man who wrote and directed Love Actually should always be given the benefit of the doubt. Richard Curtis has certainly been associated with some pretty meh movies, but I’ll always give him the benefit of the doubt. So, despite the premise of About Time seeming like it would be better called Time Rufi (Ruphy? Roofy? Rufie? I have no idea and I’m really not sure googling that word is in my best interest) I was interested in checking it out. Also I love Rachel McAdams. Ginger haired adorable British boy lives life with the ability to travel back in time, but only backward and forward within his own timeline. I walked away from this movie with the same sweeping feeling that Love Actually gave me. An elative feeling of hope and community. I’d say don’t bother watching this only if you hate love and togetherness, but even soulless people who hate love and togetherness loved Love Actually! Loved it almost because of its flaws and not in spite of them which everyone knows is proof of true love. I think you should give this movie a try because you might just, like me, find yourself falling in love again and we all know that love actually is all around.
>>>For Sunday, Emily S. Customer suggests you pair up a new release with a freebie! Long-awaited otherworldly meditation Under The Skin, starring Scarlett Johansson as a nameless woman driving the streets of Scotland in search of companions — and finding them in abundance — is director Jonathan Glazer’s first feature film in nearly a decade. Grab it tonight, and pair up the new release with Glazer’s 2004 Birth, an odd urban fable. Anna (Nicole Kidman), a stylish young widow of ten years, is preparing to remarry when a young boy arrives as drops a bombshell into the life she’s carefully — so carefully, cautiously, guardedly — rebuilt.
New Releases this week at Videoport: Under The Skin (Scarlett Johansson is a mostly-mute alien seductress! In this movie, I mean. Of course, she could be one in real life—I don’t know about people’s personal lives. Anyway, this Scottish sci-fi/thriller/mind-screw is getting some serious buzz as one of the most original, weird, and disturbing movies of 2014, with Johansson wandering around the streets of Glasgow and seducing unwary men for purposes I’m not going to tell you about. See Sunday’s review for a double feature recommendation from the lovely Emily S. Customer!), Le Weekend (old pros Jim Broadbent and Lindsay Duncan star in this heartwarmer about an aging couple who head back to Paris, the site of their long-ago honeymoon, to rejuvenate their marriage; costarring Jeff Goldblum), Bad Grandpa .5 (did you like Bad Gandpa, where Jackass jackass Johnny Knoxville dressed up in very convincing old age makeup and teamed up with an annoying little brat to freak out the squares? Well today’s your lucky day, as Videoport brings in this extended, all new version with 40 minutes more of scatological uncomfortableness! You’re welcome!), Black Dynamite- season 1 (cartoon series based on the very, very funny live action blaxploitation spoof Black Dynamite; You just don’t mess with Black Dynamite…), Hell On Wheels- season 3 (more Old West grittiness about an outlaw turned maybe not quite an outlaw any more, fighting for his piece of the dusty American dream amidst the backdrop of the building of the transcontinental railroad), Open Grave (District 9’s Sharlto Copley stars in this thriller about a guy who wakes up in the bottom of a pit full of bodies. Is he next? Did he kill them? He can’t remember, dammit!), Orphan Black- season 2 (The star of this show, Tatiana Maslany, was robbed like a poorly-guarded bank in last week’s Emmy nominations, there’s no doubt about that. But you can check out this very exciting thriller series [with a premise you might not want to know about if it hasn’t been spoiled for you already] and get all riled up over her snubbing. She really is giving one[?] of the best performances on television right now), Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me (fascinating documentary about 88 year old Broadway legend Stritch, the epitome of “brassy old broad” as she struggles to prepare for one last cabaret tour and interacts with the likes of Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, John Turturro, James Gandolfini, and Tracy Morgan), The Face Of Love (Annette Bening and Ed Harris star in this romantic drama about a woman who strikes up a relationship with a man who bears a striking resemblance to her late husband)
New Arrivals on Blu-Ray This Week At Videoport: Nymphomaniac Part 1, Nymphomaniac Part 2, The Raid 2, The Raid: Redemption, Under The Skin
Free parking at Videoport! The parking lot behind the building is free for customers after 5PM on weekdays and all days on the weekends. Also, we can get you a free hour of parking at any downtown parking garage (including the courthouse garage which is, like, a one minute walk away). Just ask for one of our magic stickers!
Get your movies duplicated at Videoport!
You know that Videoport copies DVDs and VHS tapes, right? Well we do! Now don’t try to get us to copy anything copyrighted—that’s against the law. That’s what “copyrighted” means. But home movies, stuff like that—bring ‘em in and get yourself some copies. They’re ten bucks apiece, we do ‘em fast, and you really should have extra copies of those secret surveillance tapes of that thing that you saw that time. You know—just in case you need to foil someone’s dastardly plot. Soo many movies would have been over that much more quickly of the heroes had made some copies at Videoport. So sad…
Buy your movies at Videoport!
(Instead of some stupid chain store or soulless, small-business-crippling website.) Yup, apart from the many previously viewed movies and TV shows on hand at Videoport, we can get you anything that’s currently in print. We don’t charge shipping (or that handling nonsense), and you can have it in your hands in a bout a week. Sure, said corporate behemoths might get it a bit cheaper (because of their concentrated, small-business-crippling evil), but Videoport gives you a free rental with every single movie you buy from us. Call that $3.50 off the price, call that a blow for the little guy—all it really means is you get your movie and make the world a liiiiiitle bit better at the same time.