VideoReport #461

Volume CDLXI—What The Bleep Does Videoport Know? Quite A Lot, Actually…

For the Week of 6/17/14


Videoport gives you a free movie every day. Who hates a free movie? Nobody, that’s who.


Middle Aisle Monday! Take a free rental from the Science Fiction, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Popular Music, Mystery/Thriller, Animation, or Staff Picks sections with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!

>>> Dennis suggests soccer movies at Videoport! The World Cup is underway, so in deference to former Videoporter Dutch Dennis (aka Disco, aka Dutchelsberg) here’s all the soccer-y goodness you can find at Videoport!

Playing For Keeps (in Drama—2012). Tangentially soccer related but perpetual smirk machine Gerard Butler plays a failed soccer star who has sex with a lot of people.

United (Drama—2012). Feature about the 1958 Manchester United team, called the Busby Babes, who were the youngest team to ever win some soccer championship. Then a bunch of them dies in a plane crash.

The Damned United (2011—Drama). The excellent Michael Sheen stars in this fact-based drama about a soccer scandal that’s much more well know in England than over here. Great work from Sheen and Timothy Spall.

Goal, Goal 2, and Goal 3 (in Drama). A young guy would like to be very good at soccer. He becomes very good at soccer.

Gracie (2007—in Drama). Elizabeth Shue stars in this soccer story about her family’s true inspirational story. When a young man dies, his sister vows to take his place on the soccer team.

Once In A Lifetime” The Extraordinary Story Of The New York Cosmos (2006—Documentary). Remember that time in the 1970s when American almost but not quite bought in to soccer as a national sport? Well soccer legend Pele helped.

The Art Of Soccer (2006—Nonfiction Sports). John Cleese hosts this soccer documentary! John Cleese, people!

Green Street Hooligans (2005—Action). Elijah Wood stars as an expelled American college student who moves to England and falls in with a gang of British soccer thugs (led by Sons Of Anarchy’s Charlie Hunnam).

Kicking And Screaming (2005-Kids section). Will Ferrell stars as a high strung dude who coaches youth soccer and has to stop yelling at everyone. Pretty funny.

Real (2005—Nonfiction Sports). Documentary about Real Madrid, one of the richest and most successful soccer clubs in the world.

The Game Of Their Lives (2005—Drama.) Gerard Butler again, this time in a much better movie about the real life 1950 upset when the traditionally terrible American team beat the Brits.

Bend It Like Beckham (2002—Comedy). See Emily’s Saturday review!

Shaolin Soccer (2001—Comedy). Great action comedy from Stephen Chow about a hangdog soccer team who turn to martial arts for success.

A Shot At Glory (2000—Drama). Robert Duvall stars as a crusty Scottish soccer coach. Robert Duvall, people.

Mean Machine (1999—Former soccer enforcer/actor Vinny “Hard Man” Jones stars in this British soccer remake of The Longest Yard, with his jailed soccer star putting together a prisoner’s team.

Fever Pitch (1997—Drama). See Emily’s Thursday review!

The Firm (1989—Drama). Gary Oldman stars in this fact based tale of the notorious football hooligans fanatically following the West Ham United soccer team of the 1970s.

Victory (1981—Drama). Dopey but thrilling WWII soccer drama about a POW soccer team helping out the French Resistance by beating the Nazis…in

You have no idea what you're doing, do you Stallone?

You have no idea what you’re doing, do you Stallone?

soccer! Starring Michael Caine, Sylvester Stallone…and Pele! Pele gets to do a really amazing bicycle kick which almost made me want to play soccer when I was twelve. Almost.

Tough and Triassic Tuesday! Give yourself a free rental from the Action or Classics section with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!

>>> Emily S. Customer pays tribute to the late, great Ruby Dee. We’ve lost another great, readers: last week, just after the VideoReport went to press, legendary actor, activist, playwright, and author Ruby Dee died at the age of 91. Winner of the Emmy, Grammy, Obie, Screen Actors Guild (and also a SAG Lifetime Achievement honoree), Ruby Dee was also awarded the 1995 National Medal of Arts and a 2004 Kennedy Center Honor, along with her husband and partner in activism and art, Ossie Davis. She’s perhaps best known as Ruth in Raisin in the Sun (1961), recreating her star turn in the Broadway play, but Ruby Dee delivered riveting performances all her life, culminating in her Oscar-nominated role in American Gangster (2007). When news of her death reached me, I thought first of Dee’s unflappable wisdom in Spike Lee’s Do the Right Thing (1989), where she observes and advises the neighborhood from her window. It’s hard to believe Ruby Dee is gone from us, that she’s not casting a watchful eye over us all. Mother Sister always watches.

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday! You’ve got a free rental coming from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!                                                        

>>> Emily S. Customer suggests Ghostbusters (in Comedy). It was a year ago that my niece asked an innocent question that rocked my smug world to its foundations. “What’s Ghostbusters?” she asked, and I was appalled. Not at her — no, never — but at myself for having let my auntly duties escape me so thoroughly that she could reach 15 without watching this great American comedy. To celebrate the 30th anniversary of Ghostbusters’ theatrical release*, I urge you not to fail in your duties to our youth as shamefully as I have. Rent Ghostbusters from Videoport this week and, if you can, share it with the next generation.

*You guys, we’re sorry. No excuses, no pretense. June 8th was the 30th anniversary of Ghostbusters’ theatrical release and we just… well, we just plumb forgot until after the VideoReport went to press.                                                                                      

Thrifty Thursday! Rent one, get a free rental from any other section in the store! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!                                                                                                    

>>> Emily S. Customer suggests you catch FÚTBOL fever! Fever Pitch (1997, not the 2005 American remake) adapts Nick Hornby’s intense and hilarious match-by-match memoir to tell the story of North London teacher Paul Ashworth (Colin Firth) as his soccer fanaticism impinges upon his blossoming romance with a fellow teacher. Fever Pitch rings notes similar to Hornby’s High Fidelity and About a Boy, but folds in an observation about how enthusiasm for a team expresses and sublimates a fan’s everyday anxieties and emotions, providing an outlet ill-afforded by most modern lives, and offering a substitute kinship system for those who bond over a team when they cannot connect in any other way.

Free Kids Friday! One free rental from the Kids section, no other rental necessary!                     

 >>> It’s free! It’s for kids! Or the very immature!

Having a Wild Weekend! Rent two movies, and get a third one for free from any section!                                                    

>>>For Saturday, Emily S. Customer kicks off another footie favorite! Bend It Like Beckham (in Comedy) stars Parminder Nagra as Jess, a talented football player forbidden by her patents to play on the local women’s team, and Keira Knightley as Jules, who recruits her anyway. Jules’ mother (Juliet Stevenson, household favorite chez Videoport) also discourages her daughter’s footie enthusiasm, constantly trying to lure Jules into pink sweater sets, Wonderbras, and other trappings of compulsory femininity. It sounds like a facile by-the-numbers movie, but Bend It Like Beckham won the hearts of a generation of girls with its winning combination of spirited competition and jubilant comradery. Roger Ebert observed “what makes it special is the bubbling energy of the cast and the warm joy with which Gurinder Chadha, the director and co-writer, tells her story.”

>>>For Sunday, Emily S. Customer proves that the late, great Ruby Dee turns up in the darndest places. Did you remember that Ruby Dee — Emmy winner, Grammy winner, Oscar nominee, respected activist and poet — had a small role in Paul Schrader’s 1982 Cat Peopleremake? Yeah, me neither. But there she is, right in the first act: when Irina (Nastassja Kinski) arrives at her estranged brother’s home to reunite with him after a youth spent in foster care, she’s greeted by Paul’s housekeeper, Female. (It’s pronounced Fuh-mahl-ay.) I am not making this up.

New Releases this week at Videoport: Alan Partridge (first thing—head to Videoport’s British Comedy section and check out Knowing Me Knowing You, It’s Alan Partridge, and Steve Coogan Live to get a taste of Partridge. Alan Partridge, that is—comic Cogan’s most enduring creation, a clueless, egotistical, perpetually humiliated British TV and radio personality whose insatiable hunger for fame results in pain, embarrassment, and early morning radio DJ jobs in the North Country; now, in his first theatrical feature, the enduringly brilliant Cogan brings the enduringly squirmy Partridge to the big screen as his tiny radio station is taken over by a hostage taker), Walk Of Shame (the very funny Elizabeth Banks [30 Rock, Wet Hot American Summer] stars in this comedy she’s probably too good for about a professional woman who has a one night stand then has to slink across town for an important job interview), The Machine (British sci-fi about a near-future world where two brilliant researchers invent the world’s first self-aware artificial intelligence—that always goes well, right?), The Grand Budapest Hotel (director Wes Anderson continues his career as one of the most unique, singular moviemakers in the world with this universally loved bittersweet comedy about the titular luxury hotel and the comic misadventures of legendary concierge Ralph Fiennes; this is a good one, people), 2 Autumns, 3 Winters (charming French love story about some star-crossed thirtysomethings; from the good people at Film Movement—check out the Film Movement shelf in the middle aisle!), The Lego Movie (against all odds and logic and sense this animated comedy populated by Lego figures is apparently more than just a cynical toy commercial; I mean, it’s clearly a toy commercial, but it’s also supposed to be damned good. Weird…), Joe (both director Davd Gordon Green [George Washington, All The Real Girls] and Nicholas Cage [all the bad movies ever] attempt to reestablish their indie cred in this gritty, low budget drama about an embittered ex-con reluctantly choosing to help out a troubled teenager), The Attorney (Korean drama, based on a true story, about a shady lawyer who finds his conscience when he chooses to take on the case of a teenager whose been tortured after being falsely accused of a crime), House Of Cards- season 2 (Kevin Spacey is back as the least scrupulous politician since—well, all the real politicians in this series based on the British series House Of Cards, To Play The King, and The Final Cut which of course Videoport has—check the Mystery/Thriller section once you’ve run through the Spacey version), Ernest & Celestine (French animated film about the unlikely friendship between a lady mouse and a huge, honkin’ bear won all the awards and made everyone very, very happy; you should rent it if being happy is your thing…), Son Of God (who’s up for an edited-down version of that laughably bad History Channel miniseries The Bible, starring the most boring screen Jesus in memory? Well, Videoport’s got you covered!)


New Arrivals at Videoport: Lego Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Out (speaking of shameless toy commercials passing as legitimate entertainment, check out this animated Star Wars/Lego corporate synergy in the children’s section!), Kes (how awesome is Videoport’s Criterion Collection section? Well, it just got about 3% better with our addition of this 1969 British drama from the steadfastly uncompromising director Ken Loach [The Wind That Shakes The Barley, The Angels’ Share, The Navigators]; this one’s about a working class boy caring for his pet falcon)


New Arrivals on Blu-Ray This Week At Videoport: Alan Partridge, The Machine, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Ernest & Celestine, The Lego Movie


Free parking at Videoport! The parking lot behind the building is free for customers after 5PM on weekdays and all days on the weekends. Also, we can get you a free hour of parking at any downtown parking garage (including the courthouse garage which is, like, a one minute walk away). Just ask for one of our magic stickers!

Get your movies duplicated at Videoport!

You guys know we can make copies of your DVDs and VHSes at Videoport, right? No, it can’t be anything copyrighted (that’s sort of what that word means), so you’ll just have to buy another copy of Weekend At Bernie’s to replace that VHS you’ve played so often it finally shredded itself. But home movies or anything not copyrighted? We can do it! $10 bucks a pop and little Susie’s dance recital can be copied and sent to every relative on your Christmas card list!


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