Okay, here’s the thing:
Videoport has everything!
Of course, that’s a lie. We have a finite amount of space in our cavernous basement lair, and to have everything ever made, we’d have a teetering, piled to the ceiling hoarders-type situation on our hands, and our shorter customers (and April) would be in constant danger. But we’ve got a hell of a lot of stuff, all gathered, curated, and carefully selected from over 27 years of openness and awesomeness. From the newest-latest stuff you simply must have right now (but which will sit disregarded once the hype wears off and you realize that Johnny Depp makes a lot of really mediocre movies) to the most obscure, weird stuff that only one person in ten thousand would be interested in—Videoport is your destination for, well, everything.
“Now hold on a second,” I hear you saying somehow. “That crappy vending machine around the corner from my house in the garbage-strewn convenience store parking lot with the scary teens bumming cigarettes has fifty movies I have to give my credit card information to get and which are usually scratched and terrible!” To which I reply, wow—it really seems like you’re setting your argument up for failure already there. Still, while it’s true that that super-great gumball machine might have some of the newest-latest movies, we’ve got them, too, and often a lot sooner. See, the studios hold a lot of the big movies back for a long time. Man, it’s like they don’t want their movies associated with a ludicrous, impersonal vending machine. Weird.
“Okay,” you reply, “Maybe you tore through my first objection to renting at a locally-owned, independent video store instead of from a massive corporation which decided which movies I can see and when. But what about Netflix—you know, that massive, impersonal corporation that decides what movies I can see and when?” Again, I can see you’re really on the fence here, so I’ll help you out. Apart from the myriad class action lawsuits against said company from the beginning of its benighted existence, you know that Netflix regularly pulls movies and TV shows from its library, right? Why do they do this? Shady corporate backroom deals? Just to f@%$ with you? We don’t know. What we do know is that Videoport never does that. We’ve curated our collection of movies over decades. We love them. We cherish them. We bring them in and keep them as part of our collection for you to enjoy. Forever. “But wait a minute,” you say, although you really sound sort of guilty about doubting us. “Haven’t you sold off some of your movies over the years?” It’s okay, tiger—we forgive you. While we do reluctantly let an underperforming title go from time to time, we do it judiciously, and with much geeky deliberation. We never get rid of anything essential, and—we’ll bring it back if there’s suddenly a groundswell of desire for, say, Space Jam (as happened lately), we’ll bring it back!!
Check out the purple notebook by the computer when you enter the store. That’s the customer request book. If we don’t have what you want (a rarity, but it happens), then write it down in the book. We go through it, and, when owner Bill’s feeling spendy, we’ll buy it. Make a stink. Pester us. That’s the beauty of an independent video store—there’s no bureaucracy, no middle men. There’s just Videoport‘s owner—and he’s very susceptible to manipulation and begging. Basically, if there’s the sense that an obscure movie or TV show has enough people clamoring for it, then we’ll get it. We love movies, too. And we want to have them for you. It’s you and us in this together. Again—indie video stores.
“But,” you continue, actually sounding sorta afraid at this point, “Since you have so many movies, how do I know what to rent?” Take it easy, little buddy—that’s what our staff is here for. As has been written before, they know everything—about movies in general and about every movie and TV show we’ve got on our shelves. They’ll help you find it if you know you want it and they’ll point you in the right direction if you don’t. Again, that’s the beauty of an independent video store where the employees know their stuff and actually love their store. They take pride in knowing what we’ve got and in bringing you together with the movies you really want.
That’s an indie video store for you.