VideoReport #416

Volume CDXVI- Sherlock Holmes and the Mystery Of What A Gal Has To Do To Get An Emmy Nomination Around Here? (On a related note—you should check out Tatiana Maslany in the show Orphan Black…)

For the Week of 8/6/13

Videoport gives you a free movie every day. What can we say? We’re givers…

Middle Aisle Monday! Take a free rental from the Science Fiction, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation, or Staff Picks sections with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!

>>>Dennis suggests using that 3 movies for a week for 7 bucks deal (Monday-Friday) to binge-watch some of those shows all the kids are talking about! I just recently got into the first season of Homeland, finally. (My verdict so far: good, but overrated a bit—gets better as it goes along.) Why did it take me so long? Well, one—none of your business, mister. Two—you guys were renting the heck out of it and, good boy that I am, I thought I’d let the paying customers get to it first. And three—there are so freaking many shows out there, sometimes it gets a little daunting to tackle a new one. So sue me. Anyway, keeping that in mind, Videoport’s Monday-Thursday deal is the perfect way to grab a handful of DVDs from that show you’ve meant to watch but just haven’t pulled the trigger on yet. You have ‘em for a week, so there’s no pressure to get them back right away, and taking three of them at once is enough of a bite out of the whole series that you’ll feel better about taking home more. Since were in the Monday slot here, my Middle Aisle TV show suggestions are as follows: 1. Firefly (Best sci fi show ever, and because no one watched it and it was cancelled almost immediately, there are only four DVDs, plus the movie Serentiy.) 2. The Wire. (The best show ever, period. Five seasons worth, but you’ll get so hooked immediately that you’ll plow through them. Ask anybody.) 3. Game Of Thrones. (Didn’t knock me out, but all the kids love it—you don’t want to be left out, do you?) 4. Foyle’s War. (Your mom loves it.) 5. Carnivale. (Like a dust bowl Twin Peaks.) 5. Twin Peaks. 6. Every Star Trek series ever. (There are a lot of them.) You get the idea. Videoport—we make binging fun and affordable!

Tough and Triassic Tuesday! Give yourself a free rental from the Action or Classics section with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!

>>>Dennis suggests The Marx Brothers movies (in Classics.) What, you don’t like to laugh? My picks, in order: Animal Crackers, Duck Soup, A Night At The Opera, Horse Feathers, A Day At The Races, Monkey Business, The Cocoanuts, Room Service, At The Circus. Laugh, already.

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday! You’ve got a free rental coming from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!

>>> Dennis predicts a scene from the upcoming season of Doctor Who! Yes, I can see into the future. And no, it does not help me in any way, as I can only use it to predict upcoming TV episodes concerning inconsequential things only I care about. Oh well. Anyway, with Scottish actor Peter Capaldi being announced as the new Doctor, I’m put in mind, as I often am, of my favorite film of all time, Bill Forsythe’s 1983 comedy Local Hero. In it, Capaldi plays the supporting role of Danny, a goofy, eager-to-please young Scottish employee of the massive Knox Oil and Gas corporation sent to aid young American Knox exec Peter Riegert as he tries to surreptitiously buy the entire tiny fishing village of Furness. In this whimsical, yet hilarious and oddly melancholy film (you really should see it), both Capaldi and Riegert find themselves, much as I am, enchanted by the odd little place, where everything is perfectly normal, except for tantalizing little hints that it is not. I won’t spoil the delights of Local Hero (because only terrible, soulless jerks do that) but I will say that the centerpiece of the village is the one lonely, old-fashioned pay phone box where Riegert makes a series of increasingly-frantic transatlantic calls throughout the film, and which is central to its haunting final shot. An old fashioned British phone box! Do you see where I’m going with this? A strange little town in the British Isles where things may not, in fact, be what they seem? You get it right? Capaldi’s Doctor is coming to Furness! The phone box is the TARDIS, or calls the TARDIS—I’m just spitballing here, but this will happen! I’m sure of it! Or at least it would happen if things were as I would have them be. Regardless, you should watch Local Hero because it will make your life better. Like 6, 7% better…

Thrifty Thursday! Rent one, get a free rental from any other section in the store! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!

>>>Dennis suggests In The Loop (in Comedy.) Since the very good actor Peter Capaldi is now significantly more famous than he was last week, here’s another great thing of his to check out. In this British political comedy, Capaldi, far removed from goofball Scot Danny in Local Hero, plays Malcolm Tucker, British political operative and the most hilariously foul-mouthed authority figure since R. Lee Ermey in Full Metal Jacket. Tasked with keeping low-level a cabinet minister with a penchant for sticking his foot way, down deep in his mouth at inopportune times of global conflict, Capaldi’s Tucker is a snarling, potty-mouthed bully who, nonetheless, is often the only sane man in the film’s world of dithering politicians and crossed wires. His showdown with an equally-filthy and intimidating American general (RIP James Gandolfini) is a virtuoso display of insult, a fetid duet of hilarious filth. Created by Armando Ianucci, (who also created the very similar HBO show Veep, which you should also rent), In the Loop is mean, lean, and hilarious. It also makes you think what the Doctor’s first words are gonna be the first time he runs into a Dalek…

Free Kids Friday! One free rental from the Kids section, no other rental necessary!

>>>It’s for kids. It’s free. What, you don’t like kids? Pretty mean…

Having a Wild Weekend! Rent two movies, and get a third one for free from any section!

>>>For Saturday, Regan suggests Weekend (in the Criterion Collection.) It’s probably incorrect for me to say this, but the gays are really knockin’ it out of the park at the movies this year. First, the drama-riffic Keep The Lights On (in Feature Drama) blew my socks off. And now Weekend is blowing me all over again. Pun intended. The movie takes place over a weekend (duh-doi) when these two guys have what they think is a one-night stand, but kinda changes both of them forever. There’s this one scene when Glen asks Russell to come out for his going away party and Glen hides under his hoodie. It just kills me. Weekend is totally charming and honest and terrific to look at. And yes there’s a li’l bit o’ man chowder in it, but just a li’l. PS: Lena Dunham (creator of Girls) says the waz scene in Weekend really inspired her waz scenes in Girls. Fact!

>>>For Sunday, For Sunday, Dennis suggests bringing in a friend. You love Videoport. It makes your life better. What, you don’t like your friend? You don’t want him/her to be happy? That’s really pretty selfish…

New Releases this week at Videoport: Oblivion (Tom Cruise is saving the world again! Only this time its the world—of the future! And he uncovers a mystery about the past! And Morgan Freeman is there to offer some sage, sage Freeman wisdom. And there are some very cool-looking spaceship battles!), Mud (Matthew McConaughey stars in this acclaimed indie that everyone around Videoport has been asking about. In it, he’s a mysterious drifter hiding out on a deserted island in the Mississippi River who regales the two young boys who discover him with tales of his adventures and claims the law is after him. Is he the happy-go-lucky adventurer he seems, or is there something darker about the guy? Great reviews for McConaughey for this one…), Community- season 4 (okay, we can all agree that the first three seasons of Community are some of the best TV comedy in recent memory, right? Good. Well, after the show’s creator was fired…this season happened. It’s still worth watching, if only to see one of the most talented ensemble casts in TV history try to keep the thing afloat, but have no fear—Harmon is returning for season 5 and all will be well again and Community will get its 6 seasons and a movie, and we can all pretend this season never happened.), The Place Beyond The Pines (that blankly compelling Ryan Gosling returns, this time playing a—wait for it—largely-inexpressive antihero! He’s a motorcycle stunt rider (making his Steve McQueen thing even more apparent) who turns to bank robbery to save his family only to be pursued by troubled cop Bradley Cooper. Some great stunt work, and two hunky cool guys chasing each other—what more could you want?), The Borgias- season 3 (Jeremy Irons returns for a third go-round of costume plotting, poisoning, and rumpy-pumpy, playing the leader of the true-life Italian family that was far, far less than ethical in scheming for power in 15th century Italy. And did I mention he’s the freaking Pope?), Strike Back- season 2 (rough, tough Brit special agents take on terrorists in this Cinemax/Sky TV coproduction that’s been roughing up Videoport’s Action section for a year or so), The Sapphires (the very funny Chris O’Dowd [Bridesmaids, The IT Crowd, Girls] stars in this musical true story about a quartet of young women in 1968 who decide to shoot for fame by taking their soul group to Vietnam to play for the troops [alongside O’Dowd’s Irish R&B enthusiast]), On The Road (is Jack Keroac’s legendary beat novel about a pair of loose-cannon best friends zipping across 1950s America unfilmable? Or will it just seem that way? Rent this attempt starring that Twilight girl and find out!), To The Wonder (legendary director Terrence Malick [Badlands, Days Of Heaven, The Thin Red Line, Tree Of Life] is making movies a little more frequently than he used to, which is nice for us; here; he’s assembled the likes of Ben Affleck, Javier Bardem, and Rachel McAdams for another of his enigmatic, visually-stunning explorations of the human condition; great reviews as always…), Political Animals- the complete series (ever-awesome Sigourney Weaver starred in this short-lived political series about a former first lady, and current Secretary of State, who tries to keep her family and career together under the glare of the national press on the trail of some juicy political scandal), Magic Magic (a young traveler finds herself stranded in the Chilean wilderness alongside some unsavory characters [including an uncharacteristically creepy Michael Cera] in this intriguing looking thriller), As Luck Would Have It (Salma Hayek stars in the new film from great Spanish director Alex de la Iglesia [The Perfect Crime, The Baby’s Room, 800 Bullets] about a middle aged man who’s been hiding the fact that he was laid off from his family; desperate, he accidentally tries to leverage an unexpected mishap into a lucrative settlement, all without his family finding out the truth), Aftershock (visceral action from infamous director [here he stars and co-writes] Eli Roth [Hostel] about some American tourists forced to fight for their lives when a devastating earthquake turns Mexico City into a survival-of-the-fittest thunderdome), Storm Surfers (they’re surfers! Who surf on storms! On surfboards! Look for it in Videoport’s Sports section!), Sushi: The Global Catch (did you love the charming documentary Jiro Dreams Of Sushi? Did it make you want lots and lots of sushi? Well then you are destroying the planet! At least that’s the theory put forth by this buzz-kill of a documentary about how the global demand for sushi has led to massive overfishing. This is why we can’t have nice things…), The World Before Her (documentary follows the divergent journeys of two young Indian women, one a beauty pageant queen, the other the leader of a fundamentalist Hindu camp for girls), Endeavor-season 1 (the university adventures of the man who’d grow up to become Inspector Morse make up this BBC mystery series), Assault On Wall Street (infamous director of laughable nonsense Uwe Boll [BloodRayne, Tunnel Rats, Postal, In The Name Of The King] is back! This time applying his sensitive touch to an insightful dissection of the causes and effects of the global financial crisis. Naw—just kiddin’. A guy who lost his job gets some guns and blows stuff up real good!), Wild Bill (British gangster flick about a paroled criminal who finds his two young sons fending for themselves and reluctantly goes into action to rescue them from the life of crime he’d almost, not quite, never really left behind), Cloudburst (Olympia Dukakis and Brenda Fricker star as an aging, ailing lesbian couple who decide to take off from their home in Maine on a wacky road trip when their kid tries to put them in a nursing home), Black Rock (speaking of Maine, Maine native [and big Hollywood star now] Katie Aselton [The League, The Freebie] directed and stars in this Maine-shot thriller about a trio of estranged female friends who come to our fair state to reunite on the titular lonely island, only to run seriously afoul of some hunters with bad intentions), Antiviral (carrying on in his dad’s really, really unsettling footsteps, David Cronenberg’s son Brandon directs this disturbing medical horror about a near-future world where people pay to have themselves infected with the same diseases as their celebrity idols; strangely, things get out of hand…), Brick And Mortar And Love (those who eschew the internet and get their music at independent record stores are the subject of this documentary we here at Videoport can certainly get behind), Eddie The Sleepwalking Cannibal (ghoulish cult hit about a painter who finds inspiration while caring for a student with an unusual condition; not to give anything away, but the title is a clue…), Garden Of Words (gentle animated Japanese film about a young student who meets up with an older women in a secluded public garden…but only when it rains), Paradise Love (on the beaches of Kenya, a middle aged Austrian housewife on vacation learns the pleasures, and disappointment, of the local tourist culture where young boys service white tourists, for a price)

New Arrivals On Blu Ray This Week At Videoport: Oblivion, Mud, The Place Beyond The Pines

Get yourself some free money at Videoport! As if you needed another reason to rent here, Videoport has these deals which just plain give you free money. Check it out: pay 20 bucks up front on your rental account, and we turn that into 25 dollars worth of rental credit. Do the same thing but with 30 dollars, and we give you 40 dollars worth of store credit. That’s either five or ten free bucks, which you were going to spend here anyway eventually. So why wouldn’t you go for this deal? Um–you hate deals maybe? I’m not your psychiatrist…

Write for The VideoReport! The VideoReport (the thing you are reading right now) is the weekly newsletter of Videoport, the best, damned movie store left in the free world. It’s the place for the staff and customers of Videoport to share their reviews, views, and, um, shoes? screws? on their favorite, least favorite, and most reviled films and TV shows of all time. So if you want in on the action, send your reviews to us at, our Facebook page Videoport Jones, or just drop them off here at the store. We all love the movies, we all love to shoot our mouths off about what we love and don’t love about them, and the VideoReport is the place to bond with the rest of us film geeks and support, as I said, the best damned movie store left on the planet.

Published in: on August 6, 2013 at 1:53 pm  Leave a Comment  

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