Let’s all rent at Videoport, shall we?

Okay, we all know that there are lots of ways to rent movies out there.  Well, not really anymore, since one enormous, soulless, conglomerate-y way effectively drove most other ways to rent movies out of business, but you get the general idea.   Anyway, we here at Videoport realize that we’re only one of the ways you can get your entertainment, albeit the best, most complete, and integrity-filled one.  And while that one (horrible, oft-sued) other option has recently raised its prices (due to poor business planning and a rampant disregard for its customers’ well-being) to an unconscionable degree, maybe some of you out there could use a nudge out of that (buggy, delay-filled) nest.  So strap yourselves in, and then, you know, drive yourself to Videoport (you were strapping yourself in to your car there…):

1.  Prices.  (Sorry, but I’m gonna whip some math on you here.)  All rentals at Videoport are $3.50 (except for kids movies which are just a buck because we love kids and are so nice.)  Not too shabby.  But, you say, “Aren’t those prices more than that crappy selection of damaged DVDs I can get from a vending machine at the supermarket like gumballs?”, and yeah, that’s right (and we forgive you.)  But, and here comes the math, Videoport has a free rental special every day which cut the price, a lot.  On Monday-Thursday, there’s a 2-for-1 special which’ll get you (not to get too complicated this soon) two movies for the price of one, which cuts the price of each rental to $1.75.  And, on the weekends, you rent two movies and get 1 free, which makes each rental $2.33. (On Friday, you just get a free kids movie, again, because of us loving kids and stuff.)   Again, shabby, not too.  But, (and here comes more math, apologies), when you take advantage of the Videoport Savings Plans, the prices

One of our staff, days before succumbing to malnutrition.

spin downward into the “clerk starvation” zone.  See, if you put $20 on your rental account, we give you $25 in rental credit (a 20% discount), and if you put down $30, you get $40 in credit (a 25% discount.)  Yow.  So, breaking out the calculator, that makes a single $3.50 rental either $2.80 (with the 20% discount) or $2.63 (with the 25%-er).  But why rent only one movie when you can get at least one free movie every day?  So, on a 2-for-1 day, that makes each rental $1.40 or $1.31 each, and, on a rent 2, get 1 free day, either $1.86 or $1.74 each.  And there’s even a better deal…but I think we all need a break from the math for a second, so here’s a picture of Bruce Campbell as Elvis to restore your state of cool…

Stay cool, babies…

2. Even more prices.   Okay, more math.  But it saves you money, so we’re okay.  Say you want to take advantage of the super, insanely-economical new weekly special, which gets you three movies for seven days for $7.99.  That makes you smart.  And makes us even less money.  That’s $2.66 per movie to get them for a week.  Or, if you want to make us seem even more generous, you can look at it like 38 cents per movie per day.  Don’t worry, I checked it with a calculator just to determine how awesome a deal that was.  It came out “pretty awesome.”

3. Even more even more prices.  You can buy movies from Videoport.  “But,” you might say (and, again, we forgive you,) “I could order that movie from some huge internet corporation which will get it for me cheaper.  Plus, I enjoy undermining local businesses!”  Well, we can’t help you with that last part, but Videoport, while unable to provide the kind of retail discounts on movies due to the fact that we are not a huge, mega-conglomerate dedicated to driving local businesses under, offsets that with the fact that, for every movie you buy from us, we give you a free rental.  One might (and probably should) look at that as $3.50 off of the price of the movie you’re buying.  Plus, we don’t charge any shipping (or that mythical ‘handling’ nonsense.)

4. We make it easy to come back.  Maybe you lost a movie that one time.  Or your shiftless roommate did.  Or a dog ate it.  Whichever it was, you probably think that you owe Videoport a jillion dollars and that we’re gonna yell at you, make fun of you, and make you feel all bad and stuff.  Well, neither of those things is true, of course.  For one thing, the most we’re ever going to charge you for any movie is twenty bucks; we stop the meter there as, essentially, that’s what it’s gonna cost us to replace it.  And, as for the idea that we’re gonna mock and belittle you- well, that’s just bananas.  We want you to rent with us at Videoport.  We’re gonna welcome you back, give you a new Videoport card, and turn you loose back here in the store, amongst our unparalleled selection of the best, damned movies of the world.  Remember: we want you to rent here.

5. Videoport is the best movie store in the world.  I didn’t want to have to come right out and say it, but it’s true.  For 25 years now, Videoport’s been dedicated to collecting the best movies the world has ever seen, to hiring only knowledgeable movie geeks (who are also expertly trained, helpful, and pretty funny), and to maintaining its integrity in the face of all challengers.  Now Movie Gallery is , Hollywood Video is , Blockbuster is on its last, tottering, formica-clad legs, and we’re still here, and still doing things the way we always have, the right way.  Sure, there are challenges (in the form of an unethical internet company and some crappy vending machines), but there have always been challenges.  And Videoport is still here.  With your help, we always will be.

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15 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. 3.50 is still too much, since the free rental is usually a movie I’m not planning on. you forget to mention your overdue fees, which are usually pretty high compared to the other rental options not even charging them, and that if the free movie is overdue you get charged for that too. i think you guys are your own worst enemy sometimes, i really want to rent from you, but you make it very hard. lower your prices and get rid of the overdue fees, and maybe you’ll see more people coming in, otherwise i hate to say it, but you’ll be joining those “oh so evil” chain stores that are gone, soon enough.

    • Hi there. Thanks for reading and renting (when you do.) Sorry you feel that way, but we think our prices are reasonable and other retailers who have tried eliminating ‘late fees’ quickly found that was untenable (google “Blockbuster” and “class action law suit” about that sometime.) Additionally, things like Netflix (which recentlly raised its prices by 60%) have found, shockingly, that you actually need capital in order to survive. That being said, our exrta day charges are as low as anywhere else, and, we feel, quite reasonable. (Plus, we’re not jerks about it.) Videoport, staffed by the most dedicated, helpful and friendly people anywhere in this industry, will continue to provide the best customer service anywhere and listen to all reasonable ideas about how we do things. Again, thanks for reading, buy local, and thatnks for renting from Videoport (when you do.)

      • (Oh, and this site is maintained and written by the staff of Videoport, but is not representative of the owner, necessarily. We’re a dedicated bunch who do more for Videoport for free than most employees do when they get paid for it. That’s the kid of place we are trying to keep afloat.)

  2. Steve– I hope you’ll give Videoport another chance. Their rental fees and overdue charges are more than fair for a small business who rents a space and pays utilities, gainfully employs several of our fellow Portland folks, pay taxes in Portland and in Maine, and provides a great service that can’t be duplicated online or with a vending machine. If you’re comparing fees to Blockbuster– the last time I was there their rentals were definitely more expensive… Regarding the free movie not being one you’re “planning on”: please consider changing your thoughts about this! Sometimes, a movie you’re not “planning on” is one you may not have chosen, but becomes one of your favorites. Respectfully, Laura O.

  3. Please give videoport another chance. Its cheap compared to others.

  4. And you can bring your dog! A walk and a great movie selection plus an amazingly knowledgeable staff who have pointed out movies I would have never thought to rent but were great.

    • You’re great! Thanks for the niceness!

  5. Videoport has the BEST SELECTION you will find anywhere…
    That alone is worth the price of admission… They stock many rare & obscure titles of interest in any genre that you seek, as well as all the latest popular titles… I have never been disappointed with a choice I’ve made at Videoport, even if it was something I’ve never heard of before. Think of it as your favorite wine store, where you agree with the ‘tastes’ of the curator…

    • You are too kind… Also accurate.

  6. Please open a store in Knoxville TN. I miss video stores

    • Portland is very nice. Sadly we’ll have to ask you to come to us.

  7. Supporting local is important (enough with hipster chains opening in Old Port), easy and free parking at night and weekends, you can bring your dog, and staff that can help you find a movie based on that film you liked but can only vaguely remember names of actors or titles but can describe plot (sort of). Love, love!

    • Yeah! We agree with literally everything you just said!

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