People sayin’ nice stuff ’bout Videoport

Recently, we ran a contest on Facebook (look up ‘Videoport Jones’) asking people to answer the question ‘Why Videoport?’ and we got a ton o’responses from Videoport customers saying enough complimentary things about us to make Andy blush.  Sure, they were all vying for $25 bucks worth of free rentals, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t mean them.  We know you love us…

“When I lived in the West End, I loved that you once delivered a new video to my house within 15 minutes because the copy I checked out was busted. Also, after ten years away, you still had me in your system — no questions, no hassles. You rock!” -Mimi

>>>No, you rock.  Of course, we don’t deliver any more, but let’s just agree that both you and we rock and leave it at that.

“You are the best. Always have been.” – Eric

You're the best...arouuund...

>>>No, you’re the best.  And, although we don’t know absolutely everything about you, we’re willing to believe that you always have been, too.

“I know I’m ineligible for the prize, but it seems pretty obvious to me: Videoport has the best movies, the most knowledgeable and helpful service, the deepest commitment to independent business, AND Videoport sponsors great contests like this as a way to thank their customers.” -Elsa S. Customer

>>>Sure, she married to one of us (and picked him up while he was working at Videoport, and made him very happy, thank you very much), but that’s no reason to doubt her love…for Videoport I mean.

“You once maintained a small tin of squirrel brains in white gravy. The nutritional information on the side stated that this small container of protoplasm provided for over 1900% of the U.S. recommended daily allowance of sodium. This still ranks as the most amazing food crypto-thingology items I have ever seen. And, you guys rock.”- James

>>>Not to quibble, but, although we’d sell Andy for a can of squirrel brains, it was a can of pork brains in gravy.  Regardless, the foodstuff in question was ranked by Consumerist.com as the single most horrifyingly unhealthy food item in human history.  Also, it disappeared one day.  We’d really like that back.  And, as ever, you rock as well.

We'd like this back...

“I love Videoport because for twenty years, give or take a few, they have offered a selection of films you can’t find anywhere else. They have always made great recommendations. And when I was a neighbor of a VP employee he offered to return my videos so that they wouldn’t be late!!! Now that’s service.  Now….what do i get?! :-)” – Lynn

>>>Great selection, tremendous customer service, going above and beyond?  Yup, that sounds like us.  And…umm…nothing?  Sorry.

“I love Videoport because of this post!”- Scottie

>>>Well, we do more than make half-assed internet contests, but thanks, big guy.

“I feel like Videoport is more like a library than a video store. The staff are incredibly knowledgeable about movies and can (and do) make recommendations…recommendations that make you later think “Yes! This is exactly what I wanted to watch.” If I want to watch it, Videoport usually has it. Plus, I can bring my dog into the store (huge bonus) and he gets a cookie and a belly rub every time. ♥ Videoport.” -Jennifer

>>>We (especially that Andy) have had settle for giving cookies and belly rubs to dogs- at least half of the humans we try that on don’t approve.  Also, while libraries are nice and all, we’re gonna continue to charge money.

Rub my belly, Andy.

“Why Videoport? Because you have contests! You have souls! Because it’s still super cool to have a Videoport tag on your keychain, it’s a barometer of compatibility; hmm…yellow tag, yes, we can be friends. The Incredibly Strange & Foreign Films sections. The Secret Room, in plain sight. Videoport’s promo materials are all smart & funny – the blog… “- Jenny

>>>Yes!  You should only date people who have a Videoport tag on their keys.  Seriously…no one else.  And, hey, this is the blog!  And it is smart and funny!  Thank you for noticing!

“Why Videoport?  Let me count the ways!  Besides having an amazingly diverse and large collection of videos, in actual physical form, displayed in an open & organized manner, before any guest who enters, Videoport actually employees real local human beings… unlike the online, insta-button, or ATM demons that are committed to de-humanizing our entire planet. In fact, Videoport doesn’t just have any ol’ bums behind the counter, but a diverse, informed & quick responding staff that walks by and asks if they can help if you are standing there with a glazed over look in your eye, as the joys of too many choices of great video options might sometimes overwhelm the on-looker. I once walked in and said, “I want a couple movies that will make me cry this weekend, similar to that one about that author who killed…” He said, “The Hours” and I was like “exactly”, and he was able to recommend 4 for me to choose from and given brief descriptions and critiques upon my asking.  Isn’t that like a free ticket to a freak show with the stars being super psychic ethereal angels of the video world?  I’d write a hell of a lot more, but it is 11:57, so I have to send this in.” – Kathleen

>>>We are bums, but the good kind.  Also, we are psychic, but (after many, many disastrous trips to Scarborough Downs painfully demonstrated) only with regards to your ideal movie selections.  Way to go #8 horse, by the way…I love ramen noodles, for the rest of my life…

Videoport is the best movie store ever because you can count on the people checking you out to give you an honest, informed opinion of a movie. Sometimes that means honestly saying they haven’t seen it or it’s not that good, or discussing it with you for as long as you want on why it rocks! They greet customers by name…, and make recommendations based on your history and likes! Videoport has the best selection of foreign, sci-fi and hard to find movies. And while those big chains come and go – you guys have been a part of the local scene for over 20 years! We love you, Videoport!”- Lesley

>>>What can I say…agreed on all points.

“It is refreshing to know that while the majority of movie-watchers are renting their films out of vending machines and receiving them in the mail in 1-2 business days, there is still an alternative for the rest of us. That alternative is,of course, Videoport! One of the main reasons Videoport is preferable to these alternatives is the fact that you get to physically pick out your movie. (Though it is technically a physical movement, clicking your mouse doesn’t count). I am confident that the art of picking out a movie is best spent wondering through aisle after aisle while making sure you’ve checked every inch of every shelf. Scrolling down the sidebar of a website just does not do it for everyone and Videoport knows that. Additionally, there is something to be said about a place that can appreciate the fact that not everyone has donated their VCR’S to goodwill. With all of the blu-ray hype these days, it seems as though people are forgetting more and more about the little old VHS. Not everyone needs to have the luxury of skipping a scene in an instant, and somehow, I have grown to find the obnoxious whirring of the rewinding VHS to be a comforting sound. Plus, having the patience to wait the 3-8 minutes for my movie to rewind is something I’m quite proud of. It is delightful to see that there is a place that understands the importance of keeping the VHS alive. After all, I still maintain that the VHS is to the movie lover as vinyl is to the music lover. Debate it if you’d like, but I’m just as proud of my VHS collection as you are of your vinyl. Finally, Videoport is the ultimate place to be because of the wonderful staff that have little trouble in answering questions and suggesting ridiculously perfect films for your own personal enjoyment. Also, the “free rental every day” deal is great too! You’re true blue, Videoport, you’re true blue!”- Jamie

>>>Yeah!  We are awesome!  And, um, please ignore that used VHS bin by the counter…

“Why Videoport?!?! I mean, I can’t believe you’re even asking me that. For real, you want to know why you should rent at Videoport?!?! Jeez… I mean… Obviously…. They’re great. I mean, obviously, they’re a local business, so… duh… Have you been to Blockbuster or one of those other lame-ass chains lately?!?!? They blow, and they charge too much. So, in conclusion, Videoport is the best, and I fully support their nomination for Movie Store In Portland Maine that Rents Movies That Are Good. And That Has a Staff Who Is the SH*T. And Who Forgives My Late Fees Sometimes If I Ask Real Nice.”- Laura

>>>I KNOW, right?  And we are the sh*t…again, thank you for noticing.  Also, I’d block out the word ‘blockbuster’ if they weren’t going to go out of business any second now.

“I could mention how well stocked Videoport is with all sorts of rare, foreign, and cult films. I could tell countless stories of rare finds, from videocassettes of Return of the Living Dead, back when its release on DVD was held up due to legal troubles, to Johnny Guitar. I could say that it is because I know no matter what film I hear about, from silent films from the Soviet era to Norwegian Zombie films, I can count on it being there. I could also mention how it sometimes has things that have not even been released yet, like the copy of Che I watched last winter, testifying to some localized rupture in the space-time continuum.  However, these are not the real reasons that I continue to eschew Netf__x*, and get my videos from Videoport. The real reason is the Videoport has personality. Its column in The Phoenix is consistently the funniest thing in that paper. (Yes, I am aware that it is actually an advertisement). I keep a stack of VideoReports next to my TV for future recommendations. These publications make me feel that Videoport is made up of people, people who love movies. I am not one to ask for recommendations from the people at the store, generally I know what I want when I go to Videoport. Or sometimes I just want to wander around the store, waiting to stumble across a movie that looks interesting (something that seems impossible to do online). Despite the fact that I never take advantage of it, I like knowing that there people there who could answer any question I might have.  In the future we might all get our movies through direct on demand streaming video, and our recommendations will come from computer programs that scrupulously monitor our choices, emails, and facebook profiles to predict our tastes. Until that day comes, however, I will continue to get movies from Videoport. (But seriously guys, you could do something about this nightmare scenario: if you can get movies months before they are released, couldn’t you go back in time and destroy Netf__x or something? There are countless movies about this sort of thing, middle aisle.) -Jason

>>>*Yeah, I bleeped out the ‘N’ word.  And, if I may, here’s an idea, don’t mention that word while you’re in Videoport.  It’s our mortal freaking enemy.  It’s the bland, corporate, monolithic entity that’s trying to destroy us and every other independent movie store in the world.  And, oh yes, we definitely do mind if you ask to check your ‘N’-word queue on our in-store computer; it’s pretty shocking that you don’t know that…  And, yes, we are working on sending Andy back in time to destroy the ‘N’ word…but you didn’t hear it from me…

Thank you all for all your kind words.  Videoport is hanging tough.  We’re playing it smart.  And we need you.  All of you.  We believe in what we do, and we thank you for supporting our love of movies and our general silliness.  Thanks guys and gals.  Seriously…

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