VideoReport #210

Volume CCX- Godzilla vs. Cinderella
For the Week of 8/25/09

Videoport brings you the best movies in the history of the world, all at your fingertips, and at the best prices anywhere.  Oh, and also the worst movies in the history of the world.  And the most indifferent.  We’ve got a lot of movies, is what we’re sayin’.
Middle Aisle Monday.  (Get one free rental from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)
>>>Ed the Renter and Anime Ed suggest the following from the Incredibly Strange Section: Ed the Renter-the journey takes us to-AMERICA!
American Pimp– This is what a good documentary should be, a nonjudgemental profile of a subject everyone has an opinion on but few know. Excellent film- highly recommended.
The American Astronaut– Kind of a cross between Dr. Horrible’s Singalong Blog and ‘Firefly’ done on a budget of about $5.  I loved this one. Has to been seen- can’t be described in a way that does it justice.
American Zombie– Nice little indie putting yet another twist on the well worn Z genre. Nice Blair Witch references.
American Cannibal– I liked this one also. A good examination of the reality tv craze. Kinda weak ending though.
American Mullet– Ehhh, how many times can you hear interviews with those who love them and those who don’t. Kinda boring.
An American Carol– Wow did this suck. You’d think it would be easy to make fun of liberals, but these guys really missed the mark.  Advice to the right in Hollywood- next time try to make your comedy/parody, oh I don’t know, funny.
Anime Ed- (Hey there are cartoons along this road too.)
American Pop is great and it gives me the opportunity to discuss Ralph Bakshi, one of America’s greatest animators. This guy was making feature length cartoons for grown ups back when no else was.  He also created ‘The Mighty Heroes’ the best of the Terry Toons creations.  He made the first serious adaptation of Lord of the Rings, and employed every great animator of the 90’s when he made ‘The New Adventures of Mighty Mouse’.  Check out all his stuff- A. P. of course, Heavy Traffic (my personal fave), Fire and Ice ( which contains a doc on Frank Frazetta), Coonskin (aka Street Fight), Fritz the Cat and Cool World.  For the truly curious, you can see a glimpse into his mad genius by watching ‘Fire Dogs 2’ on the ‘Lost Episodes of Ren and Stimpy’.  John Kricfalusi was one of the aforementioned 90’s animators who had Ralph for a boss and he pays crude tribute to the big guy on that one. BANZAI!


Tough and Triassic Tuesday.  (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)

>>> Videoport customer Mitch suggests Jurassic Park (in Action/Adventure).  Jurassic Park is, by now, a contemporary classic. A ridiculously-f**king-giant-asaurus blockbuster that screams “SPIELBERG! SPIELBERG! SPIELBERG” for miles on end. And it really kinda deserves it. The film is pure entertainment from start to finish; combining adventure, horror, and wonder in the vein of Raiders of the Lost Ark. It might just be the fact that I loved this film as a kid, but goddamn, it holds up. And the special effects are more pleasing to watch than those in any recent Stephen Sommers flick, perhaps because so much time and care was spent on making the thrills deliver. Plus, with this much Goldblum, how can you go wrong? (Wait… let’s not answer that immediately).
Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental.)
>>>Videoport Customer Mitch suggests White Men Can’t Jump (in Comedy). Ron Shelton is at his best when it comes to making sports films, and this is (in my opinion) his finest achievement. It is a basketball movie, a buddy comedy, a romance, a drama, a satire on race relations, and a character study all crammed into a two-hour running time with time to spare for a game of “Jeopardy!” and about ten minutes’ worth of “Yo mama!” jokes. It shouldn’t really work, but it does, thanks to the spirited performances of Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes, and Rosie Perez. There is enough rapid-fire dialogue and surprisingly deep philosophy to allow for multiple viewings; and the sports cinematography is excellent. The bittersweet, unconventional ending also sticks out as memorable.


Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)

>>> Videoport customer Mitch suggests The Shining (in Horror).  The Shining is one of my favorite horror films. I first watched it on TV in an after-midnight showing when I was thirteen-ish. I had the hell scared out of me, but in that wonderful way that made we want to watch it again immediately after. I had read the book beforehand, and this is a good case of the book and the movie existing in two completely different realms. Stephen King writes a very thrilling ghost story with well-rounded characters. The film features almost no character development; Jack (both Torrance and Nicholson) looks psycho from the start, and he’s the only character who actually changes somewhat. Nevertheless, the movie is brilliantly cinematic and a fun all-around creepshow. Random guy in a dog suit!
Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).
>>>Andy suggests The Rocketeer. According to the IMDB, Johnny Depp was nearly cast in the lead role of this movie. His loss. Johnny Depp could’ve been that much cooler. Instead, Bill Campbell cemented his place in film history by taking the role. Also starring the ever-awesome Timothy Dalton. And Jennifer Connelly before she started winning Oscars all over the place. Speaking of winning, The Rocketeer is a winner.
Having a Wild Weekend.  (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)
>>>For Saturday, Videoport customer Mitch suggests Hamlet 2 (in Comedy).  Hamlet 2  is, by all means, a fun film. Rough, rude, and featuring more Steve Coogan nudity than was asked for, this makes for great late-night comedy. Starting out a little slow, the film builds momentum that pays off with a climactic, crazy, ingenious riff on what-the-hell-were-they-thinking high school performances. However, the very ending of the film is a letdown compared to the rest of the show. The last few minutes feel too slapdash, awkward, and forced. But the rest of the film is just fine, and it’s incredible how David Arquette manages to steal his scenes by standing around and doing absolutely nothing. PS: Coogan did the awesome narration.
>>>For Sunday, Videoport customer Mitch* suggests Sideways (in Comedy).  Sideways is one of those movies I love to watch again and again. It works both as a highly amusing character comedy and a subtle romantic drama. With lots and lots of wine. Jeez. This is a wine-filled film, and I’m sure that connoisseurs get the biggest kick out of it. Anyway, please watch this for the sharp dialogue, two wonderful monologues (one early on by Virginia Madsen and a final showstopper by Thomas Haden Church), Giamatti’s brilliant performance that somehow failed to get an Oscar nomination, and the best comedic golfing scene this side of Caddyshack. And if you have the DVD, then by all means listen to the commentary Giamatti and Church. It’s freaking hilarious.
*Editor’s note:  You may have noticed that Videoport customer, and all-around cool dude, Mitch has no fewer than, oh, eighty-seven movie reviews in this week’s VideoReport alone.  Plus Anime Ed/Ed the Renter and Videoport’s Andy have one each…not too shabby.  Way to go fellas!  They’re great, and they make that much less work for me.  If you’d like to get in on the movie-reviewin’ action, please send your submissions to us at denmn@hotmail.com, our Myspace page http://www.myspace.com/videoportjones, our Facebook page ‘Videoport Jones” or, if you’re not feeling the whole technology thing, you can just drop off your movie and TV reviews, essays, movie lists, or whatever to us at the store.  The VideoReport is a place for Videoport’s customers and staff to share our opinions about, and love of, movies, so don’t be shy.

New Releases this week at Videoport: Adventureland (director Greg Motolla [Superbad, The Daytrippers] brings us this charming and funny autobiographical tale about a young guy who takes a summer job at a crummy amusement park), ‘Scrubs’- season 8 (the last [?] season of the very funny indeed medical sitcom brings the story to a close for J.D. and the gang at Sacred Heart;  WARNING- the last episode made me cry as much as did the last episode of ‘Six Feet Under’), Landscape #2 (the bodies start piling up after some art thieves accidentally lift some deep, dark [Nazi] secrets along with a famous painting in this Slovenian thriller), The Informers (Mickey Rourke, Harvey Keitel, and a cast of depressed, drugged-out jerks [the characters, not the actors…as far as I know] bring this 1980s Bret Easton Ellis [American Psycho] novel to life), Trouble the Water (shocking, moving documentary by and about those left high and dry [well, not dry] after Hurricane Katrina), Duplicity (Julia Roberts and Clive Owen play a pair of dueling, smooching spies spying on each other and other spies…while spying in this slick thriller from the guy who directed the excellent Michael Clayton), Sunshine Cleaning (Amy Adams and Emily Blunt play two downtrodden sisters who try to pick up their lives by opening the titular crime scene cleaning business;  also with Steve Zahn and Alan Arkin),  The Hannah Montana Movie (some people are very, very happy that Videoport now carries this movie…and we are happy for them…), Harvard Defeats Yale 29-29 (documentary about a legendary football game between the two brainy schools features former student Tommy Lee Jones amongst others), ‘Californication’- season 2 (David Duchovny is a sleazy, oversexed minor celebrity in LA;  he also stars in this TV series…ZING!), ‘House’- season 5 (the ever-formidable Hugh Laurie continues to limp, grump, and diagnose like a sonofagun in this medical series), Fighting (Channing Tatum is a young man of pugilistic bent in this film…about fighting!).

New Arrivals this week at Videoport: ‘New Tricks’- season 1 (another new British mystery series about a gang of retired cops who just can’t give up on fighting crime;  now, it’s more like a hobby), ‘Life’- season 2 (Damian Lewis returns as the cop, freed after being wrongfully imprisoned for years, who gets back on the job), ‘Lie to Me’- season 1 (the always-compelling Tim Roth slums it as a psychologist investigator who can read people’s body language to tell when they’re lying in this American series), Yellowstone Cubs (baby bears are so cute…right up until they start ripping your faces off; get it for your own little budding Timothy Treadwell in Videoport’s children’s section!), The Final Inch (Oscar-nominated documentary about the worldwide effort to eradicate polio), The Search for Robert Johnson (documentary about the titular blues legend…not Portland’s blues legend Samuel James, but still pretty good…), ‘Smallville’- season 8 (isn’t Clark Kent like 25 by now?  Get off your lazy, superpowered butt, strap on a damned cape, and start beating people up already).

Free Money at Videoport!  I don’t see why not! Yup, Videoport has two payment plans whereby you can get yourself some free money, thereby saving yourself 20-25% off of our already ridiculously-reasonable prices.  Either pay $20 onto your Videoport account and we’ll give you $25 worth of rental credit, or pay $30 and get yourself a whopping $40 worth of rental credit.  And rental credit never expires, and is good for all rental and extra day rental costs!  There’s really no earthly reason not to do this.  Unless you don’t want to save any money.  In which case, well, you must be rich.  Is being rich nice?  We’ve always wondered…

Free Parking at Videoport?  Oh, okay… Yup, parking in Portland can be, well, challenging, so Videoport offers these simple tips to make it that much more bearable.  1.  The parking lot behind the building is open after 5pm on weekdays and all day on the weekends for free ONE HOUR parking.   Just pull on in, patronize us, Bull Moose Music, Casablanca Comics, get some gelato…and, hey, feel free to shoot a dirty look at anyone taking up your coveted parking spot back there for more than an hour, as they have no soul.  2.  Parking meters are inactive, useless, and silly after 6pm Monday-Saturday and all day on Sunday.  3.  Videoport has Park & Shop stickers which will get you a free hour of parking at any downtown parking garage, including the courthouse garage which is, no joke, a minute’s walk away.  Just ask us!

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Published in: on August 25, 2009 at 6:17 pm  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Miley Rocks!!!


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