VideoReport #354

Volume CCCLIV- Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Batman

For the Week of 5/29/12

Videoport is local, independent, knowledgeable, helpful, inexpensive, and has all the movies you could possibly want. We’re not trying to be braggy. Just stating facts.

Middle Aisle Monday! Take a free rental from the Science Fiction, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation, or Staff Picks sections with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!

You guys know you get a free rental with every movie you buy from Videoport, right? Just checkin’…

>>>Dennis suggests taking advantage of Videoport! We love it! Here’s how- there are a couple of ways to get yourself free money at Videoport, thus knocking our already-low prices down to the “clerk starvation zone!” Yeah! When you pre-pay money on your Videoport account, we’ll give you some extra money for free. $20 buys you $25 in rental credit, and $30 buys you $40 in rental credit. (Plus it’s good for any pesky extra day charges as well.) Look, you’re going to spend your entertainment dollar here at Videoport anyway, so why not pre-pay, get some extra money for free and just have it sitting there waiting for you? Or, if you’re a math person, why not look at it as either a 20% or 25% discount on what you were going to spend anyway? Either way, you’re taking advantage of us…and we love it!

Tough and Triassic Tuesday! Give yourself a free rental from the Action or Classics section with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!

>>>Elsa S. Customer suggests Gypsy (in Musicals- new on DVD at Videoport!) Man, parents can really screw you up, huh? In 1962′s Gypsy, hectoring stage mother (and frustrated would-be performer) Rose Horvick won’t let anything stop her in the climb to vicarious fame — not her daughter’s reluctance, not the lackluster shows June puts on in shabby theaters, not the rough life of the road or the toll it takes on her children and her love life, not even June’s elopement when she gets fed up with the whole biz. No, Rose just turns her attentions to her shy second-banana daughter, Louise (Natalie Wood)… and I guess we all know how that works out, since Louise goes on to become world-famous burlesque artist Gypsy Rose Lee. It’s a bittersweet story of unsought success and family friction, suitable for the wry talents of legendary songwriter Stephen Sondheim, and many of the songs he wrote for Gypsy went on to become familiar standards, including “Some People,” “Let Me Entertain You” (see below), and “Everything’s Comin’ Up Roses.” The great Rosalind Russell (His Girl Friday, Auntie Mame, Picnic) plays the complex role of Rose to the hilt, sometimes giving us glimpses of vulnerability and fear under the dogged determination that protects it. For all this complexity and bittersweetness, the movie has plenty of brassy fun, too. For my money, “You Gotta Get a Gimmick,” where the brazen workaday strippers showcase their, um, talents in an off-key bump ‘n’ grind number, is the best five minutes in the flick.

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday! You’ve got a free rental coming from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with any other paid rental! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!

>>>Dennis suggests a Paul Schneider marathon! Yeah! Who’s with me? Wait- you don’t know who Paul Schneider is? Well, pull up a chair. Schneider started out an actor pal of indie director David Gordon Green (in the days when Green seemed to want to be the next Terrence Malick instead of hanging out with the Apatow crowd in movies like Pineapple Express, The Sitter, ‘Eastbound and Down’ and the regrettable Your Highness.) Schneider had a small character role in Green’s excellent George Washington, but Green built his next movie All the Real Girls around Schneider, and introduced us all to a uniquely-compelling indie leading man. Although not part of the mumblecore empire, All the Real Girls is definitely a good fit for Duplass Brothers fans. In it, Schneider plays a small town lothario, a scruffily-handsome, soft-spoken charmer whose aimless life of drinking and bedding seemingly every woman in his narrow little world perks up with the arrival of his best friend’s little sister, a college girl played by Zooey Deschanel. As the two warily circle each other, Schneider’s carelessly-promiscuous character starts to feel things for the new girl, and about himself. That’s it, really- in the tradition of indie coming-of-age dramas everywhere, there’s not a lot of plot in All the

This is the guy…

Real Girls; it’s all about the characters, and while there’s some fine, low-key, fully-inhabited work by the likes of Danny McBride, Shea Whigham, and, as Schneider’s sad-eyed mother who loves her son but knows him all too well, the ever-perfect Patricia Clarkson, the movie belongs to Deschanel and Schneider. She’s much more rumpled and appealingly, yes, real than her current persona might suggest, and Schneider is simply brilliant. Just look at the scene where he responds to Zooey’s declaration of love with surprising anger- that’s a leading man right there. Sadly, the world didn’t exactly catch Schneider fever, but he’s got two excellent supporting roles in the excellent indies Away We Go and Lars and the Real Girl. In each, he plays a harried,sensible brother dealing with hard times, and in each, he’s magnetic, in a very sensible, ordinary way, if that makes any sense. Away We Go, especially, has a picaresque structure that encourages scene-stealing, and Schneider sure runs off with his, a monologue where he worries about being a father to his daughter, now that his unreliable wife has run off. Schneider’s career took an unexpected turn when he was cast alongside Amy Poehler in her (again, excellent) sitcom ‘Parks and Recreation.’ It was a little jarring seeing such an indie fixture, and someone whose onscreen persona was so refreshingly-un-actorly get such a high profile gig. On the show (about the inner workings of the titular government body of tiny Pawnee, Indiana), Schneider played city planner Mark Brendanowicz, a laid-back, relaxedly-womanizing bureaucrat who more often than not served as the laconic voice of reason to Poehler’s daffily-enthusiastic Leslie Knope. Unfortunately again, Schneider was written out of the show at the end of the second season, under mysterious circumstances. Actually, they’re not mysterious so much as I don’t know what they were, but I suspect that, as the show became a bit broader (in a good way), Mark’s level-headedness sort of made him the odd man out. And while his replacements, Rob Lowe and Adam Scott, are stellar additions to Pawnee’s increasingly-weird little world, I miss the guy. So for now, Schneider’s just back out there making the indie world a little more interesting…

Thrifty Thursday! Rent one, get a free rental from any other section in the store! OR Get any three non-new releases for seven days for seven bucks!

>>>Elsa S. Customer suggests Capturing the Friedmans (in Documentary.) Man, parents can really screw you up, huh? If Gypsy (see above) gives that message in brassy musical numbers, 2003 documentary Capturing the Friedmans imbues it with a slow sense of creeping dread and sorrow. Director Andrew Jarecki initially planned to make a documentary about New York area’s birthday clowns, including popular performer David Friedman, when he stumbled upon something much more painful. Friedman’s father and younger brother were prosecuted for several unsavory acts, including dozens of counts of molestation and possession of child pornography… and home movies taken by the Friedmans during that period captured their most private moments on tape. It’s an examination of the slippery nature of truth and the crumbling, contradictory arguments that any legal case rests upon, as well as a glimpse into the painful world of an unhappy family. (Gypsy and Capturing the Friedmans make a weird double-feature. Of course, both are testaments to the damage wrought on children by their parents… but, oddly enough, they share a song. Seeing David Friedman as a birthday clown singing “Let Me Entertain You” is eerie enough under the circumstances presented in the film — but when you know that the song he’s banging out was originally written by Stephen Sondheim for terrified tomboy Louise to belt out uneasily in the scene where she reluctantly strip for the first time before a packed burlesque house, it becomes positively bizarre.)

Free Kids Friday! One free rental from the Kids section, no other rental necessary!

>>> It’s a free movie, no other rental necessary. Find that deal somewhere else…

Having a Wild Weekend! Rent two movies, and get a third one for free from any section!

>>>For Saturday, Dennis suggests a ‘manly men vs. the outdoors’ double feature with The Grey (in Action/Adventure) and The Edge (in Mystery/Thriller.)Sure, you might call these both “manly, late-middle-aged British men vs. nature” flicks as well, but I’m not gonna be the one to say that to Messers Liam Neeson and Anthony Hopkins. In the recent The Grey, Neeson plays a depressed but manly oil pipeline wolf sniper (what? that’s a job) whose flight home crashes in the unforgiving Alaskan wilderness forcing him to face off against a pack of ravenous wolves. And in The Edge, Anthony Hopkins plays a bookish billionaire whose flight goes down (alongside Alec Baldwin and a guy who might as well have ‘bear chow’ stenciled on his sweater) forcing him to face off against one seriously determined bear. In each, everyone looks to the Brit to save the day, since they’re the only ones who know how to start a fire, navigate the wilderness, or seemingly tie their own shoes. Along the way, there’s some fun roughing it, McGuyver-style survival tips, a fair amount of trudging, the occasional fur and fangs attack to liven things up and, also in each, some Hemingway-style macho pronouncements from our heroes. I kid the slumming, overqualified thespians trudging through the tundra, however- both movies are actually a lot of fun. If I had to pick one, I guess it’d be The Edge, as it throws a few more twists into the formula (and Baldwin’s a lot more fun to watch than the interchangeable roughnecks Neeson’s got to work with), plus the legendary (and real) Bart the bear is a lot more formidable than the oft-cgi-looking wolves in The Grey. However, if it came right down to a “respected, almost-elderly British dude vs. a ravenous beast” showdown, my money’s on Liam; seriously, is that guy seven feet tall or what? Yup, if you need a guy to punch a wolf in the face, Liam’s your man.

>>>For Sunday,Elsa S. Customer suggests a Christopher Lee movie marathon!Happy

Hello, Elsa…

Birthday, Christopher Lee! That’s Sir Christopher Lee, or Christopher Frank Carandini Lee, Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, Member of the Most Venerable Order of the Hospital of St. John of Jerusalem, and holder of the Guinness record for most film roles EVER. That’s Christopher ****ing LEE: Francisco Scaramanga of the Bond flick Man with the Golden Gun, Count Dooku of Star Wars II & III, Saruman of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the great monster (opposite Peter Cushing as Dr. Frankenstein) in Curse of Frankenstein, The Jabberwock in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, Lord Summerisle of Summerisle in the original The Wicker Man* —- and, y’know, HE’S DRACULA. Happy birthday, Mister Sir Commander Lee, sir. And many happy returns.

*Plus, check out the even-more-bananas recent sequel to The Wicker Man, The Wicker Tree in the Incredibly Strange section! (Is Christopher Lee in it? Watch it and see…)

We suck! You get it…

New Releases this week at Videoport: ‘True Blood’- season 4 (Anna Paquin and all thos shirtless guys keep on sucking! Blood. You know, because of being vampires and everything. You get it…), Man on a Ledge (Sam Worthington plays the titular dude on a thing in this thriller about a guy [on a ledge] whose request for a certain negotiator [the ever-watchable Elizabeth Banks] may mask an ulterior motive or two), Coriolanus (Ralph Fiennes directs and stars in this adaptation of one of Shakespeare’s lesser-known tragedies, a bloody drama about a professional soldier whose overweening pride and inability to play politics brings about some serious carnage; costarring Gerard Butler, Jessica Chastain, and legendary Vanessa Redgrave as his terrifying mom), Goon (surprisingly decent reviews for this raucous hockey comedy about a mild-mannered dude with a real talent for ice-fighting; costarring Liev Schreiber and Jay Baruchel), We Need to Talk About Kevin (from director Lynn Ramsey [Ratcatcher, Morvern Callar] comes this gripping drama about a long-suffering mother [the always-riveting Tilda Swinton] as she attempts to come to grips with the fact that her increasingly-troublesome son might just be a psycho; costarring John C. Reilly), Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (in the long and storied tradition of rushing a cheapie knockoff into production to cash in on an upcoming Hollywood blockbuster comes this historical horror mashup that is in no way similar to the upcoming Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter; I’m shocked that you’d even suspect such a thing…), The Aggression Scale (some hitmen and some teenagers fight over five hundred grand in this nasty-looking thriller that features a mini Twin Peaks reunion with costars Dana Ashbrook [Bobby Briggs] and the ever-awesome Ray Wise [Leland Palmer] ), Harry Belafonte: Sing Your Song (if you don’t love Harry Belafonte, I’m pretty sure you might actually be Hitler; for all you non-Hitlers, this is a documentary about the man’s life), ‘Monroe’- season 1 (excellent British character actor James Nesbitt [Jekyll, Murphy's Law] tries to pull a Hugh Laurie, starring as a brilliant, egotistical surgeon in this BBC medical comedy/drama), Michael (super-creepy stuff from Germany; a mild-mannered accountant secretly holds a ten year old boy captive in his basement for several months), ‘Wallander’ (after checking out the quite good British detective series starring Kenneth Branagh, why not rent the original Swedish version, now available at Videoport! We rock!)

New Arrivals on Blu Ray this week at Videoport: True Blood- season 4, We Need to Talk About Kevin, The Aggression Scale, Velvet Goldmine, Blue Velvet, Coriolanus.

You know you get a free rental every time you buy a movie from Videoport, right? Just another reason to choose Videoport over some crappy corporate chain nonsense…

Yeah, this is us hanging out with John Waters. No big deal…

 Write for the VideoReport!

Send your movie or TV reviews (or pretty much anything else movie or TV-related) to us at denmn@hotmail.com, or our Facebook page “Videoport Jones.” Or just drop it by the store, if you’re not into that whole computer fad…

You really shoudn’t care if Videoport has the final season of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus”

Buy this from us. We'll give you a free rental. Which you can use to rent "The Life of Brian."

Videoport loves Monty Python. That may be self-evident, of course, since we are Videoport, and have a sense of humor, and are not stupid. Still, some people occasionally remark upon the fact that we don’t currently stock the last season of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” (and haven’t for some time.) I dunno if they died (because someone TOUCHED THE FREAKING SHINY SIDE) or because we’ve, for some reason, never had it. Regardless, I can understand your confusion, your disappointment, perhaps even your burgeoning, Hulk-like fury. And I cower before it.

But I’m here to tell you to calm down.

Recently, I made the plunge and finally broke down and bought the entire series on DVD (and of course, Videoport will give you a free rental if you do the same from us- PLUG!) And so the lovely Ms. Elsa S. Customer and I have spent a nerdily-delirious week plowing through the entire, giggle-fit-inducing, awe-inspiring sketch comedy legend, because we are Python fanatics and comedy geeks (and because my lovely wife indulges my geekiness to an almost saintly degree.)

Until we came to season 4.

A couple of facts you might not know about this, final, Python season:

1. John Cleese had left the show after season 3.

and

2. It will bum you out.

See, Cleese (ever the most restless and prickly member of the group) took a long look after the third series completed and thought they were starting to repeat themselves and that he wanted to do other things. Well, he did (it was a little show called “Fawlty Towers”), and he was, it turns out, completely

The missing piece? Yeah, maybe...

right. As E & I eagerly revisited season 4 (which I only vaguely remembered, relying as I did on the patchwork of late night PBS episodes I’d seen as a lad)…oh dear. I count about three and a half acceptable sketches in the entire series. It’s pretty shocking, really. It doesn’t reduce my admiration and love of the Pythons (or the entity called “Python”) one bit; it just makes me wish I had never seen any of it. So here, in lieu of you having to go through any of this personally, is my semi-detailed rundown of the last, best-swept-under-the-rug season of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus.” (Any attempt to get you to stop asking us to get this season on DVD is just a bonus. Trust me- you don’t want it.)

Season 4, episode 1: “The Golden Age of Ballooning” The Montgolfier brothers- “This always felt more like a rehearsal”- Elsa. Palin’s suspiciously Scottish Louis XIV is hilarious. The pace on the whole, however, is a bit slack. The party political broadcast from the Norwegian Party is okay. The whole ballooning thing running through the episode recalls the stylistic, episode-long experiment that was the “Cycling Tour” episode, which is part of the problem (and what John Cleese cited as one of his reasons for wanting to leave)- by this point it seems like Python is recycling some ideas.

Season 4, episode 2: “The Michael Ellis/The Ant” episode. The end credits come right after the opening credits. Is this the first time they’ve done that? The silly department store recycles several other “silly customer service” sketches, recycles the long-form all-episode idea again, and yet it builds up its own eerie, unnerving momentum in absurdity. In this case, the hollow spaces around the laughs are largely intentional, and serve to enhance the episode’s general air of insane creepiness. Terry Gilliam appears in a smallish role , but it’s larger than we’re used to; it’s a role Cleese might have done and it just points up the fact that TG is not really a performer. On the other hand, Idle, anchoring the episode as the bewildered ant enthusiast/complainer gives what I think is his best performance of the series. Bewilderment suits him- it serves to temper his slight propensity to go for the joke. And the meta, multiple-choice ending anticipated Waynes World by 30 years or so. “Yeah, I think seeing this episode as a kid single-handedly prepared me for Mulholland Dr.“- Elsa.

Season 4, episode 3: “The Light Entertainment War.” I’m gradually becoming aware of the absence of Cleese’s voice. The flier jargon sketch is the first one this season that seems up to scratch, like a classic Python sketch of old. Although now the Palin-Chapman-Jones-Idle quartet grouping in each sketch is looking a little thin sometimes (and the ascended screen time of Gilliam and a larger number of speaking extras, again just points out the severe Cleese-lack.) The military courtroom scene drags on in shrill repetition, and gets a little obvious before heading off into an absurdity that, for a change, seems a little desperate rather than audacious. Credits come in the middle. The TV executive sketch just plods along. The the “woody and tinny” sketch: all about Chapman’s performance selling an absurd but weirdly resonant idea. The audience titters uncertainly over the Neil Innes song at the end; it’s a lovely little song, but I get the point. Moderately-funny, class-conscious credits come out of nowhere at the end.

Season 4, episode 4: “Hamlet.” He’s tired of being asked to do his “greatest hits” monologues and goes to his psychiatrist to complain. But he’s not Hamlet, he’s an actor playing Hamlet. Or is he? Python sketches work best when their randomness emerges from a situation with some internal logic. It does morph into a funnier bit about bogus psychiatrists who keep asking the same question, “Now you’ve got the girl right there on the bed, she’s all ready, and her feet are up on the mantelpiece” which eventually works up some good ol’ loony momentum. Then to Idle with another limp set-up (about a talk show about sitting comfortably in chairs unwilling to change its format when WWIII breaks out) which throws out to Graham on location in a comfy chair on a bridge interrupted by Palin’s unscrupulous bobby who keeps wantonly stealing things from passers-by. Palin, as ever, is effortlessly funny as a fast-gabbling Cockney type, but the sketch, along with the successive pan over to Carol Cleveland and Jones making out on the bridge and creating a link to the next scene is, again, full of dead spots, and slackly paced. That scene, with Graham as Carol’s father who’s come to live with them (and share their bed) has a solid laugh, when you see what he’s been making in the dark, and then the credits come in halfway through again. Loop back to Hamlet, whose Ophelia asks the same rude psychiatrist question. Then a boxer sketch, with Palin’s pugnacious promoter talking fast and ignoring the fact that his boxer’s head keep getting punched off. Again, Palin’s always entertaining doing this type, but it’s pretty thin (and there are more ascended extras that add nothing, and small, but bigger than previous, roles for Carol and Gilliam [in a weirdly unnecessary blackface bit] which serve to point up the thinness.) Then, after a nothing scene where doctors listen to the next (headless) fight on radio, the Python’s literally resurrect John Cleese via a snatch of an earlier pepperpot sketch with he and Graham talking about shopping. Eek. Then more current pepperpot action, worth a chuckle. This segues to a series of talking heads enthusiastically promoting the economic opportunities of the town of Epsom, which just made me think of the much better intrusion of the town of Malden into the “Njorl’s Saga” sketch. Bummer. Then an extended Idle interviewer sketch making the comic point that jockeys are short. Umm. The Queen Victoria steeplechase is brief, but funny. Now the sport commentators (including another ascended extra) are dressed as Queen Victoria, to little effect, really. Then back to Hamlet, all actors dressed as QV. Connie Booth is there as Ophelia…but not her husband.

Season 4, episode 4: “Mr. Neutron.”We open with Michael Palin (doing his Arthur Putey voice and emphasizing the word “box”) announcing a royals-attended opening to a new mailbox. Then repeating his speech in French and emphasizing the word “boite.” It’s fine. Then he starts in German, which gets

The worst Python episode ever? Yeah...

a laugh- I like it when a joke goes on and on to the point that it’s not funny, and then keeps going until the funny comes around again. Graham comes off a train as the ludicrously-obviously-costumed supervillain Mr. Neutron who seems quite nice enough sitting down to tea with his boring neighbors. Some Dr. Strangelovian American generals (Palin, gabbling amusingly and sniffing his armpit) panicking. Meanwhile, Mr. Neutron remains complacently chatty with neighbors. Another long-form sketch is dragging, as Idle’s soldier is sent to the Yukon to find the ex-secret agent to fight Mr. Neutron, but instead finds Graham as a gay lumberjack ballet fan and Graham as a…sigh. This is just dragging, man. They’re spending a lot on location shooting this season (and even Gilliam’s animations, though more infrequent, are more elaborate), but it’s all to very little purpose, as the writing just is not here. Plus, the colors are more garish, the direction more prosaic somehow- it’s sapping energy from almost every scene. It’s depressing. Then an utterly pointless scene with Terry Jones as an Italian violinist singing tunelessly for what seems like ten minutes. The US bombs the world to get Mr. Neutron, but he’s in love with the neighbor’s cleaning lady (Terry J.) A long scene watching the money spent on a dog puppet ramble on. More bombing, the world is destroyed. Idle sums up the rest of the plot from the “Radio Times” which bears the sadly-inaccurate headline “Python Soars.” A tag with Michael in funny eyeballs is funny, for a moment. The end. Of perhaps the worst Python episode. Sigh. “Who would’ve thought that Cleese was the voice of compassion? This season seems mean; the way these are just riddled with contempt is surprising.”- Elsa

Season 4, episode 6: “Party Political Broadcast.” Opening on a scene of squalor that looks like ‘The Young Ones,” but shrill, gross, and, frankly, beneath everyone involved. Spots, filth, talk of bowel movements, and Terry G bloated and covered in baked beans; if that’s your bag, well, you probably prefer “Little Britain”to “Python” anyway, so enjoy. A segue to a game show looking for the “most awful family in Britain” does nothing to redeem the five minutes I just had to sit through. Next, a squawking upper class family attempts to undercut the classism of the first. Then a cut to another shrill, terrible lower-class family watching the show and complaining that they’re more horrible, which they may be (and the scabby cat puppet is straight “Young Ones” as well.) “So their plan for this year was ‘everyone yells all the time’? I’m against it.”- Elsa. Three out of four sketches featuring Terry G. in a performing capacity- I don’t think anyone in the group thought that was ideal. Now Terry J. in a doctor sketch is bleeding (in Dan Akyroyd as Julia Child volume) for a few minutes while Graham yells at him. It is not as funny as an SNL sketch. That is just wrong. Then Eric in a tutu and Michael

The worst sketch in Python history? Yeah...

dressed as a bishop play soldiers in love. Eh. Then a long, static, and very uninspiring Gilliam cartoon with a tuneless opera singer and no payoff. Then a very flat sketch with Graham making an appeal for sympathy for the very rich. The “finishing sentences” sketch has a nice idea and a little snap. Hooray! Long, pointless link. Long, pointless, safari sketch that segues into a violent cricket sketch which may be a statement on colonialism or might be slightly racist, but definitely isn’t funny at all. A halting, string-plucking version of the end theme gives over to the rousing “Liberty Bell” we all know. Frankly, the first one seems a more appropriate epitaph. Instead, a tag with Idle as a newsreader saying nothing imaginative or funny, but at least we can watch Carol do a saucy dance on a table in the background. And that’s it for the greatest sketch comedy series of all time (and it’s not even close, by the way.) Not a bang, not even a whimper really. A wheeze of once-unnecessary effort. And now I’m off to watch one of their movies (all of which were made after the series ended and all of which proved irrefutably that they were all still, collectively, the funniest fellows in the world.) Anyway, trust me- you’re not missing anything.

VideoReport #314

Volume CCCXIV- Mothra Python’s Flying Circus

For the Week of 8/23/11

 Videoport cares about movies. And about you too, you big lug… Here, have a free movie every day.

Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)

While it did not "explode," "The Signal" is actually pretty good...

>>> Dennis suggests The Signal (in Horror.) We here at the Videoport love to give the recommendations to you, the people. It’s much more fun than most other things we do around here, and, since all we do other than work here is watch an endless stream of movies to the exclusion of all else in our lives, we’re rarely short of ideas for you. Personally, though, the horror section is often a problem, especially after a few go-rounds, as there are so few decent horror movies. Or even remotely decent. Or even marginally acceptable. So when I discover a little-seen horror movie that’s not only remotely-decent, but actually smart, scary, disturbing, and even a bit adventurous, it’s like discovering a forgotten twenty in an old pair of pants. Sort of a zombie situation, (but clearly exempt from the Zombie Rules), The Signal starts (after seemingly-unrelated, very disturbing video clip) with a young couple in bed. It gradually comes out that she’s unhappily married to a big lug, and that her lover wants her to leave the lug and run away with him. It’s a well-written and acted little scene which makes you care for the characters and lays a groundwork that the horror can build upon when it gets scary. Which it does rather quickly and mysteriously as seemingly-ordinary people start, well, going bug-nuts crazy and killing people. It all has something to do with the titular signal, an abstract, static-y pattern of images and sounds and it’s as valid a premise for a sudden outbreak of zombie-esque violence as any other. What sets The Signal apart is that it’s the work of three directors, each of whom helms a third of the film; while each segment differs slightly in tone and characters, the strands all weave together. It’s unique, and well-done, with, a rarity for a horror movie, a brain in its head. There’s some shocking violence, some pitch-dark humor, good acting all around, and a general skill level far beyond what the horror section usually offers. It’s a nice, gory little gift for horror fans…and video clerks strapped for horror recommendations.

Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)

Young,

>>> Dennis suggests celebrating the ACTION part of the Tuesday rental special with a Charles Bronson double feature! ‘Cause, seriously, no one epitomizes the Action section like good ol’ scowlin’, mumblin’, punchin’, shootin’ Chuck Bronson. You could see what the recent remake did wrong by renting Bronson’s 1972 hitman original The Mechanic. Or watch his bloody, pulpy work as the kick-assingest melon farmer in history, taking revenge on the mob and the hitmen out to, um, steal his melons in Mr. Majestyk. You could head over to Classics to see him all young and terrifyingly buff in

Old,

...the Man just liked shootin'...

the classic Western The Magnificent Seven, or head back to Action to admire his highly-honed killing skills as one of The Dirty Dozen. Or marvel at the still hard-to-believe pairing of Bronson and Asian tough guy counterpart Toshiro Mifune in the oddball Western Red Sun. He’s diggin’ tunnels in The Great Escape. And, of course, there’s his (regrettably) signature role as the vigilante Paul Kersey in the Death Wish movies (some of which are available in economy-sized double feature discs in the Action section) where you can revel in his heavily-armed architect blowing the bejeezus out of the slimiest, rapiest bad guys in cinema history, all of whom make the increasingly-ill-advised mistake of defiling one of Bronson’s astoundingly-killable relatives or friends. Yup, when you just want some serious, no-nonsense, taciturn, tight-lipped, steely-eyed, mustachioed violence, Charles Bronson is your man.

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental…OR…get 4 movies for 7 days for 7 bucks!)

>>> Dennis suggests a Monty Python binge!I recently listened to the audio book of Michael Palin’s diaries from the Python years because, why not? (And because I’m a big dork, of course.) The

Clockwise from left: Genius, genius, genius, genius, genius, and genius.

tales of the creation of the legendary TV series, and the making of both Holy Grail and Life of Brian, all told in Palin’s disarmingly-unaffected, wise, and charming voice sent me scurrying home with armloads of Python to revisit the most formative comedic influence on my development as a human-type person. Seriously, discovering Python on late night PBS when I was ten or so was like those monkeys discovering the monolith in 2001 and having their evolution jump-started by a superior alien race; nothing, as they say, would ever be the same again. When I say “revisit”, of course that’s something of a lie; I can’t think of a time when there’s not some element of Pythonia flitting through my mind: I hear John Cleese’s curt, “I’m sorry, but this is irrelevant, isn’t it?” burbling up in response to every ridiculous, rambling conversation, I mentally caption certain Republican presidential hopefuls as “upper class twit of the year,” and sudden odd movements around me are often accompanied by Gilliam-esque sound effects (“BAUM!”- trust me, it’s funny in my head.) Plus, you know, I watch their stuff not infrequently anyway. But this week has been a virtual Python orgy: plowing through the entire TV series, watching Life of Brian (with both commentaries and bonus features!), and so on, and, I gotta say- it all holds up just as well as one always wants one’s heroes to do. The only real complaint about the series is that some of the bits have been dulled by familiarity, but that’s just a testament to how universally-beloved and ubiquitous they’ve become over the years. So, as a result of all this Pythoning, here are some conclusions:

1. Exempting Gilliam from the equation (his contributions were harder to define, and he didn’t do much performing), the Pythons, in descending order of innate funniness are: Cleese, Palin, Chapman (always sort of underrated), Jones, and Idle. Idle always seems to be trying a little to hard for the laugh. (Of course, being a Python, that still makes him 5 times as funny as you are.)

2. The Life of Brian is their best movie. No, I don’t want to hear it from you. Sure, Grail is freaking nonstop hilarious and Meaning of Life is still very good (although still slightly disappointing), but Brian just works. The individual scenes and bits are all, without exception, stellar, and the underlying message informs the film with an angry resonance that’s still dangerous to this day (to the same type of close-minded religious nitwits who tried to ban it originally.) Plus Chapman’s performance as Brian really holds the film together; he was a very underrated actor, I’d say.

3. While I gave Cleese the top spot (the man’s a comedy god), it was a surprisingly close call between

Molded from pure funny.

him and Michael Palin. Every move that guy makes is just inherently funny and, even though he’s off being a travel writer now (what Cleese once jokingly described as him “being professionally nice to people”), I still place him in the rarified company of people who just seem to be made of funny. (Others include Kevin McDonald, Phil Hartman, Gilda Radner, Eddie Murphy [pre-1988], Peter Falk, former Videoporter Jeremy.)

4. The greatest sketch comedy group of all time is made up of 5/6 certified geniuses in areas other than comedy. Cleese (Cambridge) had a law degree. Chapman (Cambridge) was a medical doctor. Idle had a Cambridge degree in English literature. Palin and Jones (Oxford) both have History degrees. (Only poor Gilliam, the lone American, is without a prestigious diploma. Occidental College? Seriously, dude?) What does that mean? Well, apart from ensuring that even the silliest sketch might contain a word or two you’ll need your thesaurus for, it means that the joke writing draws from a much deeper well of knowledge and erudition than most comedies. (Now you can watch “The Fish-Slapping Dance” sketch with the proper perspective.)

5. Favorite often-overlooked sketches: “Cheese Shop” (very similar to “Dead Parrot” but even better), “Doug and Dinsdale Piranha” (pretty much introduced the concept of the running gag to me), “Archaeology Today”, “It’s the Mind” (still kinda wigs me out…), “Mister Hilter” (also oddly unnerving), “Buying a Bed” (just builds into absurdity heaven), “Tudor Dirty Book Shop” (makes so little sense it makes perfect sense, plus one of Palin’s best performances), “Dennis Moore” (riding through the night…), “Anne Elk” (John Cleese makes an unnervingly prim woman), “Johann Gamblepotty” (introduced me to the idea of something going on sooooo long that it goes from being funny, to being not at all funny, and then comes around to being absolutely f-ing hilarious), and the extended “Scotsman, blancmange, alien invasion” sketch.

6. Whenever someone plays the “what’s the thing that would disqualify somebody from being your friend if they didn’t like it” game, the only thing that really feels like a deal-breaker is Monty Python. If you don’t think Python is funny, I’m pretty sure we’re not going to hang out.

Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)

>>> April suggests some ‘South Park’ (in Incredibly Strange.) Any disc of any season will do. I’ve been watching random episodes on my lunch breaks and I laugh. I know I said last week that I don’t like comedies, and I still don’t, but I like animated things that are meant to be funny. It’s easier to disconnect from it. Andy’s been watching them, too. We’ve been swapping lines that we love. My favorite this week is Cartman telling Kyle to get the sand out of his vagina. Oh! It makes me laugh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).

Penelope says you should rent this. And Penelope is always right.

>>> Dennis’ brilliant angel-genius niece Penelope (age 6) suggests Nanny McPhee for the following reasons: 1. “Because the children are bad and then they turn good.” 2. “Because I like it when they pretend that they’re having measles.” 3. ” Because it’s so silly; in some parts it is scary but then it turns out okay.” 4. “Nanny McPhee is ugly but she is nice and [SPOILER ALERT!] she turns pretty at the end.” And she adds this advice: “Parents: if your kids are scared, just tell them everything’s gonna end up happy.”

Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)

>>>For Saturday, Former Videoporter Stockman suggests John Tucker Must Die(in Comedy.) I make no apologies for my love of romantic comedies and high school comedies. I don’t want to argue that they’re good in terms of the art of making a movie, because that would be folly. What I argue is that they’re good in terms of pure entertainment. They’re like a pixie stick! Pure hyperactive sugar of

Stockman says you should rent this. She is...often correct.

entertainment! But to be fair many of them are just plain bad, seriously awful. When compared to the art of making a movie they are so much drivel that you spend hours pondering how something like this even gets made. When compared to their pixie stick deliciousness you’re just left with a bad taste in your mouth and the shame of having continued to eat something you know full well is disgusting. I’m happy to nominate myself as the person to help you learn good pixie stick from bad pixie stick. John Tucker Must Die is one of those good pixie sticks that falls under the radar. For whatever reason some kind of storm of events kept it being popular where your equally foolish She’s The Man or She’s All That does become popular. John Tucker Must Die deserves credit. It’s watchable and entertaining far more than you or even I ever suspected from such a film. I think some people found it offensive for the gender roles it displayed, but I don’t actually care and don’t seem to be built with that radar. So one person says offensive, I actually thought it was innovative and empowering, but I think that about Charlie’s Angels too so that’s my broken radar. Anyway, I won’t bore you with plot, they’re in high school, wacky antics ensue and everyone learns a lesson, who cares, it’s fun to watch.

>>>For Sunday, Former Videoporter Stockman (murdering it as always) suggests Waitress(in Comedy.) There is nothing about this movie that is not wonderful. From the characters to the actors,

There's no law that says Nathan Fillion has to be mentioned in every VideoReport, it just sort of works out that way.

including the indescribably inestimable Nathan Fillion, to the story and the directing this movie delighted me down to the very tips of my toes. I’m not usually a gal overwhelmed by girl power, with the exception of my much renowned love of the Spice Girls, but this movie does it well. By well, I mean subtly. I never felt beaten over the head with a plot point or philosophy in this movie, but it does have its fair share of ‘you go girl’. It’s a very character driven story about a woman who gets knocked up by her sh***y abusive husband. Which is the plot only at its most basic, it doesn’t sound very fun or interesting in that sentence when in fact the movie is quite fun and interesting. It sounds like one of those overly dark and angst ridden pictures made to prove to you how real movies can be when in fact you just leave wondering why real always equates to depressing. Luckily they added just the right dollop of quirky dialogue, subplots, and characters to make a layered intriguingly delicious confection. I really can’t speak highly enough of how thoroughly enjoyable this film is. I don’t mean to say that in terms of this movie will blow your mind and become one of your top ten greatest movies of all time. It’s just one of those movies that leave you feeling happy, hopeful and fully satiated.

New Releases this week at Videoport: ‘Dexter’- Season 5 (have you guys heard about this show? Serial killer kills other serial killers. Huh- well, the kids seem to like it…), Troll Hunter

Huge, freaking TROLLS, people!

(maybe you caught this Norwegian cult film at SPACE Gallery last month; if not, here’s the idea: HUGE FREAKING TROLLS! Shot all Cloverfiled style! Trolls!!!!), Blitz (real-life UK tough guys Jason Statham and Paddy Considine play burly, badass cops hunting a serial killer…who kills cops! He’s like Dexter…but not really), Win Win(this is the movie you

See this.

really want to rent this week, gang; the writer/director Tom McCarthy’s made two other films [The Station Agent and The Visitor] which are both excellent and beloves. This time he’s got Paul Giamatti, who is also excellent and beloved, as a beleaguered lawyer/wrestling coach. Seriously- see this one this wek), The Beaver(hello, mixed emotions! On the one hand, this generally well-reviewed tale about a suicidally-depressed guy who finds the ability to look at the bright side only by communicating through a beaver puppet is one of the legendary unproduced [now produced] screenplays

I think that puppet is about to say something really terrible...

in years, and it’s directed by [and costars] the lovely and talented Jodie Foster; on the other hand, star Mel Gibson is a racist, anti-Semitic, woman-hating creep-hole. Tough sell…), Henry’s Crime (is it a bad sign when a new movie hits DVD starring the likes of Keanu Reeves, James Caan, and Vera Farmiga and you’ve never heard of it? It’s a bank robbery comedy about a falsely accused guy whose eyes are too close together [guess who] who, after his release from prison, decides to actually rob the bank he was falsely accused of robbing in the first place. Does that help?), The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (docu-prankster Morgan Spurlock [Super Size Me] decides to make a movie about the insidious way that product placement sneaks into your favorite movies and TV shows by selling product placement in order to fund his movie. Is the film as clever as its gimmick? Rent it and see…), Poetry (critics are falling all over themselves trying to find the right words to praise this elegant, heartbreaking Korean drama about an elderly woman dealing with a lot of bad stuff [the onset of Alzheimer's, her mundane daily existence, a spoiled creep of a grandson, and, oh yeah, a local murder] by discovering the joys of poetry), NEDS (an acronym for “non educated delinquents”, this is director/actor Peter Mullan [The Magdeline Sisters] autobiographical tale of growing up poor and largely-unparented in 1970′s Glasgow), Hoodwinked Too!: Hood vs. Evil (the usual, completely-overqualified and paycheck-seeking voice cast [in this case, the likes of Glenn Close, Amy Poehler, Bill Hader, Cheech and Chong, etc] spend some time in the recording booth for this animated sequel about cartoon fairy tale characters acting like they’re on Law & Order), Dream Home (nice ‘n’ gory Chinese thriller about a young woman so desperate to have the titular domicile that she starts carving up other prospective tenants), Cameraman: The Life and Work of Jack Cardiff (film fans everywhere [this means you] should check out this documentary about legendary cinematographer Cardiff, veteran of oh, about a trillion movies, from The African Queen to Rambo: First Blood Part 2.)

Buy Local, Rent Videoport, Screw Netflix, and other phrases!

VideoReport #304

Volume CCCIV- Rocky Horror Picture C.H.U.D.

For the Week of 6/14/11

Videoport gives you a free rental every, single day. If anyone has a problem with that, well, we apologize.

Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)

>>> Elsa S. Customer suggests Star Wars (in Sci Fi/Fantasy.) Call it “Episode IV,” call it “A New Hope,” call it whatever you want, but when I say “Star Wars,” you know what I’m talking about: I’m talking about that splashy, soppy space opera that enraptured a whole generation of kids — and adults, too. I’m not going to tell you about the movie, really. You know the story — or if you don’t, boy oh boy, is there a treat in store for you! I’m going to talk about nostalgia: about the pleasure of bundling up on a cold Sunday afternoon, or sitting down after a long hard day, dimming the lights, and immersing yourself in a world of storytelling. Just listening to the overture, watching that sloping yellow opening text crawl backwards into the screen — it invokes a whole world of adventure, even as it conjures up the safety and simplicity of childhood.

Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)

>>> Andy suggests Duel In The Sun (in Classics). Producer David O. Selznick sure knew how to make a prestige picture. Best known for the Best Picture Oscar winners Gone With The Windand Alfred

"I am thinking reeealy filthy thought about you..."

Hitchcock’s Rebecca, Selznick made Duel In The Sun, an attempt recreate the huge-scale success of GWTW, in 1946. In some ways Duel is a lot like GWTW. It’s an overblown soap opera with an A-list cast, huge set pieces, and gorgeous Technicolor images, all dripping with sex. Plus, Butterfly McQueen! It’s the story of a half-Indian girl (Jennifer Jones) with a tragic past who goes to live on a ranch called Spanish Bit, where she is attracted to two brothers. The good brother, played by Joseph Cotton, and the bad boy brother, played by Gregory Peck, vie for her love, to the dismay or their Indian-hating father (Lionel Barrymore). This simple story, played out on an epic scale, takes two and a half hours to tell. But with all the twists and turns, both predictable and genuinely unexpected, it’s never dull. It’s difficult to be bored by a movie where there’s hardly an un-sleazy moment. Jones constantly shoots fiery, lusty looks at the brothers, and Peck can sneer with the best of ‘em. Cotton… well, he plays the good guy, so it’s kind of a relief when his character leaves town and sits out the middle of the movie while Spanish Bit descends into unbridled decadence. By the way, it’s nice to see Gregory Peck play an unlikable prick for a change. Of course, I love him as those dignified, righteous characters he’s known for (think Gentleman’s Agreement and To Kill A Mockingbird). But as Lewt in Duel In The Sun, he proves that he could have made a career out of playing leering, murderous bastards, too.

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental…OR…get 4 movies for 7 days for 7 bucks!)

>>> Dennis suggests using the Wednesday special (4 movies, 7 days, 7 bucks) to get to know a character actor! This week: Peter Riegert!“Character actor” is one of those appellations, like

Now pitching... for the utility man all-stars...Peter Riegert!

“middle reliever”, that no one really sets out to be. When your growing up at home, reciting monologues in a mirror, or tossing curveballs against the garage, you’re not dreaming of being known as either of those things; your dreams are of Oscar night, or pitching game one of the world series. Nope, both of those things are where you end up when life’s grinding tutelage reveals that your looks are a little too recessive, that your fastball doesn’t have enough movement on it. So you grind back, carving out your spot, one just left of the spotlight, and you make a living. But there’s a place for such role-players and if they’re rarely the star of the moment, they’re often just as indispensable, and beloved. Maybe they’re just more relatable to the rest of us (you know those of us not named Brad Pitt or Josh Beckett) and so we revel in their more modest accomplishments and feel inordinately proud when they get the rare opportunity to star and come up big. Which brings me to Peter Riegert. Born in ’47, kinda short, wavy hair, big nose- you’d know him if you saw him (chasing after Jim Carrey in The Mask, paying big-time for being a weasel to Michael Caine in A Shock to the System, playing Danny’s a-hole father on an episode of ‘Sports Night’, as the crooked alderman who finds out it’s safer to get in bed, figuratively, with Tony Soprano than to do so, literally, with one of Tony’s ex-mistresses. Plays a lot of cops and lawyers now.) Most recognize the young Peter as Boone, Tim Matheson’s snarky sidekick (and Karen Allen’s lucky boyfriend) in Animal House; he’s wry, and compactly-handsome, and gets in some memorable lines (“Wait’ll Otis sees us! He loves us!”) as one of the gang in what was once the highest-grossing comedy of all time. So that’s something. He had a nice supporting role in Chilly Scenes of Winter(1979), a very good adaptation of Anne Beattie’s very good

Dropping some pickle-man wisdom.

novel, which is out of print and hasn’t been released on DVD ever (you can borrow my personal VHS copy if you look responsible enough.) But my enduring respect (and love) for the man comes from two movies, really. First: Crossing Delancey (1988) where Riegert got his chance to play a romantic lead for a change, and proved himself a very charming, capable, and soulful partner to the equally-winning (and lovely) Amy Irving. Playing Sam Posner, a Brooklyn pickle salesman wooing Irving’s upwardly-mobile bookseller, Riegert plays the kind of romantic, yet clear-eyed and grounded, man every romantic comedy sorely needs but so rarely has. His pickle man, with his twinkly eyes and his rumpled face, reveals a longing soul and a true romantic streak, all the while maintaining his footing in reality; listen to his speech when he finally calls the interested-but-dreaming-of-”bigger things” Irving on the way she’s been taking him for granted- that’s great acting. A charming, very New York, romantic comedy for grownups. The second film is director Bill Forsythe’s Local Hero (1983.) When people at Videoport ask me what my favorite movie is, I say this one. Always. Sure, there may be other contenders, and the question may be too big for me to answer without having a ten minute sitdown to think things over (and you don’t have that kind of time), so I say Local Hero is my favorite movie of all time. And I’m always telling the truth. Riegert is a master of understated comedy, and longing, as MacIntyre, the decidedly-not-Scottish juior oil executive sent from Texas (by a delightfully-eccentric, yet hardnosed Burt Lancaster) to negotiate the sale of an entire, remote Scottish village, the only place suitable to despoil for a new transatlantic oil pipeline. Starting out efficient and officious, Mac wanders into the village of Furness, alongside a dreamy, wistful young Scot’s oil exec [In the Loop's Peter Capaldi], and gradually comes under the spell of the place; its scenery, its

This is the scene...

peacefulness, and the gentle weirdness of its inhabitants. While still, theoretically, negotiating the sale of everything he’s falling in love with, Mac is befriended by Denis Lawson’s de facto town mayor (and hotelier, barman, lawyer) Gordon, who sees right through Mac’s clumsy inquiries and has the town primed to take the Yanks to the cleaner, all the while genuinely taking to his new pal. I said the place puts MacIntyre under its spell, and the movie does the same for me; there’s a gentle, inexplicable alchemy at work in Local Hero, one that I’ve rarely encountered since in a movie. Mark Knopfler’s haunting score, eccentric little comic touches nibbling around the corners of the frame, some tantalizing hints that things are much, much odder than you think they are, and the gradual encroachment of some darker truths creeping in along the way- it’s a spell, and it stays with me. And Riegert is magnificent, revealing the real loneliness inside the ambitious professional which makes him so susceptible to Furness’ beguiling magic. The drunken late-night bar talk between Mac and Gordon is simply the best-played, loveliest comic set piece I’ve ever seen, and there are a dozen more just like it. I’ve got an original British poster for Local Hero poster on my living room wall, Riegert, briefcase in hand, his suit pants rolled up in the Scottish tide, as he looks, quietly befuddled, at what his life has become. Let’s hear it for the character actors, and Peter Riegert.

Magic.

Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)

>>> Dennis suggests Rounders(in Feature Drama.) I’ve reviewed this before at length, (I’ll link to it, for you internet readers), but watching it again recently, I came to the realization that it remains the only truly great poker movie for one simple reason: the final showdown comes down, not to an improbable

Not so fast, pard...I've got seven of a kind!

string of ‘everyone’s got the greatest hand you could possibly have’ one-trumpery, but to a mental master game between two players trying to out-think each other. See, that’s why poker’s so great (and such an oft-misused metaphor in fiction.) So unlike movies like Maverick, Casino Royale, even The Cincinnati Kid which all create crowd-pleasing (read: stupid and improbable) tension and release out of truly, astronomically improbable runs of cards and ridiculous luck, only Rounders gets to the heart of what Leonard Cohen called ‘The holy game of poker.” Plus, you know, it’s a great movie.

Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).

>>> Someone finally rented several discs of ‘Star Trek’-the Animated Series’! Andy’s long, national nightmare is over! Sleep well, my friend…

Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)

>>>For Saturday, Dennis says, “How about a rundown of some of the ways Videoport is awesome?”

1. Videoport payment deals! Pay $20 onto your rental account and receive $25 worth of rental credit. Pay $30 to get $40 worth of rental credit.

2. There’s a free rental every day at Videoport.

3. Videoport has, oh, all the movies in the world, ever! C’mon!!!

4. Videoport can duplicate your old movies for you. Fast, cheap and reliable!

5. You get a free movie rental with every movie you purchase at Videoport.

6. We are not a faceless, corporate entity dedicated to driving local businesses out of business, we’re locally-owned, fiercely-independent, and proud of it.

7. We only hire people who do nothing but watch movies all day, every day. Make their loneliness work for you!

8. We’ll even get you free parking downtown. Just ask.

>>>For Sunday, Elsa S. Customer suggests The Straight Story (in Feature Drama.) Some critics hailed The Straight Story as a departure for David Lynch, saying the straightforward (and G-rated) film made welcome change from his trademark surrealist ambiguity. The Straight Story is based on an actual event: 73-year-old Alvin Straight’s failing vision (and subsequent loss of his driver’s license) prevented him from driving to visit his stricken brother. But Alvin, never one to ask for help or take no for an answer, figured out an unconventional solution: he equipped his riding mower with a trailer (for cargo and a bunk) and drove the darned thing out onto the road, preparing to cover 240 miles at an excruciatingly slow pace. It’s a deceptively simple tale on its surface, a poetically unhurried road movie focusing on Alvin’s modest adventures and the people he encounters on his journey. And believe me, that’s plenty: between Lynch’s note-perfect scene-setting, Richard Farnsworth’s quiet but evocative performance as the taciturn Alvin, and Sissy Spacek’s arresting supporting role as Alvin’s daughter Rose, it’s an incredibly rich and almost peaceful film. But beneath the biographical story, Lynch thoughtfully layers meaning for viewers willing to unpack it. Notice the progression of Alvin’s meetings and conversations with strangers, starting with a young girl with a baby in her belly, moving on to middle age, and ending with grave talk in a graveyard: it’s an unspoken journey through the stages of life. Another ambiguous Lynchian undertone shows up in Alvin’s tale (and I want to be clear that it’s Farnsworth’s fictional representation of Alvin I’m talking about here) of Rose’s children and an accident that happened “one night when somebody else was watching the kids.” Attentive viewers, alert to the implications Lynch weaves with the collision of images and words, might draw their own conclusions about who shoulders the responsibility for that sorrow. But most powerfully, the film is overlaid with the deep but gentle remorse accumulated in a lifetime of attrition, and at its core is an old man’s hard-won willingness to, in Alvin’s words, “separate the wheat from the chaff and let the small stuff fall away.” There is breathtaking beauty in this journey.

New Releases this week at Videoport: Battle: Los Angeles (Aaron Eckhart attempts to fight off a pesky alien invasion, Black Hawk Down style in this sci fi/action extravaganza), Red Riding Hood (Amanda Seyfried and Gary Oldman star in this ‘edgy and dark’ take on the innocent childhood fairy tale about the vicious wolf that devours that old woman…), Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen

Are you Japanese? If so, he WILL kick you...

Zhen (martial arts superstar Donnie Yen [IP Man, Kill Zone, about two dozen other movies in Videoport's 'Made in Hong Kong' section] stars in this action flick about a nigh-unstoppable Chinese masked fighter who kicks the bejeezus out of the invading Japanese in WWII), Hall Pass (the Farrelly Brothers [There's Something About Mary] attempt comedic relevance again with this typically-raunchy tale of a pair of cowed husbands [Owen Wilson, Jason Sudekis] give the titular, slangy opportunity to cheat by their wives), ‘The Glades’- season 1 (mystery series about a no-nonsense Chicago cop who moves down to Florida and finds himself up to his navel in murder; Navel! Get it? Like oranges? Anyone? Let;s move on…), ‘Haven’- season 1 (an FBI agent is assigned to check out the various mysterious goings-on in the titular Maine village in this series; don’t let the fact that it was actually filmed in Nova Scotia and is about as Maine-y as and Idaho potato bias you against it in any way…), Jackass 3.5 (didn’t get enough poop and groin-injury from Jackass 3? Well, here’s an expanded version! You’re welcome!), Kill the Irishman (‘Rome’s Ray Stevenson stars in this mob thriller about a real-life 70′s Irish enforcer who tries to take over organized crime in Cleveland; costarring Christopher Walken, Vincent D’Onofrio, Val Kilmer, and Paul Sorvino), ‘Southland’- season 2 (this well-regarded cop show was cancelled by NBC for being ‘too dark’ before being picked up by TNT; ‘too dark for network television’ sounds like a compliment to me…), Rubber (ever dedicated to bringing you the weirdest and most inexplicable, Videoport presents this Incredibly Strange section-destined horror movie…about a sentient automobile tire that can kill with its mind!!!), Big Mommas: Like Father Like Son (Martin Lawrence continues to make these movies, even after ’30 Rock’ satirized his efforts with ‘Honky Grandma Be Trippin’‘? Huh. Good luck…)

New Arrivals this week at Videoport: Shot in the Dark (in this 2003 documentary, ‘Entourage”s Adrien Grenier set out to reconnect with his estranged father), Adrift (in this Brazilian drama, Black Swan’s Vincent Cassel stars as a writer whose teenage daughter’s coming of age is complicated when she discovers some uncomfortable truths about him), Sveener and the Shmiel (low budget, indie comedy about a guy trying to steer his simpleminded brother through various adventures, romantic and otherwise; find it in the Incredibly Strange section), Can Go Through Skin (after a traumatic assault, a young woman heads out to an isolated farmhouse to heal in this intense Dutch drama; look to Videoport’s resident Dutchelsman Dennis2 for a review in the near future), Wrestling Ernest Hemingway (old horses Robert Duvall and Richard Harris starred in this 1993 comedy/drama about the unlikely friendship between a drunken Irish former sea captain and a shy Cuban barber; I’m gonna go ahead and let you guess which role Richard Harris played), The Boy Friend (former supermodel Twiggy starred in this winning 1971 musical, directed by Altered States‘ Ken Russell, of all people…), While the City Sleeps (Fritz Lang [M, The Big Heat] directed this 1956 serial killer thriller starring Dana Andrews and George Sanders), Insignificance (Nicholas Roeg’s oddball drama, with thinly-veiled versions of Albert Einstein, Joesph McCarthy, Joe DiMaggio, and Marilyn Monroe all meeting up in a NYC hotel room, gets the full Criterion Collection treatment!)

New Arrivals on Blu Ray this week at Videoport: Battle: Los Angeles, Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen, Hall Pass, Red Riding Hood.

VideoReport #300

Volume CCC- Dr. StrangeC.H.U.D. or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the C.H.U.D.s

For the Week of 5/17/11

Videoport’s got some stuff to say…

Hey gang. This, in case you’re not up on your Roman numerals, is the 300th issue of the VideoReport. The staff and customers of Videoport have put out an issue every week, for 300 weeks. We don’t get paid for it, none of us- we, movie geeks all, just can’t stop talking about movies, and we like sharing our thoughts on them with you. We write our movie reviews, our impossibly-geeky movie ramblings, our occasional scurrilous, libelous screeds against Hollywood figures that are so far out of our scope that we might as well be flicking rubber bands at 747s, but it keeps us sane and, theoretically, you entertained. So here’s to all of the people who’ve contributed to the VideoReport over the years, and to its readers who’ve supported the best, damned video store in the world. We promise to keep watching ‘em, and writing about ‘em. You just keep renting ‘em from the best, damned video store in the world. We love you, you crazy kids. Now let’s talk about movies…

Middle Aisle Monday. (Get one free rental from the Sci-Fi, Horror, Incredibly Strange, Mystery/Thriller, Animation or Staff Picks sections with your paid rental.)

>>> Former Videoporter Stockman suggests The Zero Effect (in Mystery/Thriller.) I actually prefer Ben Stiller in dramatic roles. This is not to say I dislike his comedic ones, I mean I do usually (exception Dodgeball), but this is not to say that. If you’ve never seen the softer side of Stiller this is an excellent start. If you’ve seen him in Royal TennenbaumsI think you’ll understand what I’m going with. He’s a

"If Stiller doesn't get here soon, I am going to freak right the freak out..."

pretty good actor. He’s certainly no slouch in Zero Effect as the burdened liaison to Bill Pullman’s brilliant nut job detective. I will admit to not being very well read when it comes to Sherlock Holmes, my knowledge can be chalked up mostly to the Great Mouse Detective, episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and other Holmes-like homages. Yet despite this admittance of ignorance I’m still going to go right ahead and compare the two. Bill Pullman plays Darryl Zero the self proclaimed world’s greatest detective. Given his Holmesian (there is a distinct possibility I just made that word up) nature, the audience does not feel an overwhelming desire to disagree with his proclamation. But as with Holmes and all the best brilliant characters, with great ability comes great insanity. Darryl Zero does not function well, he is a hotbed of neurotic tendencies and it is Ben Stiller that interfaces between Darryl and the world. In short, this movie is brilliant. It is interesting, intelligent and easy to watch. The mystery and the perspectives of each character are engaging and hypnotic and well worth the journey. The movie isn’t flashy, it’s just damn well done.

Tough and Triassic Tuesday. (Get one free rental from the Action or Classics sections with your paid rental.)

>>> Dennis suggests 300 (in Action/Adventure.) I haven’t seen 300. But this is issue #300 of the VideoReport, and Andy suggested that I review 300 for issue 300, because that’s how Andy’s mind works. Unfortunately, neither he nor I have seen 300, so that’s how that went. Videoport’s Sam said he walked out of it because he found it kind of homophobic and racist. Sam is very smart. Sort of wish he’d been around to say that, but you get the idea. On a related note, anyone can write for the VideoReport. Especially people who have seen the movies they’re reviewing. (denmn@hotmail.com to submit…)

Wacky and Worldly Wednesday. (Get one free rental from the Comedy or Foreign Language sections with your paid rental…OR…get 4 movies for 7 days for 7 bucks!)

>>> Elsa S. Customer suggests the Wednesday special for recuperation! Down with the flu? Slated for bedrest? Scheduled for oral surgery? Snuggle down with some ginger ale and the Wednesday special: four movies for seven days for seven bucks! You can enjoy a whole season of “Dexter” or “The West Wing” or “Mad Men” or “Futurama,” or watch all of “Firefly,” or catch up on the first season of “Community” (a show with a re-watch bonus almost as high as the legendary “Arrested Development”)!

Thrifty Thursday. (Get one free movie from any section with your paid rental.)

>>> Dennis suggests The Freebie(in Feature Drama.) Sometimes, or is it all the time, it seems like the people in charge of selling a movie are working directly in opposition to the original intents and artistic dreams of the actual creative people who make movies. I know that it’s the job of distributors to get people

Anyone attracted to this poster will hate the movie. Anyone who'd like the movie will be turned off by the poster. Marketing!

to watch a movie they’re putting out, I guess by any means necessary. But if they create an ad campaign, a movie poster, or DVD box art which is deliberately misleading as to the actual content of the movie, isn’t that just going to either piss or turn people off? Seriously, if you create a sexy, silly cover for an ambitious, serious film, either you’re going to a.)disappoint the people attracted to such a cover when they don’t get what they were looking for or b.)keep people who would actually like such a film from ever renting it, or c.) both. For example, this film. I didn’t watch it, and had no real interest in watching it, essentially based on the cover art and title. (I mean, sure, I was not exactly jazzed to check out the newest Dax Shepard vehicle either, but more on that later…) The title, the tagline, and the cutesy cover with stars Shepard and Katie Aselton all wrapped up in a blanket and giving us a comically-cute ‘oops!’ look makes it look like a lowbrow, cheesy romantic comedy, and the premise (unhappy couple decides to give each other the titular ‘freebie’ one-night stand with someone else apiece) is the stuff of crappy guy comedies (see last year’s Hall Pass, etc.) But, since I had an undeniably-too-cool-not-to-tell reason to actually watch the thing (I got to interview star/director/writer Aselton) and I have to say The Freebie is really, really good. In addition to starring in this (and the very funny series ‘The League’), Aselton is married to indie filmmaker (and co-father of the so-called ‘mumblecore’ movement) Mark Duplass, and in this, her directorial debut, she shows a real affinity for that genre’s improvisational, conversational and emotionally-raw style, and creates a smart, legitimately moving examination of one couple’s misguided attempt to sort out their relationship. Shepard and Aselton play Darren and Annie, a genuinely-happy, compulsively-honest couple who admit, one night, that their sex life has become routine. And so the ‘one-night stand’ plan. What’s truly impressive is how organically the premise gets

Writer/director/star/Maine native/hilarious...trying to think how she could be cooler. Nope, there's no way.

introduced; the two actors so ably create a very specifically-believable couple that you go along with their reasoning, even though you are pretty sure they’re making a terrible mistake. That’s a credit to the two actors, in more ways than one. I noticed that there are no writing credits listed for The Freebie on IMDb, and none in the movie itself, and Aselton confirmed to me on the phone (that’s the last time I name drop, I promise), that, while she wrote her film’s outline, the entire thing was improvised. And, while Aselton’s background in the mumblecore genre, and the improv-heavy ‘The League’ reveals that she’s got the chops for such an undertaking (and she is heartbreaking, winning, and lovely), the real revelation is Shepard. You might recognize him from comedies of such variable quality as Let’s Go to Prison, Idiocracy, Without a Paddle, and Baby Mama, but absolutely nothing in his previous work suggested he could pull something like this off. As the two go through their painful journey into sexual adventurousness and, maybe, back again, the two actors make us care, and empathize, every step of the way, with Aselton’s sure hand behind the camera providing sensitive, sure guidance. I popped this DVD in, honestly, out of a sense of obligation and, largely thanks to how it was marketed, absolutely no expectations whatsoever. I finished it with a continued respect for Aselton, a newfound one for Shepard, and a reaffirmed belief that movie marketing is headed up, by and large, by a team of trained chimps with cocaine habits. Ignore the cover, watch the movie.

Free Kids Friday. (Get one free rental from the Children’s or Family sections, no other rental necessary).

>>>Andy gives 5 more reasons to rent Star Trek – the Animated Series for free (let’s see, these are reasons 16 through 20). Someone please watch this great show!

1. Watch Star Trek – TAS for it’s great guest stars: Ted Knight (from Caddyshack and The Mary Tyler Moore Show), TV and radio star Ed Bishop, and more!

2. “The Lorelei Signal” is the only episode of any Star Trek show in which Lt. Uhura takes command of the Enterprise. Uhura is awesome!

3. Captain Kirk never actually said “Beam me up, Scotty” in any Star Trek episode, but in two Animated Series episodes he does say, “Beam us up, Scotty.” Close enough for me!

4. The episode “Mudd’s Passion” is a sequel to the Original Series episodes “Mudd’s Women” and “I, Mudd.” All feature the actor Roger C. Carmel, also known from The Dick Van Dyke Show, Batman, and Hogan’s Heroes. He’s a blast!

5. The character of Kor, played by John Colicos, is the first Klingon to appear in Star Trek – the Original Series. Kor also appears in the Animated Series episode “The Time Trap,” but his voice is provided by James “Scotty” Doohan. That’s pretty interesting!

Having a Wild Weekend. (Rent two, get your third movie for free from any section on Saturday and Sunday.)

>>>For Saturday, Dennis suggests Canvasman: The Robbie Ellis Story (in Documentary.) How many dreams of yours have you made come true? Not sloppy, half-dreams like, “I have kids” or “my wife/husband is my best friend” or something like that, but actual dreams; goals or secret desires you set for yourself that seemed out of reach but that you went after yourself and actually made happen? Is there one? Did you ever even have one? Well here’s a documentary about a 65 year old man, from right around the corner from you, who has achieved two seemingly completely-antithetical dreams, who is happy with what he’s accomplished, and yet humble about them. It’s almost enough to make you hate him out of jealously, if he weren’t so completely-likeable, and if his journey weren’t so unlikely and eccentric. The story of Rob Elowitch, a nice Jewish boy from Portland who became a successful art gallery owner and dealer, all the while pursuing his secret passion to be a professional wrestler (under the nom du ring Robbie Ellis), Canvasman is a testament to those willing to follow their inner weirdness, no matter what the risks. The film, directed by Portlander Gary Robinov, tails Robbie through both of the disparate worlds he travels so confidently. Gearing up for the huge one-day-a-year auction which determines his gallery’s financial future and gearing up (literally) with tight silvery ring shorts to grapple in ill-attended pro matches in high-school gyms against beefed-up guys a third his age, Ellis/Elowitch approaches each task with the impish-yet-dedicated glee of a guy tickled that he’s getting away with doing exactly what he wants. The film, crisply-structured by Robinov, intercuts these details of Ellis/Elowitch’s double life with interviews with family (including Robbie’s completely-supportive wife), tales of growing up Jewish and marginalized in Maine, and footage of the day-to-day realities involved in excelling at both of his chosen professions. Sure, the Ellis half may never have become the Rock or Ric Flair (an obvious, more-successful template), but he’s in great shape for a guy in his 60s (or any age, really), works hard, and has achieved no small measure of success in the independent wrestling game (and a famous Sports Illustrated profile which finally outed him to his art patrons.) (Plus, we see his most recent art auction rake in some big bucks.) It’s a compelling, improbably-inspiring portrait of a seemingly down-to-earth guy who just chose not to let the fact that he had two oddball and, one would think, incompatible dreams keep him from achieving both.

>>>For Sunday, Former Videoporter Stockman rebuts Videoport’s Regan and her “Defense of Diablo Cody” in last week’s VideoReport with The Diablo Cody Offense: “The unworthiness of Diablo Cody.”  I consider the Oscars to have no value in an argument either for or against something. It’s like getting a bumper sticker saying “My Movie is an Honor Roll Student at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences”. That’s how much weight I put on that statue. So let’s move on. The key word here is “unworthiness”. I agree Juno is a perfectly fine movie. Fine is in fact an excellent word for it, fine is a bland simple adjective of no note. Like being called nice. It expresses flavorless mediocrity. I would not argue that Diablo Cody or Juno are horrible, painful, awful, detestable, heck no. But I would argue that Diablo Cody express a certain flavorless mediocrity which causes her to be unworthy of the grand accolades she received for Juno. Audiences, friends, family, critics, dogs, cats and the ever inept academy alike all had a veritable meltdown over how amazing Juno was. Diablo Cody made people think their brains had exploded with awesome. When in fact Juno was a perfectly fine movie. It was not bad, but it certainly had some pretty contrived, forced slightly painful dialogue. I wasn’t not entertained, I loved Bateman and J.K. Simmons and its funness! But there were plenty of things that were just off about it. Averaging it out to be…an average movie. Thus unworthy of above average noteworthiness. And I did forget United States of Tara, why? Because its average. Oh hey Diablo Cody I’m noticing a theme! It was entertaining, but not so entertaining that I remembered to finish the first season. I think about it in passing to try and remember to catch an episode or two here and there, but in general. Meh. Just like Diablo Cody herself. And for the record…I was not interested in the Sweet Valley High books growing up, so I’m sure any and all references will be way over my head. But damn it if I won’t lose out on a whipped cream vodka because any movie involving teen twins awash in high school drama makes me absolutely rip-s**t jizzy-jazzed and you damn well know it Regan!

*Next: the great Diablo Cody debate between Regan and Stockman rages on, and I know way, way better than to get in the middle of that mess!

New Releases this week at Videoport: The Rite (Anthony Hopkins livens up this otherwise-ordinary demonic possession flick with his trademark, and most welcome, hamminess; but can we all just ask why a PG-13-rated version of The Exorcist was a good idea?), The Mechanic (Jason Statham takes over from a previous generation’s hard guy Charles Bronson in this action flick about an insanely-muscly hitman teaching his trade to a young apprentice; check out the Action/Adventure section at Videoport for

"Look, you're 45 years old now. It's time to actually become Superman and, you know, fight me or something..."

the Bronson-ified original), ‘Smallville’- season 9 (the penultimate season of the proto-Superman series hits the DVD, with Tom Welling’s Superboy now rapidly approaching middle age), ‘Covert Affairs’- season 1 (Piper Perabo plays an arse-kicking CIA agent in this action-heavy thriller series that someone online compared favorably to “Burn Notice”; and if I’ve learned anything, it’s that the people on the inter-webs know what they’re talking about at all times…), ‘Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!”- season 5 (I remain precariously balanced between ‘amused’ and ‘repulsed’ when watching this hyperactive, utterly-bizarre sketch comedy show starring the two most unappealing men on the planet), The Fergusons (this dark comedy/horror flick about a family of very whitebread, seemingly-friendly suburban family who turn out to be cannibals resides, perhaps unsurprisingly, in Videoport’s Incredibly Strange section), Daydream Nation (Kat Dennings [currently stealing Natalie Portman's thunder in Thor] stars in this romantic drama about a city girl who movies back to her small town and causes all manner of erotic entanglements), Thor: Tales of Asgard (speaking of the currently-hot god of thunder, Marvel Comics puts out this animated movie about him just hammering the bejeezus out of some stuff), The Roommate (two starlets named, improbably, ‘Leighton’ and ‘Minka’ re-enact Single White Female in this PG-13 evil roommate thriller that exists, for some reason), The Brotherhood (exists! You can rent it!), The Violent Kind (it’s modern-day bikers versus possessed, demonic 50′s bikers in a secluded cabin in the woods in this grim ‘n’ gritty horror thriller), Black Death (Sean Bean climbs back into his Lord of the Rings armor in this appropriately-nasty, sword-y action flick about a monk sent to find out why one tiny village is the only place in England not covered in bleeding pustules.)

New Arrivals this week at Videoport: Kika (the only Pedro Almodovar film that was never released on DVD has now been released on DVD; you’re welcome!), Wartorn: 1861-2010 (thought-provoking HBO documentary about the oft-ignored legacy of post-traumatic stress disorder in American soldiers), ‘The Wild Throneberrys’- season 1 (the adventures of a globe-trotting animated family in this kids series), ‘Law and Order SVU”- season 9 (Chris Meloni and Mariska Hargitay continue to grimly pursue all the worst sex criminals New York City has to offer.)